A Need Overwhelming - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #25

A Need Overwhelming

Dragon Mistress
Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 289
Washington, USA.

0 posted 2003-03-08 01:47 AM

~I got an opinion from a dear one, and he said that the ending of this one seemed a bit rushed, or too heavy. Like I wanted to detail it, but only words pooped out. What do you think?

A Need Overwhelming
3/7/03

The need for you
Has flooded my senses

I long to touch
To taste
To breathe you in

My eyes hurt
With a need to see you
My ears long
To hear your voice so

My senses scream
For their needs to be fulfilled
By you

My need for you
Has overwhelmed the senses

~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2003-03-08 02:03 AM

great! a longing felt, an urgency/edge...liked it

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

2 posted 2003-03-08 02:29 AM

Dragon - you have an amazing life of writing ahead of you - xxoo

sea_of_okc
Senior Member

since 1999-06-15

Posts 568
Oklahoma City, OK, USA

3 posted 2003-03-08 02:46 AM

I don't know that greater detail would express the emotions any clearer. I felt it just as it is.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.