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Open Poetry #25
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Starsfalling
Member
since 2003-03-18
Posts 94
some where deep in the shadows

0 posted 2003-04-07 08:15 PM


this could be...
that one glorious day,
where it all must end
and maybe for just one moment,
i'll know happiness...
could my answer be correct?
after so long it seems to be the only one
i've lost all my decency,
it was stolen long ago
by the person i called love...
i dont blame her though,
for surely it was my own fault
well just keep your sweet dreams,
and just never look back


-lance


There is no peace among the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter and the laughter of thirsting gods

[This message has been edited by Starsfalling (04-07-2003 08:55 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Lance Keber - All Rights Reserved
WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
1 posted 2003-04-07 09:08 PM


well just keep your sweet dreams,
and just never look back

Hello again, I see you were really prolific today. Just a suggestion: I think that you could lose the "well just" from L13. And the "just" from L14.

A very good write Lance.

Starsfalling
Member
since 2003-03-18
Posts 94
some where deep in the shadows
2 posted 2003-04-07 09:12 PM


yeah ur right, it does sound better.. thanks
lol they tagged me for swearing
i said Fing a few times
-lance

There is no peace among the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter and the laughter of thirsting gods

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