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Open Poetry #25
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Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
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Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

0 posted 2003-03-08 11:55 PM


Twilight And You

as the sun
fades down from
gold and the house
ticks loud in the
twilight,
I can tell
myself
it's harder
to ignore the
walls' laughter
than a random
thought of
you.
I could turn
something on,
anything,
even the
microwave,
to drown it,
listen hard
to the book
I'm reading;
but it hangs
there
filling
every pause,
swells
persistent as
tinnitus
while I click on
a lamp,
still lingering
damp
like the
little chill
across my
shoulder
just where your
hand
would leave a
casual caress,
the coolness
waiting
where your
voice would be,
that even the
furnace
can't
dispell.

[This message has been edited by Ratleader (03-09-2003 10:50 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved
Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
1 posted 2003-03-09 12:29 PM


Ed...I like this because it's so personal and deep feeling, almost to an ache.  It touches a place that I understand.     
ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
2 posted 2003-03-09 12:42 PM


hard to ignore the aura of a room filled with
past personal experiences, isn't it?...nice reflection


JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
3 posted 2003-03-09 01:43 AM


Nice writing...James
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2003-03-09 01:44 AM


yeah...a great write
Wind
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Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

5 posted 2003-03-09 11:31 AM


Wow, that was haunting. (trust me though, my washing machine can drown out thought itself. So if you are trying to ignore something, I'll send it over there to you)

the Wind is invisible.
        remeber me

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
6 posted 2003-03-09 11:59 AM


Oh...this lingered in exquisite yearning.
Wonderful images. ThisDiamond

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2003-03-09 12:09 PM



Only someone who suffers from,
or knows someone who suffers from,
tinnitus,
would know how to explain it,
let along write of it...

good job, Ed...very good...

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

8 posted 2003-03-09 01:45 PM


You set the stage and image so beautifuly.
Eric

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
9 posted 2003-03-09 03:00 PM




ed,

"Listen hard to the book I'm reading"

Like that as well as entire poem.

There are those times when I can't get that certain someone out of my mind...
no matter the distractions...

Enjoyed, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
10 posted 2003-03-09 05:27 PM


Indeed.
icequeen
Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA
11 posted 2003-03-09 05:31 PM


This hurts so good.
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
12 posted 2003-03-09 05:33 PM


Very enjoyable poem, the yearning is felt.
Margherita

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
13 posted 2003-03-10 05:47 PM


Hello Ed

This one was so different from the last one I read but I enjoyed it nonetheless.  Once again the images were fabulous.

Take care......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
14 posted 2003-03-10 10:39 PM


hugssss, I know the ache this seems to let off....
Lauren~

Take me where the tides start
So I can pull you into me

Aceo Fathi
Junior Member
since 2003-03-02
Posts 17
Anchorage, AK
15 posted 2003-03-10 10:54 PM


This is very good. My brother could drown out thoughts right now, but, you know, I can't exactly send him over.

I learned how to write from a friend of mine. Sometimes I think the student has surpassed the teacher :darklol:

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

16 posted 2003-03-11 12:24 PM


Those quiet times not always peaceful are they? Enjoyed the string of conscience.
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
17 posted 2003-03-11 02:39 AM


Rat - ahhhhh - this one hit me - was utter beauty - haunting - but lovely . . .  xxoo
BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
18 posted 2003-03-11 01:22 PM


Sad longings, and I understand completely.
Good job of writing!

Deb

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