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Open Poetry #25
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regards2you
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since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California

0 posted 2003-03-26 08:59 AM





Denial
A space
In mind's residence
Padded with luxurious
Curtained comfort of the known.

My safe room, where there is
No riding waves of worry
Ever steady knit of being
Wrapped in fabric
Of aloofness
Crocheted
Acuteness
But me!

Yes, I hear you,
Tap, tap, tapping,
Your mind on mine.

Go away!

I'm safe and besides
Icicles come spring
Melt all by themselves
To mix and mingle
With these tears
Of knowing
It's you.
Why
Does
This love
Feel like
Such
Grief?

And,if I let you
Break my seal of denial
Might it not be best
To crush me to finest dust
I would shimmer
Though true, in slanted light.

Or, melt me
Pure magic mist
To be dew's diamond sparkle
On dawn's early false light
For, I would still be.

But, if you
Scatter the shatter
Of my reality
To mirrored pieces
Of honesty
Thinking all I need
Is you,
Tha true love
Is healing
Then,
Please, don't stop trying
To break down my walls
Because,

I'd like to think so, too.

Trusting,
So hard
When I've
Just never been
Loved with a love
Like you.

You are like
Water, wind and rain,
A nature that I can
No longer deny.
A gift, it would seem
From  Him, on high.

Teach me,
Touch me,
Hold me,
Enfold me,
So I may
Finally
Confess

My love for you.
.
.
.
.


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

© Copyright 2003 Patricia L.Thompson - All Rights Reserved
1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
1 posted 2003-03-26 09:05 AM


i started going through trying to pick a line i liked...but couldn't ...i liked them all...powerful stuff here...helen
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2003-03-26 09:10 AM


Wonderful array of emotions displayed here Pat.
I know that feeling of wanting and needing another's love..
yet still holding back, staying in that safe zone we create so as not to be hurt..
Hopefully true love wins..
Loved this...therefore, I'm keeping it!!
You write in this format so very well...very well indeed.
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
3 posted 2003-03-26 09:11 AM




Thank you, Helen. Coming from you, that is a real compliment. I so appreciate you taking you time and effort in replying.

Hugs, Pat  

Nancy,

Wow. Thank you so much. Yeah, one would hope love wins out. And, there are many emotions involved...thank you, re: writing styles, I feel comfortable using this format...though have no idea what the proper name of it might be....it seems to fit my mind best.

Re: Love, just ask Ethel....she has captured it best, it does seem.

Thanks for replying, Hugs, Pat



..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

[This message has been edited by regards2you (03-26-2003 09:20 AM).]

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
4 posted 2003-03-26 09:23 AM


Absolutely beautiful. No love without stings of pain!
Love, Margherita

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
5 posted 2003-03-26 09:43 AM



Margherita,

You know, you remind me so of Karilea.


Thank you for reading and replying; I don't necessarily agree with you, but to each his own.

...I wouldn't ever call true love, which I do believe in, and am talking about here,  a 'sting of pain', though, personally...

painful perhaps in some ways, trying to let down our guards and trust,  but not stinging...

and I think fear the biggest pain of all. And, if it is TRUE love, and not returned, it is so much easier, though hurts a lot, to move on, for, with true love, you want the very best for him, and automatically let go....assuming there was no game playing and dishonesty in the beginning...
  
Again, thanks... Hugs, Pat  





..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

[This message has been edited by regards2you (03-26-2003 09:52 AM).]

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
6 posted 2003-03-26 11:47 AM


Pat, this is really awesome writing. As I was reading it, I was also noticing the way and format in which you were putting the words.It seems you've captured something in your writing that I haven't been able to yet...the way you describe the situations and make the reader feel they are right there. I haven't been able to do that without it sounding strange to me. Yours doesn't sound strange or strained. The words just flow along. Really good.

And thank you for the compliment in your response to one of your replies. I appreciate that.

Heart Hugs,
Ethel

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
7 posted 2003-03-26 12:04 PM


In regards to you--and your poetry--we Pipsters are blessed each day with your shining presence...  

Love & Light,
Linda

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
8 posted 2003-03-26 01:17 PM



Ethel,

Glad you read and left a message.
Thank re: writing style, I appreciate you letting me know it flowed well for you. Writing like this, tho. Lord knows it can always be improved upon, seems to come most naturally to me.
What I mean, too, if ever a couple has been in love ~and love~ it is certainly you and Gary, which I find precious.


Miss Linda,

Tsk! It is I who am blessed by you with your wise and loving poetry.
And, if you ever leave for that period of time again, I'm gonna hunt you down. Smiling....glad you are back...we missed the upbeat, uplifting you!

Thank you both for reading and answering.  Hugs, Pat

  

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

9 posted 2003-03-26 05:02 PM


very nice.. well written..a build of emotional tension as it goes..tightly woven..and seemingly heartfelt.. genuine...

all.. put together in a form that seems to suit you well...

one of your best I think... but everything you write seems to be getting better and better...

