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Open Poetry #25
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LastMoments
Member
since 2003-03-07
Posts 92


0 posted 2003-04-03 10:16 PM



These lost forgotten tears
That fall like hollow rain
Each droplet holding its own
A story to a hidden past

A broken shelter lost within
A hand that hangs alone
Where is my place to grasp
Does falling mean this much?

Landing on the ground
It soaks what life remains
As dreams seem to sufficate
And burn in bitter anguish

As this wish becomes unknown
And desires fade like shadows
To the sun that lights the ground
To make me feel no more

To leave me by myself

© Copyright 2003 LastMoments - All Rights Reserved
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
1 posted 2003-04-04 11:28 AM


LastMoments - you said you wanted to know someones thoughts about this poem. I like what you have said, sad perhaps from inside, but written well with a lot of meaning...

BC

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
2 posted 2003-04-04 11:37 AM


loneliness is no good...i felt your desire and replusion towards being alone...

As dreams seem to sufficate
And burn in bitter anguish

i like the imagery here..there's a typo error though...

the forums move very fast at times...a suggestion: you may get more replies to your work if you read and respond to others...make yourself known...



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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #25 » Left, Poem tell me what you think plz

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