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Open Poetry #25
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garysgirl
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since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA

0 posted 2003-04-04 03:31 PM


It has been almost six years now
since you died
You said you loved me and
I really thought you may have
........sometimes

The times when you weren't
speaking words that
cut through my heart
And the times you weren't
slapping or  gently  pushing me
across the room
or while riding down the road hollering
and screaming at me because I just
happened to look out the window
or did some other
little thing
you didn't
like

And I thought that you just  might
mean it when you said that
you loved me
until
you would get insanely jealous
and accuse me of all the
things your other women were actually
doing with  
you

But then you would be so sorry
you      said
And you would cry and beg me to
be patient with you
You would tell me that you were
like you were because of
the way you were abused
as a child
And you would beg me
not to
leave

Then
after you died
I found out some unspeakable things
that you did and
now I know.....
You could have  never  
loved me
in all those years that we were married


If you had
how could you have done
the horrible things that
you did?


© Copyright 2003 Ethel GG Kent - All Rights Reserved
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
1 posted 2003-04-04 03:37 PM


...


littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
2 posted 2003-04-04 04:04 PM


Ethel - I know this - I do - and you know deep down he did love you - in his way - in his own self-contempt - but still no excuse - and you - that feeling - that deep seated angst coupled with memory - it just doesnt seem to drift away . . .  this touched me deep - beautiful writing my friend - and bless your heart . . .  xxoo
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
3 posted 2003-04-04 04:12 PM


This touches deeply, garysgirl.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2003-04-04 05:26 PM


This reminded me of some times in my past...when I was in a situation where I told a woman I loved her and my actions didn't support my words...in truth if I truly did love her I would never have treated her as if I did...in truth I wanted to love her but I didn't have the ability at that time...but I did want to love her...sad that I could never get my act together...I could never find the connection to my heart...for she deserved to be loved...and you as well...James
luvlorn322
Junior Member
since 2002-10-28
Posts 43

5 posted 2003-04-04 05:28 PM


that was heartbreaking, but well captured, thanks for sharing
Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

6 posted 2003-04-04 05:31 PM


So very poignant.
Eric

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
7 posted 2003-04-04 07:55 PM


Thank you all very much. This one hurt to write. There's so much more I want to get out of my heart. Maybe one day I can write about it.
Heart Hugs,
Ethel

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
8 posted 2003-04-04 09:21 PM


Thanks for feeling comfortable enough to purge Ethel
Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

9 posted 2003-04-04 09:22 PM


This reminds me of when you opened a post in the lounge about feeling guilty that you are getting married again. Listen, if someone is insencere, you are not doing anything wrong by doing what is right for you. You have given us all the gift of beautifull poetry. And there are plenty out there who love you.

Never be normal!

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
10 posted 2003-04-04 09:33 PM




(tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Ethel, this is so very heartaching, dearest friend, I send many angel hugs out to you and don't know what to say other than know we are all here for you and we love you so much! (wipes tears) You have our full support, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ethel, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

bklynboy
Senior Member
since 2002-12-15
Posts 660
florida
11 posted 2003-04-04 09:41 PM


Reading this was like being on a rollercoaster. I didnt know which way it was going....very interesting and thought provoking.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
12 posted 2003-04-04 09:49 PM


The times when you weren't
speaking words that
cut through my heart
And the times you weren't
slapping or  gently  pushing me
across the room
or while riding down the road hollering
and screaming at me because I just
happened to look out the window
or did some other
little thing
you didn't
like


~*~

Now I know...
now i know....

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (04-04-2003 09:50 PM).]

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