I enjoyed.

Robert Frazier
Senior Member
since 2003-02-06
Posts 1014

10 posted 2003-03-26 05:12 PM


this is strong! an emotional, winding tale that empties like a water fall of truth!

Rf

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
11 posted 2003-03-26 05:55 PM



Cpat/Ron,

Thank you for your kind words, but there is yet much improvement needed.
I could not help but get ~better and better~ considering my favorite writer has been so willing to help me along the way. Thank you

~Many~ years ago when going through a rather difficult chapter of my life (actually was half the book of me, I think), in order to keep from going stark raving mad myself and to understand the bizarre behavior of a person in my life, I lived in the library it seemed, hauling home tons of books at a time  of every psychiatric textbook published, along with every self-help manual available and an array of positive thinking books.

One of the affirmations I had hanging on bathroom mirror for a daily+ reminder was:

Every day, in every way, I'm getting ~better and better~. Grins! Some things just take awhile, I guess!  ...smiling here...

Glad this seemed genuine and that you enjoyed. Hugs, Pat


Robert,

I am so happy you took the time to read. I love your reply, rather poetic! Glad that truth came through, for I do believe this to be true in many cases.... Thanks, Pat


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
12 posted 2003-03-26 06:01 PM


Beautiful flow of thoughts...James
vandana
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Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
13 posted 2003-03-26 09:31 PM


liked it
WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
14 posted 2003-03-26 09:33 PM


Pat, I think I forgot to breathe in the read of this, for I found myself breathless at it's end. Very nicely done, so easily related to.
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
15 posted 2003-03-26 09:54 PM



James,

Glad you found the flow, beautiful.
Thank you so much for your time.

Vandana,

So good to see you reading. Thanks!

Anne,

Sure glad you took the time to tell me how you felt about this. The breathless part. Kinda like that for me, too. Guess I really get into my own poetry, and, it is so good to find out someone else can relate so much.

So thank you for taking your time to read and reply. Means much...

Hugs to all three of you, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
16 posted 2003-03-27 01:15 AM


It's the finest wretchedness there is, and confessing it is the only way in -- or out....

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
17 posted 2003-03-27 10:18 AM



Ed,

Thank you for reading and your reply.
I almost changed the title for afraid ~wretchedness~ might be viewed as too torturous. But, this situation could be just that, on some days.  

Disclosure only when one is ready to pass possible figments of imagination and face reality. And, maybe not ever depending on circumstances, wants and needs.

So glad you took the time to read my poetry and reply. Thanks, Hugs, Pat

  

  

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
18 posted 2003-03-27 12:00 PM


Oh, wow. *S* This is fantastic!!! You've captured the roller coaster ride of hope and fear, anticipation and dread, wanting to leap and strapping on a parachute, can it be and what if it's not... all those mixed needs that jumble our thoughts when we've been burned but still seek love's warmth. *S* Maybe only "first loves" happen without baggage... for trust comes a bit harder every time it's given unwisely. *S*

Forgive my rambling... I know I've inserted "me" right into your words... but that's what happens when I identify with a write so much. *G* And I needed to catch my breath after holding it... so I could put this into my library. *S*

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
19 posted 2003-03-27 12:13 PM


This is one of my favorites from you Pat.
It speaks from the heart to the heart, and I was wrapped up in every poetic word it.

Beautiful work my Dear


regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
20 posted 2003-03-27 12:14 PM




Ruth,

I love your rambling! Though I hate to use the word: [exactly] for it is so overused, I can't help but say it now.
Exactly! You summed 'it' up perfectly.

I am always pleased to find I've been  able to write a poem to which others relate so much. Thank you for taking your time to read and reply. You made my day!  Hugs,  Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
21 posted 2003-03-27 12:22 PM




Lori,

Just missed you, while answering Ruth.
So good to hear from you and thank you for replying and that it hit heart to heart. Still working on Mud Bath, but I can't imagine (yet) where the amount of mud needed to roll around as much as I'd like to, would be....some mud puddle! grins....Appreciate your thoughts.  Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
22 posted 2003-03-28 03:18 AM


Pat - this is awesome - goodness - loved it - and uhhh hey . . . denial isnt a bad thing - right?  hehehe  xxoo

Yes, I hear you,
Tap, tap, tapping,
Your mind on mine.

Go away!

this was amazing

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
23 posted 2003-03-28 03:58 AM


Hello Pat

Your words captivated me from start to finish as I savoured every word.

"The countless generations
like autumn leaves go by
Love only is eternal,
love only does not die..."

Take care......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
24 posted 2003-03-28 07:54 AM



Lt'l Wng - Sue...Glad you liked the
"tap, tap, tapping, go away!" me, too.

Yes, denial is not a bad thing, however, love grows and puts pressure on your brain and pretty soon you're going around bumping into walls, giggling for no reason... downright giddy!  Grins...thanks for reading.

Suetang,

Glad you enjoyed; thanks for the
"love only is eternal". When I read that, my thought was, yes it is, it's
~evergreen~.

