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Open Poetry #25
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...six feet
| Open Poetry #25 |
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...six feet |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought 
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You’re six feet under And I’m six feet back. Barred by steel cells Of my existence. And something stops me From the tears. I suppose I now know What a life means. So simply every ounce of flesh of me Could be deleted from the earth. Yet traces of my memories Belongings still... would linger on. I whispered it was okay And you quickly faded out. The dirt ceiling home you have Separates me from the clasp of love. But now I know what life means So I’ll fight and stick it through. But six feet down is awful nice… If it’s me... And Love, not you. - And so it was that time stood still - |
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Phantom Poet Member
since 2003-03-03
Posts 116Arizona USA |
makes one think!! however i found it kept my attention. >>phantom poet<< |
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Brad Majors 
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
Makes you think |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
makes one ache but beautifully so, excellent allysa |
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Thomas119gold Senior Member
since 2002-06-03
Posts 708Biloxi, MS (city by the sea) |
Very nice write makes one think Thomas |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Phantom, glad to keep someones attention I suppose. Hope the thoughts are good. Thank you. Brad, I see you're thinking too, I hope they are good also.. though its not a good poem.. bad cannn lead to better, right? thanks! Aenimal, yes.. ache I think would describe it. Glad you find some beauty there. thank you. Thomas, glad you find it to be nice. Wow You're thinking too? I'm pondering that this thinking plague going around must be caused by something else! Thanks Always, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
painfully good and achingly wonderful |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Alyssa, Well, I cried for you; maybe I am ultra-sensitive. I find this a real heartbreaker...I am so glad to see you writing. Each one of us handles this kind of loss differently. I didn't really grieve and cry for a fiance I lost, one of the few decent humans in my life at that time, who adored and cherished me....like I had NEVER been loved before, until years and years later. I think you wrote this very well as far as form, imagery and concept. Hugs and love, God be with you, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Alyssa, you did really good on this poem. I liked it, though it was sad, it was beautifully written. "Love makes the world go around" |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
inkedgoddess, thank you very much. pain and ache aren't so bad when they are attached to good and wonderful Pat, ohh thank you, but don't cry for me. I hardly do for myself and it doesn't need to be done. It was a long time ago though that my heart broke, so its ok now, took long enoough to be able to write about. But, I understand effects and pain will always be there. It eats you up if you don't grieve, I'm so, so sorry to hear about your fiance. Thank you again. Hugs and love to you God is always Here.Always, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
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KristieSue
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460PA, US |
wow... that is detailed, descriptive, and definitely provokes a deep thinking period. I'm a sap too and had to shed a tear for every person I thought of while reading this.... awesome job...HUGGLES |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Ethel, thank so much. I don't write to make it beautiful, just to clear my mind. But it always honors me that someone would enjoy it. Always, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Kristie, I suppose thinking isn't all bad.. it amazes me you'd find it so great. Thank you very much. I hate to think of someone shedding tears from what I wrote.. but I suppose if they aren't too bad of ones, they may be needed. thank you Always, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
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