navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #25 » for my younger brother
Open Poetry #25
Post A Reply Post New Topic for my younger brother Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore

0 posted 2003-03-18 10:47 AM


you squinted your eyes
and didn't cease even as
my figure grew larger in your vision~
you, the image-conscious one
who ditched his spectacles
ever since,
as you confessed in
a phone conversation with your friend,
that the girls found you more dashing that way

we just stood
and let the seconds consume
the silence between us,
for lack of a better thing to do,
yet adamant that something be done
I did take in your height and body though,
wondering how it is for you
to look down at me and my puny figure now
I never really did that before

I finally suggested that we go home
and you deferentially walked
more than a few steps behind me,
all the while stroking your slick centre-parted hair,
perhaps as a defense against
the agony of talking to me
while I asked your shadow
when it was exactly that
I lost the brother that I taught poker and other assorted stuff

[This message has been edited by kaile (03-18-2003 10:51 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved
KristieSue
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460
PA, US
1 posted 2003-03-18 10:57 AM


heh, reminds me of a conversation I had with my brother a couple of weeks ago...

when I asked him what happened, he told me it was my fault that I left him at home when I moved out...

I should have just stuck with what was in my head..."we're two different people and while growing up, we grow differently..."

Good write :-)

Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
2 posted 2003-03-18 11:06 AM


We do all grow up differently and sometimes we lose touch. Very well done
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2003-03-18 11:13 AM


Your poem brought back memories of my own.

My brother is 12 months and 1 day younger that I am. When we were young(er), I was much taller and I really played the big sister role. I was also his protector. Now he's 6 feet 5 inches tall and he acts more like my big brother and I'm his little sister! I actually like this reversing of roles!

I enjoyed your little story with its vivid images and the emotions felt.

Warm hugs,
Earth Angel

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

4 posted 2003-03-18 11:17 AM


this..you did with an insight and understanding that it takes some a lifetime to understand..

the eventual alienation of those close to us as we grow and they do the same...the independence and the reluctance for either of you to reach out in a meaningful way and bridge the distance leaves you both uncomfortable as well as him still walking more than a few paces behind you...


in the end you wonder... what happened to the one you taught these other games..and yet fail to teach him a larger one by being the one to teach him family and connections are something that someone has to take the lead on.. be the initiator...the one to open the other up...

you think it... but don't act on it...
insightful in that life is so like that at times.. even when we ourselves would like the very thing we will not facilitate...


well done... I enjoyed

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
5 posted 2003-03-18 11:23 AM




Kaile,

I think this an exceptional write.

So thought provoking, your wondering outloud a tender, touching subtle, soft ache of the differences and lack of communication and the changes which are taking place.

I like this a great deal.

Hugs, Pat



..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Mon Cherie
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers
6 posted 2003-04-28 09:05 AM


Can I be so sure to say that you wrote this piece based on personal experience?

I think I really like this part:
"I did take in your height and body though,
wondering how it is for you
to look down at me and my puny figure now
I never really did that before"

Reminds us that your bro was equally puny, if not even more so, when he was much younger.

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #25 » for my younger brother

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary