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Open Poetry #25
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My Tears of Your Joy
| Open Poetry #25 |
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My Tears of Your Joy |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Old tears Of mine shall not Be shed upon your chest From Rotted, rusty cistern Where water lost it's wet And cleanses not, allowed leach, A finality of chilled hate Sucked down to hell To dissipate. So.... Please make me Shine my eyes with Trembled tears of only Your timid, torrid touch, No care taken to leave A haunted heart If you don't love me The way you need To be loved We may Not know Destiny's Desire. Alas, Weren't we grown for one another? Come.... Provoke My tears Of ~your joy~ And, Let us Make the angels smile. . . . . ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (04-08-2003 10:13 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Patricia L.Thompson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Rotted, rusty cistern Where water lost it's wet what a great line... the poem itself speaks in a wonderful way to some deep feelings... I enjoyed |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Cpat Glad you enjoyed. This is just a different slant of new love vs. unclosed chapters of old love. Of course I believe this...though easier said than done, maybe.... Some of your poetry inspires some of mine. (So, watch what you write, least I be sensored, grinning here...) Thanks for taking your time to read and respond. I appreciate you. Hugs, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (04-08-2003 11:02 AM).] |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Please make me Shine my eyes with Trembled tears of only Tremble they do...least they fall in front of God and everybody! Enjoyed the provoking of joy, and the warm smile that you share. |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Lori, Thank you for reading and replying. Could not resist writing after reading Cpat's Lacey character.... though of course, this is out of context with that character...who evidently is still wounded by Davis... and he still wounded by lambe... I couldn't help it....a romantic at heart...I do believe in new love... from above...and this would be that... no old love or hurts could stop it... any way had fun writing this...glad you liked... Appreciate your time and reply. Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Pat, I really liked all of this, but this part really stood out to me..... . . "If you don't love me The way you need To be loved We may Not know Destiny's Desire." . . If all couples would remember to love the other the same way that they themselves want to be loved, there would be less broken relationships. Heart Hugs, Ethel |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ethel, Thanks for reading. I like that too and believe it wholeheartedly. You are right... if it's right...and if it is meant to be....otherwise...it won't fly....no matter what... Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
No care taken to leave A haunted heart Pat, these lines strike me the most..the epitome of understated melancholy? |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Kaile, You really do read my poetry and catch lines others don't usually notice. No, not the epitome of understated melancholy [at all] ..not my intent.... This was written after reading Cpat's and Susan's characters...Travis and Lacey.. and NOT in context to those characters, but, rather completely opposite.. I am an idealist, not a realist when writing, ~sometimes~... In new relationships, there is baggage brought forward from unresolved issues which people take from old love to new love....without analyzing what happened and why...and getting past it, to be renewed....usually the base from those hauntings is directly related to childhood issues...but, most don't realize it or care...they can't or won't get past the pain of it....it travels forward with them and like a cancerous growth forever poisons new love.... This relationship I write of is....ummmm between two [very dynamic] individuals who are so sure of themselves singly, and motives pure, and the pleasuring oneself to the nth degree, the object, and simply based on a drawing, one to another, as mirror images, they need not worry about harming each other....thus, "no care taken to leave a haunted heart" - these are not teen-agers, but rather seasoned, "grown for one another" over time... there are no old wounds... each individually are "clean"....so in seeking pure love one gives pure love, thus "My tears of YOUR joy" (those are happy tears) These two are not normal people to begin with, and are equals in mind, heart, spirit and soul.... and of course they live happily, ever after.....smiles here... thank you for your time Kaile.... I appreciate your effort in understanding and commenting on my writing... Hugs to you, Pat Is this realistic? Depends, doesn't it? ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
wow, a long reply for me..i like! I got your intent about assurance in yourself and not carrying baggage from previous relationships from your first stanza... here's where i started to read differently (wrongly?) Shine my eyes with Trembled tears of only Your timid, torrid touch, If you don't love me The way you need To be loved ~~the use of "timid" and the pleading implied in "if you don't love me" made me think that the other partner is holding back due to his own insecurities and the self-assured one is encouraging him/her to give them a chance... just my reader's reaction  |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Kaile, Whoa, thanks for taking this extra time on my poem... 1.) by timid, I meant: not brash, but ever humble... 2.) "if you don't love", maybe redundant... however, I think I was just trying to carry the theme of the poem, the 'hopeful' basis of these two...to carry out destiny's desire..I don't see it as pleading, I see it as necessary...to both... you've given me an idea of how it reads to others....the depth, perfection, idealistic vs. realistic... it makes me want to rewrite it from a more completely positive point of view... that is a good thing....thank you... Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
This is such a wonderful poem, I've read it a couple of times and each time I enjoyed it more, thank you for sharing it with us |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Marshalzu, How glad I am you enjoy this and that you took your time and effort in leaving a reply. Thank you, hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed it a lot |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
'Weren't we grown for one another?' I love that line...how perfect!  |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Vandana, Thanks for stopping by and saying a word... Duncan, Me too! I just soooo believe it to the bottom of my heart... and am happy someone else saw it and and liked it as much as I, and commented...thank you for taking your time to read it and to reply... Means much to me, Hugs to you both, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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NewEnglandlazurlu Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470A Mountain Paradise |
Hi Pat, lots of feelings in this poem. It was difficult to find lines that stood out, as they all stood out. I especially liked: Alas, Weren't we grown for one another? Hugs for peace, Marti Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts. A.Einstein |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Pat~ A touching write of what was and what could be. I enjoy reading your poems soooooo much...Paul I really like the following We may Not know Destiny's Desire. Alas, Weren't we grown for one another? "To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you" |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Pat~ You are such a remarkable writer ... to have plucked this from inspiration, is a marvelous accomplishment~ And this - 'A finality of chilled hate Sucked down to hell To dissipate.' ... hits the mark ! I thank you for sharing such creatively unique, originally refreshing thoughts~ When you come back ... ... I will expect to see even more expanded thoughts~  He is working behind the scenes ... (and by 'He' ... I mean God !  *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ***Why, Hello, AGAIN ! Fancy meeting YOU here !  (mutter, mutter, mutter) Yep! ... with a capital 'B' ! ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Pat~ 'Let us Make the angels smile.' This smiles because of your true friendship~Sleep well ... God stands the sentry~ Good night sweet friend~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ *sigh* ... could this possibly go on foreverly ? ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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