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Open Poetry #25
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regards2you
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0 posted 2003-03-09 08:44 AM





Residual pine needle's
     picking pain,
catch,
  
in garden sandal's
           mud-caked ache
      of last rites.

Flower beds rest, death to dust,
to rake awake, near spring.

Wintered grief of wait,
     wretched wrinkled tear's
freeze-dried melt,
   run furrows in sorrow's face,
trenched pure, full of grace.

Scattered seeds,
   broadcast breezes of my loss.
Awaken, my dearly departed.

For, you are in all
     greenery sprouted,
and, the essence of
   every bud, bloomed.

In the fragrance of them,
  I'll inhale
     an everlasting you.


    Hurry spring,

     I miss you.

.
.
.
.

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

© Copyright 2003 Patricia L.Thompson - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
1 posted 2003-03-09 08:56 AM



Smiling here...I know Spring is around the corner, because I got my 2003 Spring Poetry Reading Series flyer in the mail!  Wahoo!

Good poem, Pat...still smiling...

hurry, Spring...

regards2you
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since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
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2 posted 2003-03-09 09:34 AM



Karilea,

Thanks for your time. Glad you got your Spring Poetry Reading Series, Wahoo!, I hope his picture is in it. Perhaps, then, this poem might have a little more meaning to you.


Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

sperarifraai
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Ireland
3 posted 2003-03-09 09:37 AM


Enjoyed, good use of language

Sperari

regards2you
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4 posted 2003-03-09 09:44 AM



Sperari,

Thank you. Spring always reminds me of loss and rebirth through nature.
And when I inhale, I do feel his presence, as odd as it might seem.
Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

inkedgoddess
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since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
5 posted 2003-03-09 09:46 AM


liked how you did this, feeling the eternity
and connectedness of all seasons, coming full circle, real insightful, with wisdom

regards2you
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6 posted 2003-03-09 09:50 AM



Michele,

Yes, the connectedness. That word captures so much. Glad you used it, for it seems exact. Thank you for reading and taking the time to reply.

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
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Canada eh.
7 posted 2003-03-09 09:56 AM


"Scattered seeds,
   broadcast breezes of my loss.
Awaken, my dearly departed.

For, you are in all
     greenery sprouted,
and, the essence of
   every bud, bloomed.

In the fragrance of them,
  I'll inhale
     an everlasting you.


    Hurry spring,

     I miss you."

============================================
Quite a sad sense of loss here Pat..
seems to be more than just Spring..
a feeling of melancholy in this write.
Extremely well done..I love your work.
Don't always have to time to respond..
but I try to read each piece you post.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

regards2you
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since 2002-10-01
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8 posted 2003-03-09 10:05 AM




Nancy,

Thank you for reading and responding.
You do so, perhaps more than you realize.

I had hoped the "wretched tears, last rites, and dearly departed" might have been a clue as to more than winter passing into spring.

I appreciate your sensitivity and glad you like my writing.


Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

kaile
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9 posted 2003-03-09 10:54 AM


Pat,
i did raise my eyebrows at "last rites" but was too busy trying to make "wretched wrinkled" sound correct from my mouth and zoomed right past "dearly departed"

guess i'm not very sensitive huh? but i notice and appreciate your alliteration that has come to be a great part of your work

regards2you
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Posts 3940
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10 posted 2003-03-09 12:37 PM



Kaile,

How would that make you insensitive?

"If [wretched wrinkled] tear's,
freeze-dried melt
run furrows in sorrows face,
trenched pure, full of grace"

does not work for you, at least it is an honest read, and I admire you mentioning "wretched wrinkled" is a mouthful for you.

You, as others, have a  choice not to respond at all, if they choose not to bother to read the poem, or don't like it, or whatever, why then reply?  I appreciate critiquing as per box.

Thank you for taking the time to reply to the poem I wrote. And your comment about the words. It is honest and something I can consider and perhaps change.

Again, thank you for taking the time to mention what you did. I believe it to be ~genuinely~  sincere.

  Happy day! I am having one...  


Love and Hugs, Pat  



..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"


[This message has been edited by regards2you (03-09-2003 10:44 PM).]

