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Open Poetry #25
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gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

0 posted 2003-03-12 07:14 PM



Whimpering towards the floor
pleas absorbed back thru my feet
regardless how high i hold my head
you're choosing the death of us

supporting your bones with thick skin
dismissing your pushes
taking them as punches
kindly handing me back the gaps i filled

wrecked in rage towards life
blackening the holes
that could be your way out of desolate
my efforts branded unreliable

and apparently so is my love.

learning each day, for you and i, our paths have met, i've already learnt that you are love.

© Copyright 2003 gj - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2003-03-12 07:17 PM


ouch...

well done... but ouch...

nice imagery here...strong scenes painted in a few words that the reader may apply to fill in their own gaps

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
2 posted 2003-03-12 09:22 PM


hugs
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
3 posted 2003-03-14 02:02 PM




can be spinned many ways,
but written from the gut, good stuff

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
4 posted 2003-03-14 02:05 PM


Gemma, I hope this isn't from personal experience.
It really hurts. Hope you're okay?

Heart Hugs  
Ethel

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