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Open Poetry #25
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Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

0 posted 2003-03-12 02:21 PM


Through the mists of forgotten the sun now arises
and dragonfly soars to a dawn of surprises
The world is still sleeping and dead to the dawn
While the chirrup of crickets sing a song of forlorn

A song of forlorn as the nighttime now passes
And wind on the run moves the dewdrop kissed grasses
The sun in arise causes mist on this morn
As humans lie sleeping and dead to this dawn

Dead to this dawn as a new world begins
The hope of the morning is in dragonfly's wings
The beauty of nature from man's gifts is shorn
As the sun now arises to dragonflies' dawn

A dragonfly's dawn with the sun half asleep
And the mist from the mountains has  promise to keep
To waft cross this land with a spirit of mourn
As earth in remember sees the song grow forlorn

The song grows forlorn at the waking of man
Who will not hear the wind, but will take what he can
Then the dragonfly song at the waking of dawn
Will echo forever, in a world that is torn

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



© Copyright 2003 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
1 posted 2003-03-12 02:25 PM


I don't know what this format is called... but I do know you've executed it with perfection! *S*
This is wonderful, Keth... I love the subject, love the rhyme scheme... love the way you've woven it flawlessly!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2003-03-12 02:25 PM


Kethry
A sad flight, but a good write.

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2003-03-13 08:26 PM






(big hugggsssssss) And that is probably we only see dragonflies half of the year, and it makes me wonder where they go when it's all cold! (sad sigh) This is powerful, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kethry, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Amara
Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 158
East of the moon, west of the sun.
4 posted 2003-03-13 09:39 PM


Wonderful metaphors, and personifications...and so true. We, as a race, seem to forget and destory all beautiful and treasured things. Perhaps one day we'll hear the 'echo', and realize what we're doing to ourselves and our world.

I really, truly, like this poem. Really.

Blessed Be Thee!
- Stephanie

Every heart has hidden treasures...a secret wish, a silent dream, and a cherished love. [Unknown]

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
5 posted 2003-03-13 10:45 PM


Kethry - no matter what subject you write about you are a magnificent poet///

BC

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
6 posted 2003-03-13 10:56 PM


Beautiful imagery. I loved the way you described dragonflies. Awesome write.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
7 posted 2003-03-13 11:00 PM


Kethry - this is a most captivating write! Enjoyed. Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....
                  
                       -Emily Dickinson

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
8 posted 2003-03-14 01:14 AM


Kethry, I love the way you wrote this with the end of one verse beginning the next verse. Is this called some form of poetry? Whether it is, or not, your writing is superb. I love it...

"Love makes the world go around"
~with love and hugs from Ethel__GG~  
                  

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
9 posted 2003-03-14 04:39 AM


Thanks to everyone who responded, I don't know if poetry type has a form and if so I don't know what it's called I only know it fits me and seemed to fit the things I was saying. For those who think I'm some kind of poet, Thank you from the depths of my heart.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
10 posted 2003-03-14 10:58 AM


this is music

it is solace

and yet

it has a melanchloy to it

beautifully woven!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2003-03-14 02:50 PM


I wish dragonflies were as big as horses and we could ride on them...of course if they were that big they might eat us...James
scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
12 posted 2003-03-14 03:10 PM


Much enjoyed this poem...well done..

believe in what your heart feels...

Etain
Member
since 2003-02-22
Posts 92
The moon...
13 posted 2003-03-14 03:38 PM


Loving!!!
Warm greetings,
Etain.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
14 posted 2003-03-14 04:37 PM


just beautifully sad...sadly beautiful!
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