GG
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since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
11 posted 2003-03-09 04:54 PM


Pat,
sorry for the time it took to get to this, been away. I like this alot, though I'm not sure I want spring.. I connect seasons with life and death too, and that means the changing of the season means I have to face an aching loving wishing kind of memory.. again.
But what this reminded me of most is, the year before my grandma died we planted some Sweet Williams together, every year more and more come, they're beautiful as is this.

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

Mistletoe Angel
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12 posted 2003-03-09 05:03 PM




"Scattered seeds,
   broadcast breezes of my loss.
Awaken, my dearly departed.

For, you are in all
     greenery sprouted,
and, the essence of
   every bud, bloomed."




(big hugggssssssss) Oh Patricia, this is so very heartaching, sweet friend, I too identify love as this mutual understanding and since it has vanished from my heart, I too feel this Albert Circle swallowing the gardens! (sad sigh) I send hugs of hope your way that spring will again blossom and last on and on, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Patricia, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Marshalzu
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13 posted 2003-03-09 05:23 PM


This is such a wonderful and well written poem, thanks for sharing it with us, I really enjoyed the read

Andrew

Connel
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14 posted 2003-03-09 05:25 PM


This one is really nice pat!

Anyone can write, But only poets can capture the heart.

regards2you
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since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
15 posted 2003-03-09 05:42 PM



Alyssa,

I myself was only online a little while early this AM. I understand your grief. I think it would be way too soon for you to expect anything more than the difficulty and heartache you are experiencing at the changing seasons. This particular loss of yours will have been one of the most memorable ones considering your age and her position in your life. It takes much time to develope the senses as projected in this poem. Years, I think, and it is different for each.
That is a precious moment you shared about your Grandma and you planting Sweet Williams together and now they come in thicker each year. I'd love to hear a poem you've written about such when you can....

Heart hugs and love, Pat

Noah,

Thanks, as ever for your notes. Your spring will blossom soon. Hugs.

Andrew,

Thank you for the time and comments.

Connell,

I am glad you liked this one.

Hugs to you all, hope you're having a peace filled Sunday. Pat


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

NewEnglandlazurlu
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since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
16 posted 2003-03-09 06:47 PM


Pat, I love the changing of the seasons and I especially love Spring. I feel like I'm waking up from a long winter's nap and I'm ready to stretch and reach for the sun.

I planted some more seeds today and just holding and smelling the dirt, was pure ecstasy.  

Wonderful piece, hugs ... Marti

Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.

Sunshine
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17 posted 2003-03-09 06:54 PM



I enjoy coming back to re-read poetry...and now I come back to apologize for reading this on only one level, Pat.  Thanks for pointing that out.  I did not give this the time it fully deserved this morning...so I'll make a mental note to give your poetry a bit more time, to catch all of the nuances...

and when I read this aloud?  It becomes very haunting...thank you for that, too...

SmartChick
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18 posted 2003-03-09 08:44 PM


Oh yes! I am ready for spring, too. We got a touch of it just yesterday. But today was a different story.
Martie
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19 posted 2003-03-09 08:51 PM


Pat--Times of  year, sometimes measure the heart beat as well as the weather.  I feel yours here and understand.  Heart hugs to you!
kaile
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20 posted 2003-03-10 12:59 PM


Pat,
just like to say that the part about "wretched wrinkled" isn't meant to be a critique, just a reader's reaction....hope i didn't make you feel bad?

[This message has been edited by kaile (03-10-2003 06:01 AM).]

passing shadows
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displaced
21 posted 2003-03-10 01:37 AM


don't you know it! great write!
regards2you
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22 posted 2003-03-10 09:47 AM



Marti,

Many -we are near spring- poems on-line I noticed. After coming through your devastating illness and harsh N.E. winter, I am sure you are ready for spring. Glad you were able to plant seeds. Our seasons out here are not nearly as dramatic as back east, but I do remember them from childhood.

Karilea,

I am new enough -here- and to poetry writing on a daily basis and to having a computer,(I was the last person I know who didn't have one), that it is still such a treat (like a miracle to me, as corny as it might be to some of you,) to have all three in my life, (all three happened at once) I actually do read the  poetry and think about it and respond to -it- and assume others do, too.

