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Open Poetry #25
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Saxoness
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Texas

0 posted 2003-03-06 03:09 AM


I.
I am never naked enough for you,
body never perfect.
I strip down in the dark, and
your fingers skip over the imperfect places
that do not fit your polluted view
of what I should feel like.

My arms are not soft enough,
my breasts too limp.
You gain no pleasure from
prickly legs or unwaxed
places. You brace
your clammy arms over me,
close your eyes as you picture someone else:
a magazine model, an ex girlfriend,
or maybe the woman at work who is still
a challenge to your ego.

Afterwards, you put a pillow between us,
tell me you’re too hot to hold me,
too tired to talk, too much of a man
to allow me comfort for not being
the fantasy you envisioned.  
Before falling asleep, you remind me
to lock the door on the way out.
I refuse to cry until I step
back into my own apartment.

II.

Today you told me your mother is not beautiful.
We were talking of female beauty,
and you gave your opinion freely
as if you were an expert on the subject.
Suddenly I missed my Mother.
My Mother is beautiful, I said, and when you paused
in your explanation of standards, I offered:
your Mother is beautiful, too.
You laughed then, a deep gut wrenching
explosion that sounded like denial.

"My Mother is not beautiful.
Her teeth are yellow,
she’s old and wrinkled,
never wears makeup. Oh,
maybe once
when she was younger she was pretty,
but not anymore.  No.  
She is no longer beautiful."

I cry for your mother.  
She is wholly woman, birthing you
from her body, feeding you from her flesh,
giving her youth to a hollow child.
If she knew what sort of man you were,
a plant rooted to nothing but topsoil,
her womb would weep for it’s fruit gone sour.

III.

You think I am in love with you.
This time when we argue,  
I demand you look at me.
I will not sit quietly while you play like a child.
I will not rub your back when you turn away from me.  
I will not sacrifice myself
to your selfish desire for another caretaker.  

I will shout until God himself can hear me.
In your room,
words cultivate in conceited ears,
and you expect me to listen as you tell me
what I "really" think.
The love I have for you grows like weeds,
choking out the flowers
until all that’s left is a heart full of briars.
Has no one ever left you?

IV.

I stopped shaving seven days ago.
I will not become hairless for you.
I will no longer remove the parts of me
you would prefer vacant.  I know better
than you do what makes me a woman.
When you walk away, I will erase your footsteps,
sweep over them with branches of cedar,
and plant myself deeply into the earth.

I will spread the message of womanhood
to those who may fall into your path.
I will rescue my sisters from being uprooted
and implanted to fertilize your fantasies.  
I will comfort those who are weed-eaten, weak,
and wasting away in your barren,
soulless garden.

I am perfection.  
My short legs and soft stomach
were not created for you,
my shoulders aren’t rounded to fit your hands,
and the hair on my body grows thick and
strong, keeping you away like a talisman.
I am a woman. I am the earth.
Rejoice in the flowering of my spirit.

I will not wilt.                                              


"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."
                                

[This message has been edited by Saxoness (03-06-2003 03:12 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Angela Erin Burke - All Rights Reserved
sweetwater
Member
since 2002-12-16
Posts 178
Perth
1 posted 2003-03-06 03:19 AM


oh wow! this is amazing! At first I thought 'No, don't let him rule you' and then I saw the strength emerge, you truly are a woman, and a beautiful one at that! Thankyou.. loved it!

Peace

[This message has been edited by sweetwater (03-06-2003 08:45 AM).]

Temptress
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Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
2 posted 2003-03-06 03:20 AM


You know. This is EXACTLY what I needed tonight, Bee! You have a wonderful poetic power. I think you know that. Thank you for being an inspiration. This will be the first one in here so far I've voted on. Awesome.

SARCASM BREEDS A BROKEN HEART, and I  have enough cracks. Please stop breaking me!

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
3 posted 2003-03-06 03:32 AM


damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn this is so good...i feel as if i have bitten into a mint...WOW !!!...helen
KristieSue
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since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460
PA, US
4 posted 2003-03-06 03:57 AM


I have never read anything that affected me more at the moment...  You said it wonderfull and have a beautiful edge on the view...

any mother, no matter the age or the wear, is beautiful...

Thank you for putting your feelings down here...

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
5 posted 2003-03-06 06:34 AM


wow, love this.
left somewhat speechless, but love it.

