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Open Poetry #25
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Leaving
| Open Poetry #25 |
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Leaving |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Leaving is an extraction, a tearing of flesh from flesh I'd crossed the Virginia line hours before but still found myself watching the rear view mirror for her raggedy old Mustang, unsure whether I was afraid she would follow... or forget me A couple miles off 81S, I turned right onto what looked to be the main street of Traynormill A dimly lit and decades faded sign hung from the corner of a three-story brick building midway down the block, absently marking the Madden Hotel I pulled into one of several open spaces on the street and went in through the bar that occupied the first floor and also served as check-in No concierge here, I mused to myself as I ordered a double vodka over ice and took a seat at the bar It was time I chase the linger of her from my lips, it was all that was left to do and a seat at the bar numbs the same most anywhere… so it didn't matter much to me where I drank that night, long as I did |
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| © Copyright 2003 Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Scoot over would you! Duncan, it's so sad to read you like this! Looks like a long road ahead~ But if misery loves company, you got it!!! |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
I like this...great imagery and subtle pain...yet deeply touched me... I'll join you and Lori, too....I black out on vodka, but I'd love to have a 7-7, save me a place... Hugs, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Very good writing Duncan... I really enjoyed the read... Smiles2uPoetFriend *~coco~* |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Well dude, It's been my experience that liquor only enhances the taste. Nothing I've tried is really any good at cleansing the palette of that, except perhaps....more |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Duncan, your leaving's hurting.......  Heart Hugs to you, buddy  Ethel |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Dunc', ========================== It was time I chase the linger of her from my lips, ========================== That line really sealed the leaving for me. Excellent write sir! If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
make mine...a double margaretta on the rocks...extra extra salt...h |
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Kellie_Cantrell Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667New York |
.... I really enjoyed this, I totally pictured the whole scene around the poem. Very mind capturing.. Good Job!(¨`·.·´¨) (¨`·.·´¨) |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
nicely done Dunc... make mine a club soda.. lol... but put in an extra twist would you... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Leaving is an extraction, a tearing of flesh from flesh ========================== It was time I chase the linger of her from my lips, it was all that was left to do and a seat at the bar numbs the same most anywhere… =============================== I feel a story coming on ... theres much more "extracting" and "chasing" to do here ...this begs to be the begining of a series ... and as I told you before..."long winded distills" look real good on your pen. Yeah...the moth wants more.   |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"It was time I chase the linger of her from my lips," If that is all it takes then pour me double, and let me get on with it... I loved this Duncan...more? Susan |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
It was time I chase the linger of her from my lips, we all seemed to like this line... I'd join you in the "feel" but since liquor is what ruined my relationship, I would just be the shoulder for you instead. Makes me wonder if this is what my "he" was feeling back then...not that I was leaving but that he felt his love for me leaving him. M |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
The makings of a good country song here...  Shove love, make room for me at the lonely hearts cafe/bar! I'll lend you a shoulder, if you'll lend me one of yours! Then I'll knock back a real stiff drink! ~ iced tea! Anything stronger, and I start taking off my vestments! ~ not a very "angelic" thing to do in a public place! Lovin' hugs, EA |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
When you do find time to write, you double the pleasure with the tonic... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Duncan For every down there is an up, LOL enjoyed. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
damn... ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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A Whisper's Caress Senior Member
since 2000-11-03
Posts 791on the horizon of a fairytale |
it was time I chase the linger of her from my lips, Duncan, wow, you still take my breath away...... Love Annie ever deep...runs |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
and a seat at the bar numbs the same most anywhere… so it didn't matter much to me where I drank that night, long as I did * I'll buy the second round this time. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
I could use a seat at that bar too, Duncan. Great write. Sandra |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I was hoping I'd find a D-poem. I did, and I'm glad... sad how sorrow brings out the poetry in us sometimes, it really is..  K |
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Black Swan Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 165on the moon |
As i read, i felt as tho i took that journey with you, feel better,and keep writing, pain is a relentless muse ~ Talia |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
hey D....your email is messed up.... everything I send is getting sent back saying the server has no Post Office...LOL Leave it to you to drive your ISN POSTAL  got mail? You're the best I've ever felt ... |
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