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Open Poetry #25
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ben_pelling
Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 59
Isle of Wight UK.

0 posted 2003-02-28 11:41 PM



I miss you.
I know we've said our good-byes,
and I know we've gone our
separate ways,
but I still miss you
I wish that people were like chalkboards,
and we could wash our memories clean.
But we're not.
And we can't.
Yet despite the anger that I feel sometimes,
I still miss you.

We were happy once,
and I remember those times.
I remember how we smiled and laughed,
and how you held my heart
in your hand.
I remember the tears and the fights
and how I took my heart back,
bruised and slightly wilted.
But still, somehow,
I miss you,
and I just wanted you to know that
(I am cutting and pasting from my poetry collection on my comp all written by me and my poetry group so please enjoy)

© Copyright 2003 Ben. Pelling. - All Rights Reserved
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
1 posted 2003-02-28 11:44 PM


Oh man knew how this felt the couple weeks after me and Greg broke up. Awesome write.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2003-02-28 11:44 PM


Please read the guidelines about posting only your own work...and about the number of posts per day that are recommended. Thank you.
ben_pelling
Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 59
Isle of Wight UK.
3 posted 2003-02-28 11:45 PM


glad you liked it and theres more too come

...i think...

ben_pelling
Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 59
Isle of Wight UK.
4 posted 2003-02-28 11:47 PM


ok... then ill leave cos all my work was done with the help of my poetry group
rkcraig
Member
since 2003-02-27
Posts 202
Cincinnati, Ohio, USA
5 posted 2003-02-28 11:48 PM


I like the idea of the chalkboard, but I don't think it will ever work, I can only wish.  I like the line where she held your heart in her hand.  That's a terrible feeling to have it given back to you, battered and bruised.  Some people only have a fraction of their heart left, and may choose to never risk their heart being broken again.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
6 posted 2003-03-01 04:31 AM


Enjoyed...lots of good lines...James
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2003-03-01 05:22 AM


this tugs at the heartstrings...
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
8 posted 2003-03-01 09:28 AM




Ben,

Hope you do read the guidelines, for they help all of us know how this poetry site works; many make the mistake of posting too many at first, you are not alone in that, if you did. This makes sure we'll have time to read everyone's, including yours.

Before you decide to leave, did you know there is a teen forum here, though posting your poetry in this forum is fine.

Also, am curious about your group helping you.

We also have a critique forum here where a poet will post and then it gets critiqued by some very skillful writers. Then, it is my understanding, ~the poet~, rewrites it, not the group of critiquers....

Is that how it works with your poetry group you mentioned?

Do you re-write, after their suggestions, or do they actually put lines in your poem?

Big difference.


I liked this poem. Hope you'll consider these questions.

I'd love to see a raw write from you.
Bet you can do it. I noticed your comments in another of your poems, that you are not writing, right now.

Sometimes, when I am going through confusion, fear, anger...my best poetry gets written. Hope you try it.  
Welcome to Passions. Hang around.
Think you'll like it.

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

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