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Passions in Poetry

Down At Harry's Bar

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icequeen
Senior Member
since 12-09-2001
Posts 649
FL USA


0 posted 03-07-2003 10:45 PM       View Profile for icequeen   Email icequeen   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for icequeen


There’s a shiver in her hands she can’t control
and a quiver to her voice that makes it roll
Kentucky bourbon behind her lips
Nicotine on her fingertips
She’s a regular down at Harry’s Bar

Her hair’s bleached into yellowed fuzz
I don’t think she knows what color it was
Every Friday she goes and gets it washed
before she heads downtown to get sloshed
On a barstool down at Harry’s Bar

She says she used to have a beautiful face
But time came and filled that space
Livin’ inside an eighty-proof haze
Her eyes have seen better days
Outside the lights down at Harry’s Bar

Hey Harry I got an empty glass –
And tell that band to get off their ass!
I wanna dance before I go home
Even if I gotta do it all alone, cause
I’m the best dancer down at Harry’s Bar

Harry gives her a drink for the road
Calls the cabby for his Friday night load
while she dances one all alone
whirls around all bourbon - stoned
She’s a regular down at Harry’s Bar

Don't we all know her?
© Copyright 2003 Caroline Rush Markham - All Rights Reserved
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


1 posted 03-07-2003 10:53 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

Hi Icequeen!

Liked this - it reminds me of a bar in Mexico called "Harry's Bar,"
and a Joni Mithcell song.

Core
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 07-11-2000
Posts 11011
highways, & byways, for now


2 posted 03-07-2003 11:04 PM       View Profile for Bill Charles   Email Bill Charles   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Bill Charles

icequeen - sounds like a place I knew, nice write...

BC
icequeen
Senior Member
since 12-09-2001
Posts 649
FL USA


3 posted 03-07-2003 11:14 PM       View Profile for icequeen   Email icequeen   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for icequeen

Thanks Corrine and BC

Seems like there is always one of those regulars in all those small bars lol

I used to tend bar in places like that. I remembered one woman in particular who used to yell at the bartenders and dance by herself cause no one would dance with her. She was something else!

I have never been to Mexico Corrine... bet it is fun though!

the only man worth your tears will never make you cry

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


4 posted 03-07-2003 11:42 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing


Ice - nice - yes we do - know one too many  
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


5 posted 03-08-2003 02:18 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

yep! nice write!
sweetwater
Member
since 12-16-2002
Posts 191
Perth


6 posted 03-08-2003 02:44 AM       View Profile for sweetwater   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sweetwater

liked this.. yep I grew up in bars (may parents owned them) and there's always someone like you describe..
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


7 posted 03-08-2003 04:08 AM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Interesting...James
icequeen
Senior Member
since 12-09-2001
Posts 649
FL USA


8 posted 03-08-2003 07:46 AM       View Profile for icequeen   Email icequeen   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for icequeen

Thanks all for the reads

At least when I see those kinds of people I know my life isn't nearly as bad as I thought it was. There but for the Grace of God...

the only man worth your tears will never make you cry

ivordavies
Senior Member
since 01-10-2007
Posts 735
Chester, England


9 posted 01-31-2007 08:20 PM       View Profile for ivordavies   Email ivordavies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ivordavies

Caroline,

I've been looking through your posts as I like to know a little more about the people who take the time to respond to my poetry.

This piece is rather poignant, why do I feel you had somebody, who should be close, in mind when you wrote it?

I am not a fan of none rhyming poetry so what I am going to say may be biased to my preference , but I think not.

There is something in the style of this write that makes it real and I think that 'rhyming'  seems to be the medium that you carry your heart best with.  This five line poetry with a repetitive theme carried on the extra line each stanza is extremely powerful but has to written well or it does not work.

You have done this expertly, and naturally.  One of you posts (or maybe more) talks about a loss of muse, which you write about (a theme I have used in several of my writes and I know the feeling  well).  I am sure that with the quality of this piece, to the extent I 'feel' it is real, that using rhyme as a medium would allow the words to flow freely without having to think of what you are writing.

As I said, I am possibly biased, if so ignore the ramblings of an old rhyming poet!  I do think however that this piece had, feeling, meaning, and came from within yourself and hope to find more like it.

Thanks again for your response on my work,

Ivor
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