Kansas Twists ( duet with Deca)

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Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2003-02-20 05:19 PM

some times
trees bow
in supplicating devastation
to winds that turn on themselves
then drop from clouds
white black linings

so that in spin of whirl
dust is borne upward,
with ravage to
become engraved
on retinas
not meant to hold
such inky black.

standing one
paralyzed
in wait of blindness
that follows stripped
hail drop tears

needles sting
hay blown nails
with rain flattened heads
pelt

lost
to life

souls cry

amid tumbled troubled
trash once home

in muddy ends
of wait
for skies blue

and funerals

in seeming loss
of all

except spring's
sprig of green
at boot
that still blooms

[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (02-20-2003 05:48 PM).]

Robert Frazier
Senior Member

since 2003-02-06

Posts 1014

1 posted 2003-02-20 05:34 PM

20+ years in Texas...so this poem hits a nerve. There is a violence there that is almost indescribable...almost. You've caused me to stop and relive a couple of close calls. Chills...I have still have them! Powerful...as usual!

Rf

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

2 posted 2003-02-20 05:40 PM

Ron and Deca

"except spring's
sprig of green
at boot
that still blooms"

always, there is hope! This was a wonderful duet! Beautiful imagery and thoughtfull subject. Much enjoyed!

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

3 posted 2003-02-20 05:41 PM

(tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Ron and Deca, this too hit me deep down, I hear of so many stories of tornadoes affecting lifestyles there and across all of Tornado Alley and it truly is a heartbreaking site just to see the rubble! (sad sigh) This is powerful, sweet friend, it's best we keep this awareness in mind, God Bless You Both, we all love you so much! You have such beautiful hearts, sweet Ron and Deca, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

4 posted 2003-02-20 06:34 PM

some times
trees bow
in supplicating devastation
to winds that turn on themselves
then drop from clouds
white black linings

so that in spin of whirl
dust is borne upward,
with ravage to
become engraved
on retinas
not meant to hold
such inky black.

standing one
paralyzed
in wait of blindness
that follows stripped
hail drop tears

needles sting
hay blown nails
with rain flattened heads
pelt

lost
to life

souls cry

==================

talk about imagery overload.....
damn.... you two kicked up some dust of your own...do it again...and again and again

"Trees are poems that the earth writes upon the sky ...
We fell them down to turn them into paper that we may record our emptiness."

K.Gibran

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

5 posted 2003-02-20 06:38 PM

What JM said...
Wow! The Captain and Deca...ohhhh yessss!
~Hugs to you both~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

6 posted 2003-02-20 08:05 PM

Because of the hurricane season we have in Florida, with all the tornadoes coming from them, this was very real to me.
And, ya'll did such a good job of blending that I couldn't tell which was which....

Very, very good!!

"Love makes the world go around"
~with love and hugs from Ethel GG~

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

7 posted 2003-02-20 08:31 PM

I could tell

but it was so well blended it is not funny and so full of fast forward imagery that was truly outstanding. Great duet you two, what is next? How about a story?

~* Carpe' Diem *~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

8 posted 2003-02-21 03:50 AM

BRAVO!

Decaflame
Senior Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 1635

9 posted 2003-02-21 07:02 AM

Still shaking that dust off
from the tornado, Ron...

Thanks, everyone! The Captain does have a way with twisting a thought, and the best I could do was to hold on to the bed and scream out some adjectives....

but it was a ride worth taking.

Tornados are funny things...they can rip up miles of ground, and leave the smallest things standing, untouched.

If you ever see one? Get out of its way...

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

10 posted 2003-02-21 09:00 AM

personal experience with twisters taught me a long time ago just how destructive and quirky they are... Robert was right in that there are no words to truly capture them..

thanks Deca for the experience... I'm not in your league when it comes to the imagery and only you...could have added hope at the end..

scorpio
Member Ascendant

since 2002-10-02

Posts 5178
right...there

11 posted 2003-02-21 10:04 AM

Great team!!!! Hope to see more from this combo!!

believe in what your heart feels...

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

12 posted 2003-02-21 10:25 AM

Wonderfully well written by you both.
Imagery great. Living my adult life in earthquake country, the common denominator is the fear factor, before and especially after...something which takes a long time to dissipate.

Enjoyed much.  I chose to view this symbolically, for there are life circumstances which are this devastating, as well.

The touch of hope at the end was  wonderful.

Since you've done so well with this, of course you should try  a story together. Nice pairing.

Enjoyed, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

13 posted 2003-02-21 11:01 AM

Grew up in the tornado belt of the south. This was a seamless picture of moments surrounding what was as common then as a summer afternoon shower. Good job you two!

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

14 posted 2003-02-21 12:07 PM

I have seen that storm, that devastation, that bloom.... This one took me back to Missouri for sure. Thanks for the ride!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

15 posted 2003-02-21 12:13 PM

wonderfully done....

more duets please...

regards,
sudhir

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

16 posted 2003-02-21 11:20 PM

Definitely brings my Missouri childhood back..there was always something about the absolute stillness in the air preceding the twister that raised arm hairs with the waiting....you both did something excellent here...

Sunkissed
Senior Member

since 2002-12-03

Posts 610

17 posted 2003-02-22 12:07 PM

You two certainly know how to leave one breathless...

Enjoyed!

Sunkissed.

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