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Open Poetry #25
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icequeen
Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA

0 posted 2003-03-07 08:34 PM



A picture of the past,
a jack-in-an-old-box
holding twenty years
of letters and poems
takes me by surprise.
The room where I sit
cross-legged on the floor
becomes the room where
we last breathed together:

Your breaths were slow,
deep and strained,
the air of a liar
filling your lungs
as you struggled
to speak the truth
you’d kept away from me
for so long.
My breaths were screaming,
gasping and choking
on your confession.
You knew how deep I was in
but you let me fall
onto your bed of lies
while a young heart
rested in your care, trusting.
The way you looked at me
was only the reflection of
my own eyes –
but I didn’t know it.
And I stood in the doorway
after a rainy, sleepless night,
and watched you drive home
to her.

When I turned to go in,
I was sitting
cross-legged on the floor
while your picture
burned in the ashtray
and I noticed
its raining tonight.

© 2003/ice

© Copyright 2003 Caroline Rush Markham - All Rights Reserved
Etain
Member
since 2003-02-22
Posts 92
The moon...
1 posted 2003-03-07 08:41 PM


Heartfelt, this is beautiful.
Warm hugs,
Etain.

[This message has been edited by Etain (03-07-2003 08:41 PM).]

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
2 posted 2003-03-07 08:47 PM




IceQueen,

Oh my. Many will relate to this well written, heartfelt, gut-wrenching poem.

I liked:

"The way you looked at me,
was only the reflection of,
my own eyes."

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

icequeen
Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA
3 posted 2003-03-07 08:47 PM


thank you very much for reading, Etain... it is raining yet again here tonight and I guess it is getting to me
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
4 posted 2003-03-07 08:48 PM


There is not only melancholy in this poem, there is also power.
I love it.
Margherita

icequeen
Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA
5 posted 2003-03-07 08:49 PM


oops missed you Pat! Thanks muchly
Funny how sometimes one can see so much and still be blind.

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

6 posted 2003-03-07 08:51 PM


'I was sitting
cross-legged on the floor
while your picture
burned in the ashtray
and I noticed
its raining tonight.'

Like the image...

icequeen
Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA
7 posted 2003-03-07 09:00 PM


Thanks, Margherita and Duncan   I appreciate the reads!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2003-03-07 09:25 PM



Good lord...
I could have written this...
but you did,
and for that...
bless your heart...
I know, I know...

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
9 posted 2003-03-07 09:43 PM


They say a picture is worth a thousand words, well your words just painted a thousand pictures! I have a lump in my throat after reading this!---and the rain added to the atmosphere of sadness...

Warm hugs,
EA

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

10 posted 2003-03-07 09:46 PM


The room where I sit
cross-legged on the floor
becomes the room where
we last breathed together:

Your breaths were slow,
deep and strained,
the air of a liar
filling your lungs
as you struggled
to speak the truth
you’d kept away from me
for so long.
==============================


the air of a liar
filling your lungs



whoa...that is one powerful personification..this whole write aches off the page. Emotive writing poetess i/q
well done!!

    
peace & poetry

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
11 posted 2003-03-07 10:07 PM


I like the whole of the closure in this!
The burning ash tray works.

Nicely done icequeen~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
12 posted 2003-03-08 03:15 AM


yaknow...I don't think you even realize how close to home this hit...thanks for the read
icequeen
Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA
13 posted 2003-03-08 07:32 AM


Thanks Sunshine Coming across that photograph has had me shook up for weeks..I had to get it out. But ya know, this is the first time I've written ANYTHING in months. Last nite I posted two and I'm working on one more. Ahhh sweet release huh? LOL

EA- bless you dear... the rain worked right in.. it was actually pouring down outside while I wrote.

Janet, coming from you who can make me cry, laugh, swoon, and wish to God I had your talents.... I'm humbled!

Thanks Blues! I didn't actually burn the real photo hehehe (I never destroy photographs) Instead I stuck it in an envelope with a note that said "You forgot this" and I mailed it to him yesterday....ha ha ha ha ha

Shadows - there is actually a twist to it...it was my first love telling me he had a fiancee in another town. He married her the next year and they lived happily ever after. Sorry that you can relate to this though, dear. It bites, doesn't it? No one should be treated that way.

the only man worth your tears will never make you cry

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