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Open Poetry #25
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Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2003-03-24 05:09 PM



Wrap some words around it
Fair lace tatted phrases
Showing daylight through
Carefully executed patterns
But covering enough
Modesty
Is privately reserved.

I would that my eyes
Read true the tears
Gathered in the cistern of me
And that my lips drank
Of the bitterness
from each stifled scream
Or anguished cry of
ENOUGH!!

Should I die
Before the next sunrise
Would I be judged a mortal sinner
For denying these things
To me? to whom?

For wrapping words around it
And leaving the rest…

Inside?

Or would it matter at all
Such small sacrifices of transparency
Made for lack of courage
When it came to exposing
The raw un-hemmed edges
Of those words
And feelings

What if?

Who knows....


© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2003-03-24 05:11 PM


I'm keeping this.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2003-03-24 05:14 PM



What if?
Some know...

"I would that my eyes
Read true the tears"...

some know...

"And that my lips drank
Of the bitterness
from each stifled scream"

some feel...

"What if?

Who knows...."

we would...

and what Kacy said.



Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2003-03-24 05:36 PM


My knees are beginning to genuflect...

Peace and Light,
EA

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2003-03-24 06:38 PM




(sigh) I think some words are better left un-hemmed, you want to be able to detail every part of the grand design and of course you always want the light to seep into every image and that is how words left unhemmed get a cotterpin of their own! (big hugggsssssss) This is marvelous, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
5 posted 2003-03-24 07:39 PM




Oh damn! You continue to outwrite yourself and keep me in tears....

So touching!


Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
6 posted 2003-03-24 07:44 PM


When it came to exposing
The raw un-hemmed edges
Of those words
And feelings

Oooh, I love these lines...heck I love the whole poem!! Very good. Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2003-03-24 08:27 PM


Wrap some words around it
Fair lace tatted phrases
Showing daylight through
Carefully executed patterns

But covering enough
Modesty
Is privately reserved.

I would that my eyes
Read true the tears

Gathered in the cistern of me
And that my lips drank
Of the bitterness
=======================

Should I die
Before the next sunrise
Would I be judged a mortal sinner
For denying these things
To me? to whom?

For wrapping words around it
And leaving the rest…

Inside?

Or would it matter at all
Such small sacrifices of transparency
Made for lack of courage
When it came to exposing
The raw un-hemmed edges
Of those words
And feelings

================================


I dont know where you and Duncan are getting your inspiration today, but the wells of inked inspire are running deep and I want some of what ever this is!!!

damn...this is one very cool poem....

yeppers...I keeping this one too  

"... and when we get to the pearly gates ...
we will learn the things that they taught us were sins ...
are really just called mistakes."

Tom Kimmel


  

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (03-24-2003 08:29 PM).]

Sunkissed
Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610

8 posted 2003-03-24 09:02 PM


Powerful lament, Captain, one that could hardly be ignored.

Well done.


Sunkissed.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2003-03-24 09:07 PM


Ron

"Should I die
Before the next sunrise
Would I be judged a mortal sinner
For denying these things
To me? to whom?

For wrapping words around it
And leaving the rest…"

The words are there...between the lines, wheather you know it or not.  


Miah
Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062
Pennsylvania
10 posted 2003-03-24 09:22 PM


True talent at its best.
MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
11 posted 2003-03-24 09:44 PM


The chill grows colder as the words get deeper...

-MVS

You CAN make a difference:
http://educate-yourself.org/

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

12 posted 2003-03-25 09:05 AM


'Or would it matter at all
Such small sacrifices of transparency
Made for lack of courage
When it came to exposing
The raw un-hemmed edges
Of those words
And feelings

What if?

Who knows....'


I'm going to try very hard to get this verse out of my head today.  Questioning so interferes with my serenity!!  



Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
13 posted 2003-03-25 09:12 AM


...damn
into my library with  his gem!

WhileIWasGone
Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486

14 posted 2003-03-25 09:18 AM


*sigh*...I wish I had written this...
You are amazing...great work.

H.

[This message has been edited by WhileIWasGone (03-25-2003 09:36 AM).]

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
15 posted 2003-03-25 09:20 AM


"For wrapping words around it
And leaving the rest…

Inside?"

Don't we all leave things inside until the time comes that we meet someone that for some unexplainable reason makes us want to purge?  

I loved every word of this...

Susan

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
16 posted 2003-03-26 03:28 AM


Should I die
Before the next sunrise
Would I be judged a mortal sinner
For denying these things
To me? to whom?

I'm lost in the pause of that thought and so I'll wait for it to come to me, which I'm certain it will in some form or another.


Oh how I love the way you write Cpat~



SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
17 posted 2003-03-26 06:56 AM


Very nice poem!
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

18 posted 2003-03-26 02:18 PM


no one uses metaphor with such excellance as you do.....incredible weaving of words
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