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Open Poetry #25
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The Wrong Words
| Open Poetry #25 |
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The Wrong Words |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass 
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The Wrong Words the sun was doing what suns do and we were walking, talking, finding things in clouds and mostly loving, when a small quick frown crossed you and I was pulling back my word string, kites falling all around us as the clouds went gray |
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| © Copyright 2003 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Elan Member
since 2002-05-03
Posts 382State of Wide Eye |
You must be careful of those wrong words... the imagery was wonderful! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
excellent short work that says much about how the words we string together are easily knotted. Enjoyed |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Oh, how I know the feeling, but you have described it so fantastically, I'm almost speechless! Which might be a good thing, on occasion, to prevent using those wrong words. Well done, fascinating perspective and word choice in the poem, anyway.  Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Ed..you should consider submitting this for the book... |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Ed, So realistic in what happens in many kinds of relationships. I find this especially true, to this day, with both my adult children, and even my grand children.... This line makes me smile: "finding things in clouds and mostly loving" I find it difficult, yet have learned over and over, and I am sometimes dismayed over reactions to things I've said, to walk on eggshells. And, yet that we must, be careful of what we say...too often I assume others have a deeper understanding than they do....I am a forgetter of where I was, and how I got to where I am... This is a great reminder for me. Quite insightful. Thank you, Hugs, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed...yes, words are like that. They can make the sun shine, or not. Your words here are the truth of life beautifully written. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Naw, Cpat, I doubt that any of my stuff will make the book. Not many people read it, which is to be expected since my style tends to be pretty intense at times, and my subjects are often not the kind that make for comfortable reading. I've been trying to ease up a bit, but so far without too much success.... For instance "I'd Carry You" /pip/Forum64/HTML/000415.html has replies from only six people, despite the subject and its dedication. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> ______________Ratleader______________ [This message has been edited by Ratleader (02-21-2003 11:32 AM).] |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I can't read this without remembering how many times I've longed to catch my words and stuff them back down my throat. *S* This is excellent! *S* |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
I can't tell you how many times words have been said that could not be taken back....This write is excellent Ed. I must have had my momma's will |
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Shlee Member
since 2003-02-16
Posts 72USA |
I really like this. It says a lot and brings back a ton of memories. It's so true. Why would you change your style just because you don't get many replies? It's kind of like trying to live a false life because people don't like you for who you are, isn't it? Just curious. Shlee Bye the way, I like deep, intense reads. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Well.. you know... I've got some hanging around in the archives with only one or two responses..some of them I thought good..and others.well..they probably deserved to sink. one thing I have found out..and am guilty of..I read a lot.. and sometimes don't reply.. but it doesn't mean I don't appreciate the author or the read.. sometimes i am left with nothing to say.that hasn't been said before or when I say it..it comes out all wrong..so responses are not the only measure of whether it is read or not... Now... this I think is good..and as for intense writes or subjects... go for it.. I enjoy the serious and sometimes controversial subjects tackled... and I have yet to see anything yu have written I would shy away from or that would frighten most people off... I do think it should be considered for the book because it speaks to several levels of using words... from posting here.. to talking to new people..to talking mate or spouses... choice is yours... I enjoyed it no matter.. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Hi Cpat 'n Shlee-- Actually I see it as writing for an audience, and now having a better idea of what it is...... BUT -- I'll only go so far with that. I've also found that there's a group of folks here who like the kind of stuff that comes more naturally for me, and that means I can write that way too. Cpat, your E-mail isn't posted. If you'll drop me a note, I'll send back a poem or two like that..... good, I think, but not PC here. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Ratleader coming from one who's been censored three times and written more bombs (at least with regards to the number of replies, i thought they were goodish) I have to tell you keep writing what you write, do not write for the crowd. The will accept you or they won't I've been lucky as i've been accepted even though everything i write is better suited for the Dark Poetry forum. I really like your style so don't change it |
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poohbear19 Member
since 2003-02-02
Posts 94Colorado, USA |
nicely written great imagery Beautiful write Andrea |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
You guys cheer me up -- almost makes me glad I started whining......... If the truth be told, when I wrote that first comment I was still stinging a bit from another kind of disappointment that came my way this morning. Unrelated, but I think I let it leak through, if you know what I mean. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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