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Open Poetry #25
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Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida

0 posted 2003-03-03 12:56 PM


I haven't been able to write in such a long time - but something sparked me to dribble this out today.

I feel that I must write you out
of the crease that threatens to set between
my brows
I worry about the effect you have on me
'cause - well...
we all think we have just cause.

This mouth would speak, clumsy;
flailing vowels and tripping consonants
until you ask me to stop
embarrassed by my ungainlyness

(is that a word? ... see)

Would it though, that my mouth were soft
like warm fleece on a cold back
I ache to be like those who
can assimilate cosmopolitan into whatever they desire

It feels like I have known you for years
though
there is a shared-ness between us
that can be seen in a glance or word
although
I have never spoken to you before now

I had to write you out of this crease.  I am
transitioning, but much too young for wrinkles

© Copyright 2003 Nicole Williams - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2003-03-03 01:05 PM


love the ending! I know how you feel...thanks for sharing this emotion
rkcraig
Member
since 2003-02-27
Posts 202
Cincinnati, Ohio, USA
2 posted 2003-03-03 01:37 PM


That's a great piece, I don't understand why more people didn't read it, I enjoyed it.
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2003-03-03 01:47 PM


interesting piece...and one I enjoyed...

you mange to write out well the feeling of being inarticulate when it comes to some things..yet you capture it in a very articulate way... tone and pace of the poem matches the way the thoughts would unfold in a persons mind if thinking them...

as I said.. I enjoyed... and hope the writing it out..helped..

now as for wrinkles... don't go knocking wrinkles too badly... (laughing) some of us have our share....


Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
4 posted 2003-03-03 01:56 PM


PS - Thank you for reading

rk - heh, thank you for your enthusiasm  

Cpat - Did I mention that was wishfull thinking (about the wrinkles?)   Wouldn't it be nice if they could be written off, eh?  Thank you

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

5 posted 2003-03-03 02:16 PM


(laughing) I would rather keep the wrinkles than lose my hair.. ( oh yeah..too late for that)


garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
6 posted 2003-03-03 02:36 PM


Nicole, this was a very good write of your feelings.

About the wrinkles...yeah, wouldn't it be nice if we could just write or wish them away?  

Hugs,
Ethel

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2003-03-03 08:42 PM


Hey you...

I'm just not buying this "can't write" stuff--everything I read from you is thoughtful and skillfully phrased and the end result is always touching.

More please?

Albert J. Allie
Senior Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 512
Queens NY
8 posted 2003-03-03 09:18 PM


Very happy this "Dribbled out"
;smile:
Great read

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