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Open Poetry #25
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Pale Chords
| Open Poetry #25 |
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Pale Chords |
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Black Swan Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 165on the moon 
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when u leaned down to kiss me u caught me in the moment that i feared and when i finally let go i looked up and saw u had disapeared and then i knew freedom wouldnt come to easily and since im thinking your memories are alive in me i ve tried to banish this fate hate to love and feel this way over someone whos never coming back oh how i wish you'd come back when u smiled and said your happy so scared that it might change frightened sabotage gave me away and then u played along when i played our song and im still listening to it |
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| © Copyright 2003 Talia - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
the feelings well presented here..and though ones of sadness... enjoyed the way you delivered them. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
BlackSwan~ I greatly enjoyed the tenderness of the thoughts~ Welcome to Passions~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
A sad, swan song.... beautifully expressed. Warm hugs, EA |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Even though this is a sad poem, you expressed your emotions and heart very well. Hugs, Ethel |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
nice but you may need to correct you're happy and come too easily M |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Other than some spelling stuff....this is really good!!!! Enjoyed very much!!!! WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!!! Bridgette  "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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Deep_Inside Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377i can't stop hiding |
i loved this one. theres was lots of emotion here. keep loveing and keep writing hope to see you agian soon  <--- hehe funny [This message has been edited by Deep_Inside (04-09-2003 03:27 PM).] |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
I enjoyed the read of this. I do think though, that for the book, the internet slang should be changed to the proper word. |
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carol Senior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 624Florida USA |
Very well done I really liked  Real friends celebrate in who we are and have faith in all that we can become |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Talia, this is so sad! But it's also a wonderful poem about a painful side of Love that hurts for a very long time. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Talia~ You've done a beautiful job of expressing some painful emotions. Nicely done. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Black Swan Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 165on the moon |
lol bah! i know my typing skills are horrendous, so i'am used to taking the shortcuts,thanks for all your encouragement !,(it helps it really, really does) |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
I voted. Presentation needs some help but an interesting write. |
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