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

6 posted 2003-03-06 07:39 AM


damned fine writing... and such an insight and commentary on so much... got my vote...

geez..... I truly don't know how to respond to this without writing a book...

best I have seen of yours and the honesty in it absolutely wonderful...


sweetwater
Member
since 2002-12-16
Posts 178
Perth
7 posted 2003-03-06 08:45 AM


I had to reply again so I could add this to my library
Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
8 posted 2003-03-06 09:00 AM


I am literally speechless! You knocked the wind "write" out of me! You ARE a WOMAN and we heard you R-O-A-R!
He may not realize it yet, but the day you left was the worst day of his life!
To every woman, you are a sister! To every mother, you are a daughter! To every female, you are a friend! You, my Dear One are VERY
special and I am glad  that you are finally waking up to that fact! You now own your personal power---and there ain't nothing that can stop you now! You rock, sister!

I suppose you might gather that I liked this phenomenal write---well, you'd actually be underestimating my feelings regarding your poetic expose! I absolutely LOVE it---and the heart of its creator!!!

Biggest, hugest hugs for a real woman who has come into her own,

Earth Angel

[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (03-06-2003 09:02 AM).]

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
9 posted 2003-03-06 11:50 AM


i didnt want that to end. write some moooore! beautiful wise lady, yer great! an inspirational uplifting poem.
its in my library. xxxxxxxx

learning each day, for you and i, our paths have met, i've already learnt that you are love.

Sunkissed
Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610

10 posted 2003-03-06 12:12 PM


Whoa... sorry that I didn't vote for this earlier.  This one is a keeper!

Fantastic.

Sunkissed.

"I have to hurry past the moon...to Jupiter..."

Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
11 posted 2003-03-06 12:30 PM




YAY!!! YOU GO GIRL!!! (big hugggsssssss) NEVER...EVER...let anyone make you believe that you are ugly, for you are beautiful because you are you and that is all that matters, always hold Maya Angelou's words "Phenominal Woman" close to your heart, because true beauty is inside of you and I think those failed to recognize that! (smiles) God Bless You, sweet friend, this wonderful piece MUST to be in the book, I proudly vote for this and wish I could do so three times or more, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Angela, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

garysgirl
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Florida, USA
12 posted 2003-03-06 03:41 PM


Goodness, this is good...it says what every other woman on earth should want to say....Wish I had read it earlier.....

You go, girl!!!!!!

Hugs,
Ethel

BlueEyes
Member
since 2002-08-30
Posts 152
TX, USA
13 posted 2003-03-06 03:55 PM


this has got to be the most amazing piece of work that I have ever read. And I'm not just saying that because I am a woman and am also tired of forcing myself to be what men think is beautiful.

Excellent write, and I, too, wished it would've lasted longer!

BlueEyes

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
14 posted 2003-03-06 04:06 PM


There are not words to express the power behind this write.  Truly brilliant.

You have moved me.

Susan

wandering glider
Senior Member
since 2001-04-04
Posts 501
aloft
15 posted 2003-03-06 04:56 PM


REAL, strikingly REAL!
good work

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
16 posted 2003-03-06 05:04 PM


Absolutely! You said it all right here!

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Nan
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since 1999-05-20
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Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
17 posted 2003-03-07 07:44 AM


I like your spirit, Angela... Believe in YOU... You're worth it...
Marshalzu
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since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
18 posted 2003-03-07 08:22 AM


Wow, this is such a powerful poem, I had two or three reads of it and it still hit me, thank you for sharing this with us
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
19 posted 2003-03-07 08:45 AM


OMG!!!  This just blew me away!!
Excellent write here Angela...
and believe me...YOU are worth it!
~A Hugs and a Vote~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
20 posted 2003-03-07 11:00 AM


an exceptional write...one I wish I could have written.
*s
M

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
21 posted 2003-03-07 12:19 PM



A BTTT for you, my girl...

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
22 posted 2003-03-07 12:29 PM


Powerful and real...and a vote!
bsquirrel
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23 posted 2003-03-07 12:49 PM


Time for a break-up, I believe.

Loved this.

Susan Caldwell
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since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
24 posted 2003-03-07 01:42 PM


Back up!!
Moonlight Romeo
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The heart of you
25 posted 2003-03-07 02:31 PM


This reminds me of Plath or Sexton at their best.  Profound and from the soul.  

Well done.  Thank you.

What light through yon window breaks?  It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

diphycue
New Member
since 2002-10-28
Posts 8
Rolla, Missouri, USA
26 posted 2003-03-07 03:04 PM


Very good poem, touching.  Of course I have a feeling I know who this was written about, and in a way I pity him.  One way because of how you see him, and another because he obviously doesn't appreciate you enough, or at least doesn't allow you to see it.  I would like to hear his reply to this though, see how the jerk defends himself.
BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
27 posted 2003-03-07 03:55 PM


This is remarkable, and so are you.