The poems I don't like or don't want to hurt the poet's feelings, especially a newcomer, I don't respond to.

Probably why my reply count is so low, for it is time consuming. I forget this is much more than a poetry reading and writing group.

To quote you: "I'll make a mental note to give ~your~ poetry a bit more time, to catch all the nuances".  Yes, like mine is somehow different than anyone else's ?  Please! All I can ask is "Well...why would you be reading ~any~  poetry and ~replying~ if not for that very reason?"

I'm still thrilled to find a group of poets who share their poetry writing...maybe the novelty will wear off in time.

I wouldn't even mind if you critiqued my poetry, but, I minded when I was very new here, still scared to post, and not even felt welcomed, or comfortable, before, with the 2 or 3rd poem I posted, you wanted a re-write.

I already have a thorn in my side Karilea, I don't need another one.
Spare yourself 20 seconds, and don't read my poetry. That will be a blessing to both of us.

SmartChick and Martie,

Thanks for taking the time to respond.
Kaile,

You didn't make me feel bad, you made me feel good to even mention those two words might be a problem. A readers reaction, without any other motive behind it, is a good thing! I appreciate your response.

I get a line in my head and though it might be good, might not fit in well; one of my weaknesses in poetry writing, I discovered with the writing of my last poem.

This poem came about when I stepped out my back door,(very early morning), slipped on my ruined sandals, still mud-caked, now, officially my "garden sandals" (we have red mud here, that doesn't wash off!) and got an old pine needle stuck in my big toe...that, plus the blossoming trees, and iris....and green vines loaded with lavender flowers at base of fence started this poem. With spring, comes memories...good ones, now....

I must start taking the time to wait and review my poetry before posting to see what improvements I can make..because honestly, I tripped over those words and the beginning lines...and, didn't bother to work on them to change the overall poem for the better.

I appreciate your comments and always have.

Hugs to all of you, even my bratty like little sister, Karilea,  Pat


  


  

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

vandana
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23 posted 2003-03-11 05:09 PM


enjoyed
Pilgrimage
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24 posted 2003-03-11 11:51 PM


Spring is coming. It's hot, then it's cold, then the wind blows me away. That's spring. Good poem.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

littlewing
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25 posted 2003-03-12 01:33 AM



Pat - me too - this is wonderful - xxoo

suthern
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26 posted 2003-03-12 11:48 AM


I enjoyed this very much, regards. *S* Spring is already flirting with us... my swollen eyes are ample evidence that pollen is in the air. *G* The blossoms that have sprung forth from bare branches might still feel the nip of frost... but they are a welcome sight. *S*
regards2you
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Posts 3940
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27 posted 2003-03-13 10:29 AM



Dixie and Vandana,

Thank you, think I missed you earlier in my reply..

Pilgramage (Nan?) Yep! Good description of spring +. Thanks

Littlewing (Sue?)

Thanks for the time and effort and the wonderful and the xxoo, me too!

Ruth,

Glad you enjoyed this very much. I thank  you for your comments. They made me smile. (Something you seem to do quite often.) I appreciate you.

One final note for newcomers. This is a very friendly, loving place of which to be a part.

On very rare occasions, as in life outside this site, there are those with whom we come across and have personality conflicts.

Please disregard the problem with Karilea and myself. It has NOTHING to do with the value and premise of how and why this site began.
  
Though we tried being 'friends' at Christmastime, that just didn't take and life is too short to allow this negativity to blossom.

Ignoring the insensitivity would have allowed it to continue. There are no nuanes in: sorrow's face, death to dust, grief, breezes of my loss, dearly departed, etc. when someone says, Good poem, Pat still smiling, it hurts, period.

Again, thank you all for reading and I'll probably rewrite this for there are a couple of places which don't read smoothly...tho. too late to edit...I have learned a little more about poetry writing.  

Thank you all for your time in reading and the responses. Hugs and love, Pat


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Krawdad
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since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

28 posted 2003-03-13 02:14 PM


An interesting poem and an interesting thread too.
I won't pretend to understand all of your meaning, but that's okay, i can always make something up to fill in the blanks.
We all start out as strangers.

regards2you
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since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
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29 posted 2003-03-13 02:48 PM



Krawdad,

Thank you for taking your time to read and reply.

