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Open Poetry #25
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regards2you
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since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California

0 posted 2003-03-04 12:38 PM




A soft zephyr,

Blowing beauty breezes.

Wavering wind of want

Over,
   Oceans of only you.

Inhale
My frangrance of feelings

   Sail me spun.

Pleasure my treasure,
Make us sun.

Breath in
My soaring spirit

Shimmer us
Chime of shine.

Please,

Catch me,

In your heart.


Experience

Me,
In our need.
.
.
.


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

[This message has been edited by regards2you (03-04-2003 12:41 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Patricia L.Thompson - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2003-03-04 12:40 PM


light as a breeze..and filled with a call of longing...

very nice Pat.. the form seem to sit well on you...

I enjoyed.


BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
2 posted 2003-03-04 12:43 PM


Sail me spun.

Pleasure my treasure,

I love where your poetry goes~

This is stunning!  Hugs Pat~

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2003-03-04 12:45 PM


This poem is so incredibly everything good and wonderful about poetry, that it catches the wind of my spirit! I'm breathless. Outstanding piece!

Have a glorious day full of everything that brings added joy to your life!

Linda

regards2you
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since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
4 posted 2003-03-04 12:57 PM



Cpat/Ron,

This is my favorite form of writing; seems to come more naturally than rhyming, though those poems are improving somewhat. Still working on alliteration and imagery. Would love every line to reek of it.

Thanks for your comments.

Lori,

Thanks for the stunning. Glad you like it.

Linda,

What can I say? I love "the wind of ~your~ spirit". Glad you like this.
Thanks for the lovely comments.

Thanks you all for taking the time to read and reply.

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2003-03-04 01:16 PM


soft, flowing, lovely
Cpat Hair
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Posts 11793

6 posted 2003-03-04 01:25 PM


Pat... I'm still working on learning how to even write the basics...if I worried about imagery and alliteration in every line..my stuff would reek.. (laughing)

if this is your favorite type of poetry to write..then write it ... I know I enjoyed it..


Phantom Poet
Member
since 2003-03-03
Posts 116
Arizona USA
7 posted 2003-03-04 01:36 PM


Words written well need no critique
>>phantom poet<<

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
8 posted 2003-03-04 01:38 PM



Dixie,

Thanks for reading and your reply.
Hugs, Pat


Cpat/Ron,

I think you have the basics down pat.
I am still such a novice, I suspect, however, too much of a good thing, just might be a little too rich. Yet when I do come up with a good line, I get tickled.

I seriously doubt anything you ever write would ever reek...

My sense of finesse (?) or/and fine-tuning is still in progress, and that is why I so appreciate the comments you make. I get a little impatience with myself, but still feel the happiness of creating.

Thank you so much, Hugs. Pat




..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
9 posted 2003-03-04 02:36 PM


regards - inhale my fragrance of feeling - ahhh yes across the sea - know this feeling all too well - is quite lovely - your words are but ones I wish to write xxoo
Robert Frazier
Senior Member
since 2003-02-06
Posts 1014

10 posted 2003-03-04 02:39 PM


"Experience
Me,
In our need"

what a beautiful thought!

Rf

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
11 posted 2003-03-04 02:58 PM



Phantom Poet,

What a lovely thing to say. Not sure if you were referencing Cpat, or not, but he is my inspiration and my mentor. A master, he is, but he'll never admit it. Though don't apply it necessarily, I learn much from his writing and comments.  Again, thank you for the "words written well"...

Littlewing,

Glad you too, like the "frangrance of feeling"...You wish to write like that?  Read Cpat...smiling here...tsk!
I haven't read you yet, and will make it a point to find your poetry. Thank you for your time and reply. I appreciate your comments.

Robert,

Thanks for reading and the reply.
You know that was not in my original poem. But, while posting this it seemed to write itself. I liked the catch me, in your heart, as the ending, yet were I writing this to someone, it would have to be "in ~our~ need"... Glad I included it and you found the thought beautiful.

Hugs to all of you, Pat


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

12 posted 2003-03-04 03:01 PM


A soft zephyr,

Blowing beauty breezes.

Wavering wind of want

Over,
   Oceans of only you.

Inhale
My frangrance of feelings

   Sail me spun.

Pleasure my treasure,
Make us sun.
=============================

well this is just oh so lovely...feather light and delicate...a very very cool write poetess Pat...Ron is right..this style suits you well...your poetry has grown and its a testament to your love of poetry and how you are putting the effort in to learning and finding inspiration from all that is offered here. very cool

How long have I been dreaming I could make it right ...
If I closed my eyes and tried with all my might
To be the one you need...

J. Browne

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
13 posted 2003-03-04 03:08 PM


Pat..so beautiful..the rhythm just floating down the page.  Enjoyed!  
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
14 posted 2003-03-04 03:11 PM



Janet Marie,

Thanks for taking the time to read this and your comments. You are right, there is much and many to learn from here. However, between Cpat's patient comments and fabulous writing and YOUR comments to Sy's poetry, I have and am learning much about the craft. Unwittingly, you, through your every day comments to Sy taught me how to look for alliteration, imagery, cadence, and more. I so very much appreciate that you take the time you do answering other's poetry. You are indeed a blessing, helping me play catch-up for all the years I didn't write. Not even mentioning what a wonderful poetess you are. A joy to read!

Hugs to you....Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
15 posted 2003-03-04 03:18 PM


wonderful! I like the lines "catch me in your heart" and I like the title. All together, it makes me feel soft and light and loved.. a good feeling
I think you do great with this writing style too.
Enjoyed.