Deb

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
28 posted 2003-03-08 03:45 AM


Good Lord - this is THE best thing I have read in a long time - amen to that - quite amazing and geez I have the chills over here - Excellent!!!!  xxoo
passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
29 posted 2003-03-08 03:47 AM


enjoyed this...
sea_of_okc
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since 1999-06-15
Posts 568
Oklahoma City, OK, USA
30 posted 2003-03-08 05:12 AM


Excellent! If one cannot see the very apparent beauty in you then they do not deserve you. Truly you are woman!
ROARRRRRRRRRR with pride lady!

JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
31 posted 2003-03-08 05:23 AM


A fabulous expression of who you are...one of your best...James
diphycue
New Member
since 2002-10-28
Posts 8
Rolla, Missouri, USA
32 posted 2003-03-09 01:20 AM


back up to the top where it belongs

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
33 posted 2003-03-09 10:14 PM


An absolutely amazing write


Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley
34 posted 2003-03-10 06:47 PM


Amazing write. I truly hope this makes it into the book.
Sandpiper
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since 2002-06-15
Posts 738
land of flora and fauna
35 posted 2003-03-12 08:57 AM


BRAVO...STANDING OVATION!!!!!

"And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul."
Pablo Neruda

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

36 posted 2003-03-12 10:20 AM


You are indeed beautiful and this is one of the best poems I've read in ages. I know how long it must have taken and what it must have taken for it to be composed and I, for one am awed.
catalinamoon
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The Shores of Alone
37 posted 2003-03-12 10:27 PM


Amazing. I am speechless.
Sandra

Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
38 posted 2003-03-13 11:45 AM


This is truly what every woman should say or would wish to say and I do applaud you in this writing, I hope it gets into the book.

           
R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Aretha Franklin  

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
39 posted 2003-03-13 12:55 PM



I have not seen much of your poetry but I do remember one you wrote with the title of something Black/Blue (?)

I loved it, and this is even better were that possible.

I enjoy the spirit in this! Hurray for you...

Both poems should be up for the book and I would definitely vote for each.
You've a unique talent which I thoroughly enjoy and I am going to search for other poetry of yours.

It will be a treat, no doubt.

Thank you, enjoyed greatly,

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
40 posted 2003-03-15 11:31 PM


This is just amazing. I'm literally speechless. Just please know, this is simply excellent!!
kaile
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singapore
41 posted 2003-03-20 12:36 PM


i want to vote!
paladin
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Pensacola,Fl.
42 posted 2003-03-20 07:16 AM


I love these poems that reveal the mystery that is woman.

paladin

....a knight without armor

suthern
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Louisiana
43 posted 2003-03-20 10:05 AM


I don't know what I expected from the title... but I know I didn't expect to be completely blown away and left in jaw-dropped admiration... this is powerful... it's perfect... it takes us from wondering why we put up with the little abuses that eat away at our soul to applauding the strength shown at the end. If I could vote over and over again, I would! WOW!!
Eromyna
Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA
44 posted 2003-03-20 11:32 AM


*grinning broadly* You tell 'em!
You're my hero for the day.

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

kayjay
Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
45 posted 2003-03-20 02:19 PM


I can only add my applause to the cogent comments phrased above.  This is a strong and beautiful write;  may you alway stand so strongly for yourself as a woman and a human.  Ken J

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
46 posted 2003-03-21 12:33 PM


This is absolutely fabulous writing, you penned emotions with such power. You send a message loud and clear, that beauty lies within the soul, not on the surface of anyone. I loved this poem, and I pray it makes it into reflections.

Sometimes we have to follow a stronger voice, even if it's silent.



kaile
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singapore
47 posted 2003-03-22 02:24 AM


this needs more votes!
Chanson
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since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle
48 posted 2003-03-23 06:06 PM


"too much of a man
to allow me comfort for not being
the fantasy you envisioned."


Wow. Too bad he doesn't realize
that the reality of the tangible
is always better than the our
overly-expectant fantasies.

This is a fabulous phrase and it's
ensconced in an equally fabulous
poem, Saxoness.

When you think you have heard it all,
listen more closely.
~Dorene

JP
Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343
Loomis, CA
49 posted 2003-04-08 01:32 PM


Sorry I missed the vote on this. Glad it made it in the book, it is well worth it.

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
Nil Desperandum, Fata viem invenient

Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
50 posted 2003-04-08 02:40 PM


Wish this was a book submission, and as a man, I could only hope to find this kind of strength in a woman.Nice, very nice.
Jason

Jason Lyle
Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438
With my darkling
51 posted 2003-04-08 02:42 PM


Guess it is!, very glad this one is in the book.
Jason

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