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Open Poetry #25
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GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought

0 posted 2003-03-04 10:10 PM



I guess I’m doomed forever to this fake reality
And I’m doomed to find out questions
And to questions every plea.
Buts it’s ok to wonder truth,
Just never go astray.
Walk the path and see the shoulder
But keep walking the right way.

And I guess I’m doomed forever
To this fake reality.
Forever, just this lifetime,
While I live in-sanity.
I’ve peaked to shadow’s spotlight
Spoken volumes of unrest
Questions still keep coming
But I admit it, I digress...

And I guess I’m doomed forever
To this fake reality.
To the stars of day and light of night,
Peculiar sights to see.
But I don’t mind the questions,
Nor the doom for all obscure
It’s just the fakeness of your caring,
And the hands… still never sure.




- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

[This message has been edited by GG (03-04-2003 10:11 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 GG - All Rights Reserved
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
1 posted 2003-03-04 10:48 PM



Alyssa,

"the stars of day and the light of night" can only describe migraine....

the last line threw me....but, I am unskilled at 'reading' poetry insofar as layering and such, and symbolic meanings.

I liked the very powerful, heartfelt poem.

Hugs and love, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
2 posted 2003-03-04 10:55 PM


Pat,
yep, and their pretty stars and light shows, in an underwater beauty drive you crazy and suffocate you kind of way. ...must be in a strange mood, anyway..!

Couldn't figure out how I wanted to form the last line, but I meant it to mean someone who because they don't really care, always hesitates to hold your hand. Saying that bother me more than any migraine could.
Ah ok, bed time for Alyssa.
Thanks for the reply, and don't worry, I've found you to be quiet good at reading into poems. Hugs and love..
Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
3 posted 2003-03-04 11:03 PM



Alyssa,

Thanks for taking the time to explain. I did kind of think that is what you meant about the hands.

Some people simply cannot be demonstrative. My father was one. Very, very reserved. Seems like the ones we need love from the most are the ones who can't give it. It is the way he was raised. Sad!!!

Hope you can sleep. Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

KoKo
Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow
4 posted 2003-03-04 11:32 PM


Wow. I'm breathless. I love this so incredibly much. I'm near tears...oh man...I have to write this down. I can't thank you enough for the move you've created inside of me.

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
--Chang Tzu

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
5 posted 2003-03-04 11:35 PM


All I can manage to say is awesome write.

Cold hands means a warm heart

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2003-03-05 03:04 AM


oooooo, this hit home....
Ringo
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Member Elite
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes
7 posted 2003-03-05 03:24 AM


"I guess I’m doomed forever to this fake reality"

Great line.
Another masterful work

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
8 posted 2003-03-05 07:36 AM


Pat,
thanks for the second reply. Your right, and my father is the same, very businessman like. Complete left sided thinker... but I love him lots! And I know he loves me, even without showing it.

KoKo,
I'm astonished to have left anyone breathless. And with tears, wow, though I hope they aren't sad tears.
I want to see whatever write this inspired of you! wahoo.


Loner,
well what you've said is certainly enough for my thanks and so I give it! Thank you!

Dixie,
I could have guessed it would. Besides, you like anything with sad content and.. most of my poems have that! just take care of yourself, and thank you.

Ringo,
think that was my favorite line too, thats why I said it three times lol. Glad you find it masterful, again, I'm honored! No master at all, thats for sure. Thank you

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

KoKo
Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow
9 posted 2003-03-05 10:27 PM


I loved this peice because of the powerful feeling in it. Or maybe it's my own feelings. I've been here and it definitly stirred up some major emotions. I wrote it down and re-read it about 3 times today. It never gets old. This is a great, great write. Fantastic! I wish you would think about it for the book

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
--Chang Tzu

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
10 posted 2003-03-06 06:25 AM


koko,
wow, I'm stil amazed that you'd like it.. especially so much. Just honored... thanks for the compliments and all

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
11 posted 2003-03-06 12:01 PM


Alyssa,
I was about to act the devil's advocate and ask you how can you be so sure that your reality is fake...the closing lines told me the answer duly...nice work here...kept me on my toes...hee

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
12 posted 2003-03-06 05:03 PM


Kaile,
thank you very much surprising to see you on your toes! lol I would have been ready to answer the questions if you'd played devil's advocate too. Thanks again, for taking the time to read and reply!

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

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