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Open Poetry #25
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Down At Harry's Bar
| Open Poetry #25 |
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Down At Harry's Bar |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA 
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There’s a shiver in her hands she can’t control and a quiver to her voice that makes it roll Kentucky bourbon behind her lips Nicotine on her fingertips She’s a regular down at Harry’s Bar Her hair’s bleached into yellowed fuzz I don’t think she knows what color it was Every Friday she goes and gets it washed before she heads downtown to get sloshed On a barstool down at Harry’s Bar She says she used to have a beautiful face But time came and filled that space Livin’ inside an eighty-proof haze Her eyes have seen better days Outside the lights down at Harry’s Bar Hey Harry I got an empty glass – And tell that band to get off their ass! I wanna dance before I go home Even if I gotta do it all alone, cause I’m the best dancer down at Harry’s Bar Harry gives her a drink for the road Calls the cabby for his Friday night load while she dances one all alone whirls around all bourbon - stoned She’s a regular down at Harry’s Bar Don't we all know her?  |
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| © Copyright 2003 Caroline Rush Markham - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Hi Icequeen! Liked this - it reminds me of a bar in Mexico called "Harry's Bar," and a Joni Mithcell song. Core |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
icequeen - sounds like a place I knew, nice write... BC |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
Thanks Corrine and BC Seems like there is always one of those regulars in all those small bars lol I used to tend bar in places like that. I remembered one woman in particular who used to yell at the bartenders and dance by herself cause no one would dance with her. She was something else! I have never been to Mexico Corrine... bet it is fun though! the only man worth your tears will never make you cry |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Ice - nice - yes we do - know one too many |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
yep! nice write! |
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sweetwater Member
since 2002-12-16
Posts 178Perth |
liked this.. yep I grew up in bars (may parents owned them) and there's always someone like you describe.. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Interesting...James |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
Thanks all for the reads  At least when I see those kinds of people I know my life isn't nearly as bad as I thought it was. There but for the Grace of God... the only man worth your tears will never make you cry |
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ivordavies Senior Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 739Chester, England |
Caroline, I've been looking through your posts as I like to know a little more about the people who take the time to respond to my poetry. This piece is rather poignant, why do I feel you had somebody, who should be close, in mind when you wrote it? I am not a fan of none rhyming poetry so what I am going to say may be biased to my preference , but I think not. There is something in the style of this write that makes it real and I think that 'rhyming' seems to be the medium that you carry your heart best with. This five line poetry with a repetitive theme carried on the extra line each stanza is extremely powerful but has to written well or it does not work. You have done this expertly, and naturally. One of you posts (or maybe more) talks about a loss of muse, which you write about (a theme I have used in several of my writes and I know the feeling well). I am sure that with the quality of this piece, to the extent I 'feel' it is real, that using rhyme as a medium would allow the words to flow freely without having to think of what you are writing. As I said, I am possibly biased, if so ignore the ramblings of an old rhyming poet! I do think however that this piece had, feeling, meaning, and came from within yourself and hope to find more like it. Thanks again for your response on my work, Ivor |
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