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Open Poetry #25
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Marshalzu
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0 posted 2003-03-06 06:01 PM


Short Shots in the dark


The Product of Strict Editing.

Think how freedom feels,
Pretend that you believe
that you can feel that free.

24/11/02

Lets Escape.

I fake my death
you should as well
it’s quite easy
and I should know
I’m faking yours too.

8/12/02


Bitter.

Don’t say that she is sweet
‘cause she wreaks of vanity.

December 2002


Poem Written in the light of a drunken night in a silent dark room.

In the dark,
I focus on the light.

22/02/03



My Violent Bedtime Stories

[This message has been edited by Marshalzu (03-06-2003 06:11 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved
Amara
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since 2003-02-23
Posts 158
East of the moon, west of the sun.
1 posted 2003-03-06 07:21 PM


I, for one, am usually partial to longer poems, but these are nice! I do think the last is more of a saying than a poem, though. But nice!

That's what we, as heroes, do. We live as if the world were like it should be, to show the world what it could be.

Phantom Poet
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since 2003-03-03
Posts 116
Arizona USA
2 posted 2003-03-06 07:31 PM


Enjoyed your write!! and thoughts!!
         >>phantom poet<<

1slick_lady
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since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
3 posted 2003-03-07 04:20 AM


loved them...

"Lets Escape.

I fake my death
you should as well
it’s quite easy
and I should know
I’m faking yours too.

8/12/02"


omg you are cracking me up...this by far was my fav...thank you...helen



regards2you
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since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
4 posted 2003-03-07 07:27 AM



I think this is the first of your poetry I've read.

I went to your website listed above and read a couple of those. Very good poetry. Have you posted any here, and I've just missed seeing them?

Enjoyed, Pat




..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Marshalzu
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5 posted 2003-03-07 07:27 AM


Thank you for the replies, I know they are not nearly as good as some of my other work but I was inspired by a local poet who I have been reading, he had quite a few short poems so I thought I would give them a try. Once again thanks for the comments they really are appreciated
Cpat Hair
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6 posted 2003-03-07 07:30 AM


Lets Escape.

I fake my death
you should as well
it’s quite easy
and I should know
I’m faking yours too.

8/12/02
yep..have to agree... my favorite of the offering... enjoyed this..and all.. a great deal..


Marshalzu
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7 posted 2003-03-07 07:33 AM


quote:
went to your website listed above and read a couple of those. Very good poetry. Have you posted any here, and I've just missed seeing them?


I've posted a few in Open but not many, normally I post in teen but I've sort of moved over here now . Just wondering but did you find my website easy to navigate as I have had some trouble with it?

Thanks for replying

Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

8 posted 2003-03-07 10:11 PM


I liked them all, but I prefer the first two. These are very cool.

Kielo

I know only one thing, and that thing is that I know nothing.

passing shadows
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9 posted 2003-03-08 03:12 AM


cool stuff! enjoyed them a lot!
Skyfire
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10 posted 2003-03-08 06:59 AM


Wow, I didn't expect to see you in here I must say that I did like these... short seems to work with you for some reason. I got the feeling that these were all written while you were emotional and / or bitter, and I like the product of that. You use a lot of... I dunno, dark imagery / emotions maybe it is? Whatever it is, I like it, and I'd like to see more.  The more I reread these, the more I like the way you work with short poems.  The more it seems to suit you, probably because you're not using lots and lots of descriptions, but rather getting straight to the point of what you want to say.  Bravo, my friend, I think you may have found one of your niches.  I am truly impressed with these.

Sometimes you find a friend where once there wasn't one. Sometimes you find a love where once there was a friend.

Mistletoe Angel
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11 posted 2003-03-08 05:31 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Yes, the light is where we should all focus upon and use the token to reflect the light across that room! (sigh) I am happy to see you posting in Open, sweet friend, I've seen Teen and it can be so quiet there, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Andrew, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton


"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (03-08-2003 05:32 PM).]

JamesMichael
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12 posted 2003-03-08 06:05 PM


Enjoyed...james
Marshalzu
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13 posted 2003-03-09 08:11 AM


Thank you for the replies
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