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GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

0 posted 2003-02-28 06:05 AM

My numb fingers
Felt the edge,
Enflamed by force.
The blood poured from
The veins of my insignificance.

And white knuckled
I took in a breath
And set my hands
To my own pockets.

Overwhelmed,
We spoke.
I swallowed the saliva
Of my own convictions.

Waiting to be held
The tree took in the force
Of my insanity.

Its sharp cracks
Gave me my joy.
And nothing hurt…
Numb for a moment.

Oh, to be there...
Just to be there,
Once again.

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

1 posted 2003-02-28 08:17 AM

I can see the longing in this poem. It would be nice to be held, once again. Wouldn't it?

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

2 posted 2003-02-28 09:39 AM

this is good, portrayal of ache, longing, etc. connection to the tree, liked it much

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

3 posted 2003-02-28 09:45 AM

Alyssa,

I don't know why you don't get more response to your poetry. I think this is fantastic.

Hugs and love, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

4 posted 2003-02-28 09:57 AM

SmartChick,
yes, it would.. thank you for the reply.. though kind of funny the end longing I was thinking was too be numb and to allow myself to do what I did, and not to be held, but I see I wrote of two sides.. thansk for pointing it out

Inkedgoddess,
could say the same thing to you as to smartchick. Thank you very much

Pat,
lol don't worry, I don't write for the replies. Glad you like it, thanks for you faithful replies

Hugs and love.

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

5 posted 2003-02-28 11:06 AM

wonderfully done!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

6 posted 2003-02-28 11:09 AM

GG
A very nice write, enjoyed.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

7 posted 2003-02-28 01:13 PM

I remember numbness, and it was good. I can understand. The poem touched me.

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

8 posted 2003-02-28 01:31 PM

Alyssa,

Didn't have time this AM to comment about the lines in poem specifically.
Glad to see this come back up. Time very limited today but do want to mention some of the lines I like so much.

"The blood poured from the veins of my insignificance" (LOVE THIS)

"Overwhelmed,
We spoke.
I swallowed the saliva
Of my own convictions" (WOW)

"The tree took in the force of my insanity...." (Great)

I understood about the numbness. That is how I read it, earlier. Just didn't have time to say all I wanted.

Keep writing. Very naturally talented, you are....quite gifted..

Enjoyed, Hugs and love, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

9 posted 2003-02-28 01:36 PM

They say that a dog is man's best friend--for some of us it's a tree...

Wonderful poem!

Warm hugs,
EA

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

10 posted 2003-02-28 10:55 PM

Brad,
thanks for the wonderfully done. Appreciated!

Sey,
Glad you enjoyed sir! Thank you much

Dixie,
yea, it really was, and letting myself punch the tree, that was really nice. Always comforting to have someone understand, thank you, and glad you're touched.

Pat,
another reply, wow, thanks! Its always exciting to see which lines people enjoy, and it seems you like most of the same ones I do. Thank you thank you once again for saying I'm talented, lol think what you like

...I'll keep writing, I've got to, I'd be more insane if I didn't! Hugs and love.

EA,
very true. And how I wish I could let myself be best friends with it again! But.. I won't.. instead the poems will be. Thanks you muchly! hugs

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

rkcraig
Member

since 2003-02-27

Posts 202
Cincinnati, Ohio, USA

11 posted 2003-03-01 12:05 PM

I think my favortie line is:

The blood poured from
The veins of my insignificance.

It gives an important, serious meaning, then says that the person it's coming from is insignificant. I don't believe it's true, but a good line none the less.

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

12 posted 2003-03-01 09:13 AM

thank you! for replying.. and not finding me insignificant, I suppose we all believe lies a few too many times.

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

[This message has been edited by GG (03-01-2003 10:18 AM).]

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