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
16 posted 2003-03-04 03:26 PM


So lovely...like a feather in the breeze..
Yes, you do very well with this style Pat.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
17 posted 2003-03-04 03:32 PM


All dressed up
in a white wind catcher
Regards2 you and me,
Shall set our hand
and souls together
Upon the rolling sea
Away beyond
The edge of the West
Where all of the distance rhymes
And only the sunlighted day
And the moon mirrored night
Survey the tides and times

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
18 posted 2003-03-04 03:54 PM



Martie,

Thanks for your comments. Glad you liked the rhythm...

Alyssa,

Yep, that really was my favorite, the last line of catch me, in your heart.
Glad you liked it and this style.

NancyLee,

Nice you enjoyed. Thanks.

Toerag,


Ohhhh. Poetic you!!! A poem for me? Gee, I feel so special, smiling here, how lovely.

How about this tiny reply:

We'll soar the shimmering sun,
And, snuggle, glow of moon,
I'll sail away with you,
We'll write romantic tunes.


Thank you, you always make me smile.
Hugs, Pat


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

19 posted 2003-03-04 04:03 PM


Pat...thank you so much, that is very sweet of you to say so...I try to take as much pride in my replies as I do my poetry...so your kindness is a reward and treat!!
I will let you in on something...when I came in here...I didnt know what an alliteration was, or that meter had a count..my poetry was beginners rhymes and lacked..Anything I know, it's because I learned it in here from my wise fellow poets and from reading what Nan and Balladeer and the many gifted others here teach us in the Workshops and CA. Most of all from just reading lots of poetry by the masters of pip and keeping a Thesauruses handy and then the other gift was finding endless inspiration from the talent that shares their words from us. There's still so much I dont know..but learning it is half the fun of this place we call poetry land.
thanks again
mothy hugs
jm

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
20 posted 2003-03-04 06:12 PM



Lovely...
I saw dust devils dancing...

Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
21 posted 2003-03-04 08:23 PM


Regards2You~
This is just the loveliest read~
Softly emoted thoughts sent wafting to the parchment~

I catch words-on-the-wind and also blow them softly to others~
Enjoyed this read very much~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com                        

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
22 posted 2003-03-05 09:03 AM



Janet Marie,

Thanks for the additional reply. Very interesting. And thanks for sharing your beginnings here. This is the first time I've been in a group of like minded (poets) people and I quickly became unsure of myself as a poet. I needed to just keep writing, w/o wanting to write like someone else, to convince myself I could write a poem and to find out where my strengths are...(still findg. out)  
So have not buckled down to strick form or other structure yet. I do review the workshop and CA.
Again, thanks for the warm welcome and mothy hugs, smiling, Pat

Karilea,

Dust devils? We must expand your horizons. Look west to the ocean...
Thanks for your reply. Your dust devils dancing must look like spinning snow men, tho.   Thanks, Pat

Marge,

How nice of you to read and reply.
A beautiful poetic reply at that.
Thank you. Lovely of you to say.

Hugs to you all, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
23 posted 2003-03-05 01:53 PM


nice, really nice,
i like how u put it "experience me"
my sentiments exactly........i like to be
experienced, totally, that will make or break the lucky recipient of me.....

Sunshine
Administrator
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
24 posted 2003-03-05 02:05 PM



I grew up on the west coast, Pat...I could envision that, too...

you'd be amazed at how big some of our dust devils get before they're reclassified!  

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
25 posted 2003-03-05 02:08 PM



Michele,

Experience me, in ~our~ [equal] need, I would hope.

Not sure I understand your reply....

but when I make love (a century ago) I make love ~with~ someone not ~to~ them...I don't consider it a challenge or a means of exalting myself...nor, for me, is it a power play.....BUT,
to each his own and perhaps "make or break the lucky reciprient" is more into the lust category...truly okay with me.... just not what I meant this poem to portray. But, I myself always view poems from my slant. Like your honesty.


This is meant as simple love making...

Hugs Pat  



..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

[This message has been edited by regards2you (03-05-2003 02:24 PM).]

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
26 posted 2003-03-05 04:24 PM


Pat, you do this well! I could feel the soft whispers of the wind in every line.

Continue to write this type of poetry. You are sooooo good at it!  Loved it so much

Huggles, Marti

Dwelling on the negative simply
contributes to its power.   
Shirley MacLaine

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
27 posted 2003-03-05 08:16 PM



Marti,

Thank you so much. You know, I think I just lucked out and wrote an especially better than normal poem...but, now that I think of it, I did try to stay with the wind theme all the way through...(that is what Cpat was explaining in a different poem of mine, helping me).....in this poem is the first time I deliberately did it. Even, the next one I posted, I did not stay with the theme...Hmmmmm.

Anyway, I thank you for all the encouraging, lovely things you said.
Makes me feel good. You are a love!!!
Thank you for taking your time and effort to answer this.

Hugs and love  Pat


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
28 posted 2003-05-31 01:53 PM



Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
29 posted 2003-06-18 10:59 AM


Pat~

I came today on path of wend
seeking words from penning friend
Chanced upon your thoughts in drift
My heart ... now owns this gift~

All the verse that you maintain
wears soft imagery in your name
Blowing gentle across the page
this one breezes thoughts of sage~

*Noting the tremendous replies ... both theirs and yours~
What a pleasure to read such kindness~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~


*HOWDY !  I'm so pleased to meet ya' !
Yes, even YOU !


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

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