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Open Poetry #25
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Duncan
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since 2001-08-07
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0 posted 2003-03-01 11:42 AM



The sun was low and I was out of beer.
We must’ve passed a hundred road signs
but not one had caught Jake’s attention.
Dallas had fallen asleep about 50 miles back.
Since then, we’d ridden along in silence,
Jake fooling with the radio now and then
but picking up nothing,
me staring out the window,
counting seconds in my head between mile markers.

Finally, feeling too antsy to keep quiet any longer,
I asked, ‘Aren’t you gettin’ tired of drivin’ man?
I could sure use a break from this seat.’

‘Yeah’, he drew the word out as he stretched,
We’re almost there, not far now.’

I let the words ‘not far now’ settle in my mind a bit,
then more from boredom than interest asked,
‘So what are we gonna do with these ghosts when we find ‘em Jake?’

‘No ghosts kid, just some answers’ he replied without tone,
paying most his attention to the map open in front of him
and slowing the truck to under twenty.

I leaned back against the door of the truck, stretched my legs out
much as possible and looked at Dallas, wishin’ I was her pillow.  
‘A woman like that sleepin’ on your arm and you still need answers?’  
I laughed, not expecting or getting a response.

Couple minutes up the road,
Jake nodded towards the shoulder, saying ‘There it is.’

An old wooden sign reading ‘Buffalo Grove  3 Miles’ and pointing north
stood to the side, almost overgrown by weeds and wildflowers.

We made the turn and Jake gently roused Dallas from sleep.

© Copyright 2003 Duncan - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2003-03-01 12:02 PM



You made this spring to life
by the mention of weeds,
and wildflowers...

good job, Duncan...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2003-03-01 12:17 PM


I leaned back against the door of the truck, stretched my legs out
much as possible and looked at Dallas, wishin’ I was her pillow.  
‘A woman like that sleepin’ on your arm and you still need answers?’  
I laughed, not expecting or getting a response.

============================


its the little vignette moments like these that make the characters real..make the breathe on the page...and make us want to know more about them.


and I had to laugh at Jacskon's antsiness...
I could so see the kid fidgeting in his seat...
"Are we there yet...are we there yet???" lmao


Ask the stars all that I wish for
and they will tell you true ...

Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2003-03-01 12:26 PM


Duncan
You write well always enjoy reading you.

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
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Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2003-03-01 03:06 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Duncan, this is wonderful, sweet friend, now I can't wait to see what this excursion will bring to them all, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Duncan, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

5 posted 2003-03-01 03:19 PM


nice installment bud.... now..where you go from here? ( chuckling)

nicely done....

Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2003-03-01 09:00 PM


yep...thats a poem.


lmao



Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2003-03-01 09:00 PM


Well done Duncan!
~Hugs~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

Duncan
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since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

8 posted 2003-03-01 09:23 PM



A poem...without pictures!

Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

9 posted 2003-03-01 09:36 PM


I LOVE THIS POEM...IM VOTING!!!  LMAO

Midnitesun
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Gaia
10 posted 2003-03-01 09:40 PM


Way too cool Dunc. You are a trip and a half. Can I hitch a ride one of these days?
Duncan
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since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

11 posted 2003-03-01 09:59 PM



Janet Marie...Did you have something you wanted to share with the rest of us?  Or have you perhaps.....LOST YOUR MOTHY MIND???

Go play with your own thread...

Duncan
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since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

12 posted 2003-03-01 10:01 PM


Kacy...Hitch right up!  
Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

13 posted 2003-03-01 10:03 PM





Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

14 posted 2003-03-01 10:03 PM



Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

15 posted 2003-03-01 10:04 PM



Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

16 posted 2003-03-01 10:08 PM



Duncan
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since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

17 posted 2003-03-01 10:09 PM



Is there a doctor in the forum?

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

18 posted 2003-03-01 10:18 PM


I told the witch doctor I was in love with you...
I told the witch doctor you didnt love me true...
and then the witch doctor--he told me what to do ...

HE SAID.............

OOOOOUUUUUU EEEEEEE
OOOOOOUUUUU AH AH
TING TANG
WALLA WALLA
BING BANG

OOOOOUUUUUU EEEEEEE
OOOOOOUUUUU AH AH
TING TANG
WALLA WALLA
BING BAAAAAAAANNNGGG



Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

19 posted 2003-03-01 10:20 PM


hey....wheres the little voting box thingy?????

LMAO

garysgirl
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since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
20 posted 2003-03-01 10:28 PM





Janet Marie, you are a mess, aren't you?

Hey, Duncan, It is good, Sir....

Heart Hugs,
Ethel

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

21 posted 2003-03-01 10:59 PM


Thanks Ethel.  Ignore JM...she's hoping to get spanked.
Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
22 posted 2003-03-02 08:47 PM


This was good, Duncan...but, what's wrong with Janet Marie..you put a hex on her?  I haven't thought of that song in years...and now I can't get it out of my mind.
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
23 posted 2003-03-02 09:12 PM


I love your little snippets and the way you accent these stories.

Very good telling Dear Duncan~

Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

24 posted 2003-03-02 10:55 PM







Midnitesun
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Gaia
25 posted 2003-03-02 11:57 PM


Falling out of my chair now!
LMAO at you JM.

Cpat Hair
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since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

26 posted 2003-03-03 08:02 AM


Well..I see something here has amused JM... and or Duncan..you have ssaid or done something to her.and she is now... going to haunt all your threads with witch doctor songs and smiley faces... LOL

YOU TWO GET SERIOUS..... I want another installment out of both of you this week... no if's ands or but's about it...

so straighten up... and get to writing....




Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

27 posted 2003-03-03 08:11 AM


I want another installment out of both of you this week...





me mothy muse ran off with the witch doctor

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
28 posted 2003-03-03 08:46 AM


Duncan,

Engrossing story/poem.  Made me wonder what Dallas looks like.  

JM,

Great song!!

Susan

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

29 posted 2003-03-04 09:34 AM


hmmm.... where's the next one? slackers....
kayjay
Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
30 posted 2003-03-09 01:00 PM


I'd read JMs response before reading this, but this is a wonderful story of people on the road to a destination meaningful to one of them.  Very enjoyable.  KJ

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

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