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Open Poetry #25
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lost_star
Member
since 2003-03-15
Posts 114
NY, U.S.A

0 posted 2003-04-11 03:01 AM


I built a brick wall around me,
So no one could get to close,
I couldn't risk getting hurt again,
I was just to fragile inside.

I built it wide,
I built it thick,
I built it tall,
I built it strong.

I felt safe inside my walls.
I felt okay.

But then you came.

You hit my walls but you didn't walk away,
One by one you took down the bricks,
You exposed my scared inner child,
And you didn't laugh.

      THANK YOU!

© Copyright 2003 lost_star - All Rights Reserved
Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
1 posted 2003-04-11 04:46 AM


Wonderfully written, the last line was unexpected and really made this peice stand out from a lot of similar stuff. Great work.


littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
2 posted 2003-04-12 10:01 PM


lost:

felt safe inside my walls.
I felt okay.

But then you came.

You got it - amazing lines here xxoo

but then you came . . . .

Paul Wilson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
3 posted 2003-04-12 10:11 PM


lost star~ I enjoyed very much. Thanks for sharing...Paul

"To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you"

KoKo
Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow
4 posted 2003-04-12 10:43 PM


Man I LOVE this!!!!! I know exactly how this feels and have to thank you for sharing this!!! Awesome write.

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
--Chang Tzu

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