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Open Poetry #25
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jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2003-04-08 05:26 PM


What is this pain,
this jagged and frozen
emotional rain?  
Its sharp edges shred any
remaining reserves; its chill
reaches my marrow.
The depths of my foundation
are quaking.

What is this void
that's rebirth shrieks,
echoing in its emptiness?
This loneliness wants a
definition - demands recognition.
This pain insists I tape
the crumpled page back
into the book.

What is this feeling that
refuses evaluation?  What is
this shaking that knows not
its own name nor from
whence it came?

Can the closing of my eyes
force it to be a dream
that departs upon my waking?

Love is dead, this I know.
I wrote the words carved
upon the gravestone.
Love is dead, for my heart
has told me so.
Love is dead, it visits me not.
Love is dead.

Isn’t it?

[This message has been edited by jellybeans (04-09-2003 10:33 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
Brad Majors
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since 2001-04-03
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Georgia
1 posted 2003-04-08 05:31 PM


isn't this the worst type of pain because it never really leaves? Very well done!
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

2 posted 2003-04-08 05:33 PM


yes it is, and no it doesn't....thank you brad, your comments always encourage me to continue writing
Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2003-04-08 06:25 PM


This pain is so deep...I remember it well.
~Hugs to you~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2003-04-08 08:57 PM


JellyBeans~

'this pain that insists I tape
the crumpled page back
into the book'


Oh my ... I have known this pain~
Don't ever want to know it again~
It seeps sometimes, even from a closed book~

Heart-felt penning~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com                        

dreambuilder
Member
since 2003-03-23
Posts 319
caddyshack
5 posted 2003-04-08 09:01 PM


I felt this:

Love is dead, this I know.
I wrote the words carved
upon the gravestone

vivid - incredible write - & I can definately relate -

. . . all that we see is but a dream within a dream  . . .

[This message has been edited by dreambuilder (04-08-2003 09:02 PM).]

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2003-04-08 09:02 PM


jellybeans...it hurts to read this...understand this emotion..but even though...love is.  I know this!
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2003-04-09 03:10 AM


this is like a "falling down on knees" kind of pain...this aches...hugs to you and know that I can relate.
Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

8 posted 2003-04-09 07:35 AM


Love is dead, for my heart
has told me so.
Love is dead, it visits me not.
Love is dead.

Isn’t it?
Is it?

well done...and a thoughtful write that perhaps is insight into our own denials


jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

9 posted 2003-04-09 01:54 PM


Enchantress thank you…love can be kind and can be cruel….sigh

Marge, thank you lady….we have suffered and we have endured…to our credit God has given us grand babies…..so I guess we are doing something right *smile*

dreambuilder….thank you so much….it is a hard pain to relate to

Martie…..love you lady…thank you so much

dixie…yes, it is, and yes I know…..hugs back

cpat…..you always read the inner me…..the one I think I hide…your perhaps is correct
thank you my friend


have made a few edits and will post here, as the original has been quoted...thank you to all...


What is this pain?

What is this pain,
this jagged and frozen
emotional rain?  
Its sharp edges shred
any remaining reserves;
its chill reaches my marrow.
The depths of my foundation
are quaking.

What is this void
that’s rebirth shrieks,
echoing in its emptiness?
This loneliness wants a
definition, it demands recognition.
This pain insists I tape
the crumpled page back
into the book.

What is this feeling that
refuses evaluation, this
shaking that knows not
its own name nor from
whence it came?

Can the closing of my eyes
force it to be but a dream
that departs upon my waking?

Love is dead, this I know;
I carved the words on the
gravestone. Yes Love is dead;
my heart has told me so.
Love is dead I declare;
this unearthly haunting
merely further witness.

Love is dead, I whisper
to no one apparent…

isn’t it?


[This message has been edited by jellybeans (04-09-2003 03:04 PM).]

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
10 posted 2003-04-10 03:39 PM


I like the edits... especially near the end. *S* But both versions are heartwrenching and powerful... both leave the reader with an ache and an emptiness and questions of our own. *S*

Even if one love isn't, others are. *S* And a heart that can share so much love with others even as it's being ripped apart is a jewel... it's very vulnerability is testament to its capacity. Excellent work!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2003-04-10 06:03 PM


Makes me think of that moment when you finally realize that you are in love all by yourself...
Do you still love them if they don't love you?
If you decide that indeed you do then you have set yourself up for lots of pain and sorrow...because instead of dealing with it in the moment you have prolonged the pain.
And if you do what does it matter to them...does love have any value if the other person doesn't want it?
Why would we want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with us?
We can't make someone love us...some relationships work out and some don't...the best we can do is put our love back in our pocket and prepare ourselves for new opportunities...James

Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
12 posted 2003-04-10 07:20 PM


loved the ending...
it leaves you open to Love again

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