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Open Poetry #25
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2003-03-17 07:06 AM


I would like some nice hashed browns
toasted dark..yeah..just like that,
I guess that's why they call 'em browns...
But yeah, I like 'em--just like that...

I would like a cheesey egg
in scoop of strawberry preserved--
toast, cut into triangles
(as if this might be a pop quiz)
and coffee just this side of light
before the sun's display.

I'd like some milk--
served very cold--
8 oz. measured
just like gold
in a tall thin glass
no ice--
In fact, pretend?
I ordered twice
and bring me two
just in case--
a shame to let
good milk to waste...

and yanno? those sausages?
and pancakes that come with my meal?
Bring them to that gentleman--
that one that's sitting here for free?
and just a couple strawberries
from the breakfast bar--
top it on some cake--whip-creamed--
and give him coffee, too, on me...

(since, I know, refills are free...)

and oh I sipped my java then,
wishing for a cigarette...
she asked me if that would be all.
I said that I did not know yet.


She smiled at me and shook her head.
She told me: "He's here every night."
She wrinkled nose with her distaste,
nodding backwards to the right--
toward the bridge, beneath the ramp
she told me that he'd set up camp
coming here for the bathroom
blessing her with his perfume
on days she'd had to clean the "loo",
sometimes she had to scrub bowl twice...

I told her "just bring me the check"
for I had lost my appetite--
"bring the food to him," I said,
before I tipped her twice.

*   *   *

I wasn't hungry anymore.
Desperation nauseates.
It wasn't him. It wasn't her.
But I was grateful for the door
and clamped a butt b'tween my teeth
as I walked across the street
grateful for the imbetween
of me and her and her and him.



© Copyright 2003 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2003-03-17 07:43 AM


Gawwwd I love your insight and rhymes divine baby...wanna hug ya for this one
The humilty of your rhymes touches this mothy heart o mine.

OH and ahem?? wheres me upDATE email????? LOL

(naggy nosey moths are the worst) heh

[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (03-17-2003 07:44 AM).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2003-03-17 07:57 AM


I am fighting the urge to explain this one--and yer reply!



egads woman...


the tails I could tell...

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2003-03-17 07:58 AM


Tales!

yeah...that's what I meant...

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
4 posted 2003-03-17 08:14 AM


When are you going to write the twisted book I'm already standing in line to buy the first
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

5 posted 2003-03-17 08:34 AM


nicely done Ser... told in meter and rhyme with meaning and heart...
not much better than this...

enjoyed

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
6 posted 2003-03-17 11:14 AM


Well, for starters, your poem near drove me insane! Let me explain. Not only have I been spring-cleaning my home, but I have also been spring-cleaning the temple of my soul--my body! I have been detoxifying (no, I'm not an alky-holic!--mind you, with the given state of current affair, one could easily be driven to drink!)  I am starving, and the fine, albeit fatty, food fare that you so VIVIDLY described, caused me to start drooling!--fortunately, my resolve is strong and I shall be "purified" in 20 hours, 15 minutes and 10 seconds. Time just flies when you're having fun!

On a more serious note, your poem rings of many things---and not all of them are happy!
You do not spoon feed the reader (as much as I would love for you to --especially the pancakes and sausages!). Very intriguing...

On a literary level, this write rocks!

Warm, springtime-cleaning hugs,
EA

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2003-03-17 11:32 AM



What Raph said...

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
8 posted 2003-03-17 11:59 AM


K - animosity towards humanity in general - this is what I felt -  always leaving me in awe - and yes - TY very much - now I am starving . . .

xxoo

[This message has been edited by littlewing (03-17-2003 12:29 PM).]

Flower
Member
since 2003-03-15
Posts 240
California
9 posted 2003-03-17 01:46 PM


Very interesting, I enjoyed.

Love reading all these great writes.
I write not!

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2003-03-17 01:46 PM


serenity...you are simply complicated ...with a big heart and the most amazing way with words.  I want to give you a hug too!
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

11 posted 2003-03-17 02:16 PM


oh....
sigh....
I have no words
let me just say...I understand
course....when don't we, when we read each other?
hugs to my mirror sister

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

12 posted 2003-03-17 03:11 PM


Oh this is marvelous and YOU? Gorgeous!

Here's a hug from me too

adding this to my library.

luv ya

Maree


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

13 posted 2003-03-17 03:11 PM


oops adding now
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
14 posted 2003-03-17 03:20 PM

















(big hugggssssssss) Oh Karen, I think this too rocks, I agree with what Linda said about you simpl can't spoon-feed the reader, you know, you've got to just sit there, tap the fingernails against the table, lean your elbow back onto your chair with your legs overlapped, take a sip of water, notice that grease seem ever so darker, and then rise to the door! (smiles) I just love how you narrate, I am not big on any kind of fast food and live on rice, noodles, and Thai and Arabic foods normally, hehehe, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karen, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton













"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
15 posted 2003-03-17 03:47 PM


Karen, your tenderness and compassion that I felt through this is really touching. You write so amazingly of the real issues of life.

I'm with Raph and Karilea....when's the book of your experiences coming out???Huh??

Heart Hugs, Serenity
Ethel

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

16 posted 2003-03-17 08:01 PM


I thank you all much, and? I didn't really want to explain this one, but I think I should, just so that it's clear that my tone was/is intended as disgust--and no, not for the homeless gentleman, or the waitress, but for myself.

This was about one of those "lightbulb" moments, when ya realize something about yourself you might not particularly like.

I started out disgusted with the waitress, but the fact is, I was the worst culprit of snobbery there. I could have bought that man his own breakfast, and allowed him to retain some dignity, instead of high-handedly feeding him from my plate, as one would a dog. and about that waitress? Again, I was being awfully judgemental considering at that point in my life, I would not deign to scrub a toilet to earn a living. (Now I do that for free--grin--go figger...)

So...just to clear things up (and ethel? you warm my heart by seeing the best in me, too)
But no...I was just a snotty little girl back then.

And thank you all much for letting me "show my warts" so to speak.

Yep. I used to be a real bitch--now? I'm downright sweet in comparison.

to forum.

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