Thanks for your time and comments.

Hugs to you both, Pat


  

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
25 posted 2003-03-28 10:30 AM


Oh Pat this is indeed outstanding. I could feel the emotions of fear and wanting. There are so many great lines.

I picked this one, as so many times, this is how I feel about life around me:

...My safe room, where there is
No riding waves of worry...


Hugs and luvs for peace.  Marti

Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.  A.Einstein

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
26 posted 2003-03-28 10:45 AM



Marti,

Good to hear from you. Yes, fear and wanting, the balance of that like a see-saw....Safe room? A wonderful place to go, to be, but, too often, (probably not from God's point of view) it takes real, heartfelt prayer to get there and stay there.

The Serenity Prayer a great help for all circumstances:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Thanks for your time, and peace to you, too...such a loving, kind lady.

Hugs and love, Pat  




..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

[This message has been edited by regards2you (03-28-2003 10:53 AM).]

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
27 posted 2003-03-28 11:32 AM


You know, there is something to be said about the honesty that is so difficult to admit.  This was one of the finest breeches of fantasy I have ever read my friend.
Purely touching and tender. TD

kaile
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since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
28 posted 2003-03-28 12:22 PM


Pat,

this is awesome...

Denial
A space
In mind's residence
Padded with luxurious
Curtained comfort of the known.

an excellent first stanza that sets the bar for the rest of this piece...in fact, with some twiddling, i think it can be a poem about denial by itself...specifically a tanka(Japanese poetry form of 5-7-5-7-7 syllabled lines)

And,if I let you
Break my seal of denial
Might it not be best
To crush me to finest dust
I would shimmer
Though true, in slanted light.

was surprised by slanted light and had to pause for a moment..my prejudice makes me assume that once the denial seal is broken, the light that shine through will be so brilliant that it blinds the eyes...

Or, melt me
Pure magic mist
To be dew's diamond sparkle

didn't particularly care for magic mist (think magic is a weak word to be used here) but loved the dew's diamond

But, if you
Scatter the shatter
Of my reality
To mirrored pieces
Of honesty

Freaking cool stanza!!! utterly delightful

i'm taking this prisoner in my library

kaile
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singapore
29 posted 2003-03-28 12:24 PM


the cookies on my computer aren't set properly so i can't go and edit my reply now...

anyway, just like to say that the serenity's prayer is an all-time favourite philosophy of mine...i have been carrying this prayer around with me in my wallet for 2+ years already...the third anniversary is 1st June..

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
30 posted 2003-03-28 03:07 PM



Kathleen, How glad I am you read and for your reply. Never heard the phrase: "breech of fantasy", but am happy to hear mine is the best you've ever read.   Thanks also for the touching and tender. Appreciate your time.  Hugs,  Pat


Kaile!  Whoa! You have me grinning ear to ear. I love it when you do this. So helpful and encouraging to me. I see what you mean abt. 1st stanza/tanka, all I'd need to do  is make 1st two lines, the first line, and add a 2nd line w. 7 syllables, the next 3 are 5-7-7-  How observant, you are.

Yes, glad you caught the [slanted] light...to be used both as slanted light in which dust particles float, but, also, deliberately meant as less than I'd be if I made the connection w. him..so not pure love and light..

Magic is definitely an overused word...I wasn't that thrilled with it either. Me too, re: dew's diamond


And you tickle me with your enthusiasm re: Scatter the shatter stanza...
You said: "Freaking cool"... laughed out loud at you...and finally, I also smiled about you having knowledge of and using the Serenity Prayer, considering what I thought was your stance on God...(take him/it, or leave it or, better put, not ready to delve into the God factor quite yet).
So it pleases me that you like it....or the philosphy of it. It has saved me many times from saying or doing foolish things...or not quite getting a grasp on a situation that has me baffled... it works, of course, my opinion is, GOD WORKS, if we but ask Him...Anyway, I'm so glad you took this indepth look at my poetry. Thank you very much. Hugs, Pat





..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
31 posted 2003-03-28 04:19 PM


there's a certain joy, and comfort, in knowing someone cares and loves you enough to 'help' you, to get past the past ..even though with that comfort comes fear and unguarded sensitivity.. I think you captured that well, err at least thats what I got from this ..almost missed this one too!

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
32 posted 2003-03-28 07:02 PM


regards2you - many thoughts and feelings in this writing, I like the way you express them...

BC

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
33 posted 2003-03-28 09:51 PM


Excellent, felt the longing to succumb to the 'L' word
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
34 posted 2003-03-28 10:02 PM



Alyssa,

Glad you found this and yes, your review works perfectly well. Thanks.

Bill,

Glad you liked this.

Raph,

Yes, it is there,  Ohhh, the ~L~ word, scary, isn't it? Smiling.

Many thanks to all three of you for taking your time to read and then to reply. Means a lot to me. Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
35 posted 2003-05-31 09:40 PM



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