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Open Poetry #25
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DarkSide_Blues
Junior Member
since 2003-03-08
Posts 41
Fl, Usa.

0 posted 2003-03-09 05:46 PM



It'll probably seem kind of..uh..bleak..But hey..How can you appreciate Life without acknowledging death? This was dedicated to my grandfather, whom kept saying on his death bed, that he was ready to go home.


Age

Melancholy thoughts so dreary,
Blackest night turned to queery,
Eyes of death that I know fear he,
Takes my soul away.

So I run to farther corners,
Past the black clad colored mourners,
To the home town I'm a foreigner,
Chase the break of day.

Know nought I what grimly seeks,
Makes human thoughts and minds so meek,
See a dark hued shadow sleek,
Golden life turned grey.

Run no more as I shall tire,
Spirit lacking the fiery fire,
Death I have grown to admire,
Take me home I say.        

© Copyright 2003 Stephen White - All Rights Reserved
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
1 posted 2003-03-09 05:51 PM


Darkside - never bleak - words from your heart:

Run no more as I shall tire,
Spirit lacking the fiery fire,
Death I have grown to admire,
Take me home I say.        

This is powerful - the ending says it all - we all feel like that sometimes  . . . I will to when that time approaches  

xxoo - TY for sharing  

[This message has been edited by littlewing (03-10-2003 04:26 AM).]

icequeen
Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA
2 posted 2003-03-09 06:03 PM


This is excellent. I like your use of words... not the everyday kind! And I like the scene you set up. I look forward to more of your work!

the only man worth your tears will never make you cry

Connel
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736
Florida, USA
3 posted 2003-03-09 06:30 PM


Stephen, this poem, is.. Well just that good. And just like littlewing said, that ending was very powerful. The words you used were really nice, But im sure some didnt understand. I almost didnt.

Anyone can write, But only poets can capture the heart.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
4 posted 2003-03-09 06:35 PM


Yes the power is in the last line ... when you call it HOME, fear is gone!
Beautiful.
Margherita

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2003-03-09 06:40 PM


enjoyed the meaning and rhyme pattern and for some reason you reminded me of Poe's Raven
*s
M.

Connel
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736
Florida, USA
6 posted 2003-03-09 07:06 PM


Sorry, just forgot to add this to my lib.. Oh, and hurry up and get home man, and then get on icq, lol. I need to talk to ya!

Anyone can write, But only poets can capture the heart.

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
7 posted 2003-03-09 07:27 PM


powerful ending, to be called home.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind.  Unknown



passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
8 posted 2003-03-10 02:11 AM


I think it is wonderful...sad but beautiful
DarkSide_Blues
Junior Member
since 2003-03-08
Posts 41
Fl, Usa.
9 posted 2003-03-10 03:22 AM


Thank you all berry much for your comments. Means alot to me when people actually take the time to read my stuff! ^_^ And lol, I didn't get home till 3:00 A.m. Connel. I'll talk to you on Monday or Tuesday though. Lol XD. Ja ne!
DarkSide_Blues
Junior Member
since 2003-03-08
Posts 41
Fl, Usa.
10 posted 2003-03-10 04:07 AM


just figured out how to use the library. XD lol
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