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Open Poetry #25
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D edgar Grey
Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 174
Hell...(aka Wisconsin)

0 posted 2003-02-21 11:46 PM


I'm really unsure about this piece...I really like it, but the people I've shown it to have been...rather silent, so...yeah. Please: Be blunt. If you dislike it say so, but give me a reason(s) why. Thanks.

----------------------------------------------------

"Judgement"

I sit here
Awaiting
Awaiting your judgement
Judgement of my whole

Day slips into night
And the light
Light of the city
Fills my windows
As shadows cover
My emaciated face
You reach over
And clutch my hand
Cold in your heat

Even the city must sleep
And so do we
I lay, exposed
Without burden
While you gently rub
Rub my aching body
With your healing presence
Let me sleep now
And wait
Await the morning¡¦s light

I sit here
Awaiting
Awaiting your judgement
Judgement of my whole
While sunlight floods
Floods my windows
Uncovering my hidden face

I wait for you

If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work:  "Hello.  Can't work today, still queer."

© Copyright 2003 Carson - All Rights Reserved
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA
1 posted 2003-02-21 11:50 PM


I like this a lot.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Dragon Mistress
Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 289
Washington, USA.
2 posted 2003-02-22 01:14 AM


Perhaps they were silent in awe?  I find this one very good indeed.  Greatly enjoyed!
Tanya

~*~I'm only a dreamer, with broken dreams, and only words to fall back on~*~

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
3 posted 2003-02-22 11:00 AM



D edgar Grey,

I personally like poetry such as this.
I've reread it a couple times and find much to think about and more than one way to apply the inferences.


Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2003-02-22 11:20 AM


D edgar Grey
Enjoyed the read.

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