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Open Poetry #25
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Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston

0 posted 2003-02-23 04:38 PM


Today, you are not "on" my mind.
You are "in" my mind.
Pulling, searching, questioning.
Or is that my conscience?

So many promises you broke,
and yet the only promise I have broken
is weighing heavily on my heart.

You write, you call, you show up.
Uninvited and yet, if truth be told,
not unwanted.

I deal with you, because I feel obligated to the memory of what was once "Us".

I move on, because that is what life dictates.
When all I really wish to do
is fall to my knees, cover my ears and cry out....
             lies....
                    lies....
                           LIES!


Remember me with a smile on your face, or please don't remember me at all.


© Copyright 2003 Lucille Dobbins - All Rights Reserved
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
1 posted 2003-02-23 04:43 PM


Oh what an ache here Lucie!
What a hearfelt write.
Love the presentation as well.
~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2003-02-23 04:56 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Lucie, my heart goes out to you, sweet friend, I know this feeling of invasion and the difference between "in" and "on" and I hope soon you can chase the visions "out"! (sad sigh) I send angel hugs your way, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lucie, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Amara
Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 158
East of the moon, west of the sun.
3 posted 2003-02-23 05:40 PM


'Today, you are not "on" my mind.
You are "in" my mind.'

I like those lines...and so true, too. Very nice write.

That's what we, as heroes, do. We live as if the world were like it should be, to show the world what it could be.

Thomas119gold
Senior Member
since 2002-06-03
Posts 708
Biloxi, MS (city by the sea)
4 posted 2003-02-23 05:45 PM




I know the feeling
Thomas

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
5 posted 2003-02-23 05:55 PM


Oh, Lucie. What a sad poem. But I'm delighted to see you back on board.
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
6 posted 2003-02-24 09:39 AM




Lucie,

Can't recall having read any other of your poetry, but this got my attention. Loved the ending. Quite powerful, and aching....


Enjoyed, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
7 posted 2003-02-24 09:57 AM


..."Today you are not "on" my mind,
    You are "in" my mind."

Great line!
I also found it very effective how you ended the poem:
     "lies...
         lies.....
           LIES........."

It sends out a message loud and clear!

Warm hugs,
EA

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
8 posted 2003-02-24 10:11 AM


I seem to recall a "Lucie"....but, it couldn't be the same....This one used to be mean and tease Toerags and such...Hmmm?...
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2003-02-24 11:10 AM


Very nice...James
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2003-02-24 12:20 PM



Lucie...it's been awhile!  Welcome home!

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
11 posted 2003-02-24 04:31 PM


Painfully written excellence... or excellently written pain... not quite sure which. *S* It's great to see you posting, Lucie! *S*
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