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Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

0 posted 2003-03-24 12:30 PM

The Beams

Wood beams,
a simple form,
one standing, one across;
in that time and place any two
might serve, and this building has so many,
each beam set strong, dedicated
to that very same task;
a church, built from
wood beams.

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

1 posted 2003-03-24 12:35 PM

there are a lot of symbolic lines within this, I find it to be very deep......

Lauren~

I close my eyes and there in the shadows I see your light
You come to me out of my dreams
Across the night

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

2 posted 2003-03-24 12:41 PM

Thank you, Greeneyes. It is so hard to avoid cliches when writing on a theme like this, and I was afraid I'd fall into that trap.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

3 posted 2003-03-24 12:48 PM

you didnt!!!!

I close my eyes and there in the shadows I see your light
You come to me out of my dreams
Across the night

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

4 posted 2003-03-24 12:50 PM

Rat - I got so much out of this - sometimes I go too deep but to me it gave me the impression of the foundation - you know - of it all - especially now.
nicely done xxoo

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

5 posted 2003-03-24 01:13 AM

You're doin fine work in these structured writes....I don't have the discipline to even attempt them...Gads! It's all I can do to keep what I DO write from runnin' all over hell and gone.

This is a good in any form, dude.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

6 posted 2003-03-24 03:41 AM

Hi Ed,
You know that I like this form. LOL
But, I also like the content, too.
It made me think of the foundation
of a Church, and not just the building.
Very good.

Hugs,
Ethel

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

7 posted 2003-03-24 08:56 AM

The foundation of this rictameter is rock solid!

Peace & Light,
EA

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

8 posted 2003-03-24 11:13 AM

Ed...So simple to build something strong!

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

9 posted 2003-03-24 11:41 AM

Ed,

Smiling at Earth Angel's (Linda) reply. True. I was so into the content I didn't even notice the form of rictameter. Enjoy your talent and thank you for sharing it here, with us.

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

10 posted 2003-03-24 01:09 PM

wow!

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

11 posted 2005-03-03 04:59 PM

The subtlety makes your message all the more powerful... This is superb!

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