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Open Poetry #25
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Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455


0 posted 2003-03-24 11:18 AM



The bleed is complete
even the night is satisfied

and I am simply bored
with the color
red

The stone bows in reverence
to a futile heart, finally recognized

say goodbye love
I’ve long overstayed
my welcome

© Copyright 2003 Duncan - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2003-03-24 11:24 AM


Get your behind back in here man...we're not letting you go anyplace!

Good read...
tight,
concise...
full of...passion.

Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
2 posted 2003-03-24 11:39 AM


nicely done!
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2003-03-24 11:45 AM


I have to be totally honest with you, I do not think I fully understand your words, but they certainly are poetic!

(Have you been feeling unappreciated in a relationship and now you are moving on?)

Peace & Light,
EA

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2003-03-24 01:05 PM


this page is blue
so we know we can
keep you
here

Hi, I'm home for a few hours, so be prepared....

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2003-03-24 01:06 PM


sometimes there is no other way
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2003-03-24 02:22 PM


First of all....tis been waaay too long since ya posted one of these....dont make the moth wait so long .. yayay


Now............


The bleed is complete
even the night is satisfied

===================


could that opening line be any cooler???
damn I love the impact of that...
the imagery and the personify too!!

and I am simply bored
with the color
red

==================

love the statement this makes and the image...


as to the red? ... well..
thats why we return to the blue....
as in pretty blue flame   heh

The stone bows in reverence
to a futile heart, finally recognized

say goodbye love
I’ve long overstayed
my welcome


===============
I LOVE the stone reference and image....
and the whole essence of your ending...the whole poetic phrasing of this...it has such a  classic, melancholy, tragic pen and quill
quality to it...
I think its one of your best...one of your most "deep and layered writes...succinct on the surface..but its in underlying emotions open doors to places deep.
You've been taking your poetry to a higher level for several months now....Im enjoying the ride and the view

Robert Frazier
Senior Member
since 2003-02-06
Posts 1014

7 posted 2003-03-24 02:26 PM


powerful!  so few words, so much told...it cuts deep!

Rf

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

8 posted 2003-03-24 02:27 PM


(smiling)... what JM said....

and...

like the tone set in reference to the images presented.. it is in some ways a bit open ended for the reader to draw from it..what or who you are saying goodbye to.. making it an easy piece ot read layers into.

On the surface..a lovers lament of sorts..final realization of the end..of the fact no more is to be bled..even the lust of night is satisfied... and the regret.. with perhaps a hint of self blame...

very nicely done Duncan... very nice indeed.


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2003-03-24 02:52 PM


Duncan

This sounds bitter...could feel cold through the words...a painful writing.  I hope your goodbye takes you past this to a place with better heat and lighting.  

Krystopher Morris
Member
since 2002-11-11
Posts 130
Ancient land called Chivalry
10 posted 2003-03-24 02:58 PM


We hear goodbye alot these days...Why not say Hello instead? I get a sense of giving up from this poem...Not sure if thats whats you tried for or not...Either way it's wonderful in many aspects! Thanks tons for sharing!

Poetry is love and love is life.

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
11 posted 2003-03-24 03:19 PM


Duncan, I've was wondering if you were planning
on leaving us, too. then, I read that you're
"bored with the color red", and I thought
about these pages being blue, like someone
else said. Don't tell us bue. Okay??  

Heart Hugs,  
Ethel


(psssttttt!! You made a big impact with
just a few words, didn't you??? LOL
Very good, friend)

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
12 posted 2003-03-24 04:33 PM


How well you drop the stone into the lake...and then the waves carry on to all points.
I enjoy your style, and write...
Sadness for the futility at the end. TD

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
13 posted 2003-03-24 04:43 PM


This was painful to read,  but I understand the sense of satisfaction when there is nothing left to bleed.

I'm right behind you Duncan~  

Etain
Member
since 2003-02-22
Posts 92
The moon...
14 posted 2003-03-24 10:36 PM


Behind a goodbye rests a new welcome.
Sad but filled with longing.
Warm greetings,
Etain.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
15 posted 2003-03-24 11:07 PM


Duncan - I have bled many times myself and yes - despite the pain - it does become quite tedious . . . still I bleed but with new blood - may you rise . . . xxoo  
Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056
Kansas USA
16 posted 2003-03-25 02:04 AM


Must be cured when the pain is more boring than agonizing.
Like Wilde said, "Suffering is one long moment."

Great write!
Shenachie

[This message has been edited by Bridget Shenachie (03-25-2003 02:07 AM).]

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

17 posted 2003-03-25 11:25 AM


PoetFriendDuncan, it's a pleasure to read your poetry and I wish2compliment you on this exquisite write...

Smiles2u
*~coco~*

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
18 posted 2003-03-25 11:48 AM


Though the bleeding may have been consistant and thorough, the coagulation of your words inspire pensive contemplation.

-MVS

You CAN make a difference:
http://educate-yourself.org/

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
19 posted 2003-03-25 01:11 PM


damn...

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
20 posted 2003-03-25 09:39 PM


Well, Duncan, apparently it has all been said. Just let me add my compliments. And hope you are not too sad.
Sandra

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
21 posted 2003-03-25 09:48 PM


Duncan - know these feelings only too well my friend, glad I stopped by to read this one...

BC

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
22 posted 2003-03-26 11:03 AM


We go through agonies thinking we can make things right, find the joy we lost ever so unintentionally... if only we do this, had done that... just put the hoops out there and we'll start jumping. But sometimes, there is no bandaid, no solution... and we know we have to
just
let
go

This brief but powerful poem touched me deeply, Duncan... excellent work!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
23 posted 2003-03-26 11:11 AM


Duncan
Bottom fishing again, LOL enjoyed.

Learninginlife
New Member
since 2003-03-13
Posts 9
Mississippi
24 posted 2003-03-26 12:12 PM


Wow great job
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