Glad you find the poem interesting. It is meant to imply that those we loss through death are always with us through life, especially through the spring blossomings of greenery and buds opening. At least, for me.

Interesting thread? Eh! Not my favorite. Nor am I pleased. I am with the genuine replies, if they are not hurtful or mean-spirited, and people make mistakes, but some are patterns not of a positive nature.
  
"We all start out as strangers"  and it would always be my hope to have ended up as friends, but doesn't always work with everyone.

Patterns are interesting, too. I have enough negative in my personal life I need to stop any on-going when I can.
And, I just did! I hope!

What I understand is you took your time to read and reply. I thank you and appreciate it. Sorry if the meaning was unclear, for I often find that in other's poetry myself, but just apply it how best it suits my experiences. Again, thank you.

Hugs, Pat  





  


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

[This message has been edited by regards2you (03-13-2003 10:16 PM).]

Bill Charles
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highways, & byways, for now
30 posted 2003-03-13 10:38 PM


regards2you - I miss it also, and can't wait to feel it's magic. Nice write...

BC

regards2you
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Posts 3940
California
31 posted 2003-03-13 11:08 PM




Bill,

Thanks for reading and your reply.

I miss the sense of renewal and fresh beginnings to sad, though ancient endings. Spring is such a dramatic difference from winter, it is like starting over with many things.
We've have an especially mild winter here, but a cold windy, rainy, snowy front is coming in tonight and for the week-end. Can't imagine what will happens to all the blossoming trees and plants.

Thank you again, for it is magical in many, many ways.  Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

garysgirl
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32 posted 2003-03-14 01:30 AM


Pat, sorry I haven't replied to this before now. I wasn't on-line until late and not on-line much yesterday, either. Our weather around here was really bad thunderstorms, with a lot of lightning and some hail, so I unplugged my computer. Didn't want to take a chance of it going out because of the lightning.

I loved your poem, as always. You put very much meaning into your poetry and that is very good.  I always enjoy reading it.

Heart Hugs,
Ethel  

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (03-14-2003 01:31 AM).]

regards2you
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Posts 3940
California
33 posted 2003-03-14 02:00 AM



Ethel,

Thanks for reading and your reply.
I do try to put meaning into my poetry and feel it, sometimes deeply, if it is about death, which I rarely write about.

Good idea re: lightening storms. We are expecting the same here, and I might unplug mine as well. I also am going to start a medication when I get home Saturday afternoon, which hopefully will knock me out for a week or two....I have been running on very little sleep, and no deep sleep for a very, very long time. I feel and look like a zombie! Tho. the meds aren't for sleeping they have that effect until you get used to them....keep my fingers crossed, they work that way for me. Tho usually meds have opposite effect and I'm likely to be trying to peel myself off the ceiling, instead. Anyway, I might not be on-line myself for a week or so....depending...

Hugs and love, take care, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

passing shadows
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displaced
34 posted 2003-05-31 09:40 PM



Marge Tindal
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35 posted 2003-06-22 05:36 PM


Pat~
(and 'others')
This was such a moving piece for me~

I view the blooming of trees and flowers as a rejuvenation of Spiritual things within me~
At times, we each relate to the birthing of things around us in different ways ... me ? ... I smile joyously and, like you, I enhale the richness of the event~

This is really just so lovely~
You are a very, very talented lady~
You also are 'Spring' ... blossoming~

Keep your head high ... for in that manner, God knows you are gazing at His haven of comfort~

It's my genuine belief that He destined us to me and bond for a lifetime~
Thank you for your prayers and for the beauty of your friendship~

See ... you thought all along that I was helping you ... but, I believe it's maybe the other way around ... I had a calling to show Him how sincere my heart was ... he gave me you to show it to .... I am eternally thankful~
God bless you dearest friend~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

Okay ?

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
   noles1@totcon.com   

passing shadows
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displaced
36 posted 2004-05-16 08:54 PM


a great one for this time of year!
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