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Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554


0 posted 2003-02-17 06:39 PM


Spooked


I didn’t wait much longer,
across the road from Iambe’s.
I’d been tastin’ a cold beer for hours,
so that, and the sudden storm clouds,
were the reasons I gave myself for leaving,
but spooked is what my Grandma
would’ve called it.

Plain old spooked.

I turned the truck around
and headed back into town,
and Jake’s Place.
Pulled up just before the rain.
The place was near empty.
I walked to the end of the bar
and a stool by the poker machine.

‘What can I get ya sweetie?’
‘Beer’
‘Think I got one a those’

She smiled like she almost meant it.

My eyes followed as she walked,
but only out of habit.
My mind was back at Iambe’s.
I reached for the bottle
already frosting as she sat it on the bar.


‘Jake been around today?’
‘No darlin, said he had some business out at Iambe’s.
Left early this mornin’.’
‘You a friend a his?’
‘Yeah’


I wasn’t looking for conversation
but I didn’t mind listening to her voice.
It wrapped warm arms
around you from behind
and hid it’s breath in your neck.
The thought of her bed
entered a corner of my mind.


‘Ya’ll look alike, ya know that?’
‘What? I’m sorry, I was…’
‘You and Jake. You got the same eyes’
‘Can’t say I’ve noticed. Can I get another beer’?’
‘A mans eyes on a boys face’
‘Beer, please?’, I repeated
‘Relax sweetie, we got plenty’
... ... ...

Two days and a nasty hangover later,
she woke me asking if I was hungry.
As I slowly and vaguely
remembered where I was, the smell
of bacon tempted me to full consciousness.
I’d passed hungry long ago.


I reached for a beer I’d left
sitting in the window and looked down
onto the street below.


‘Jake’s here, least his truck’s out front’
‘So why don’t ya put down that beer
and go talk to him. Maybe that’ll stop ya
talking in your sleep.’


Duncan


--------------------------

Bruised


Jake was sitting at a table in the corner
by the window, when Jackson came down the
stairs looking like shredded tire.
Jake could only shake his head and laugh.

"My bartender take good care of you?"

"I wish I could remember," Jackson hoarsely countered.

Kate walked to the table with coffee and laughed playfully.

"Good thing I learned a long time ago not to take
anything a hung over cowboy says personally."

She pushed Jackson's sun burnt, bleached hat down
over his eyes and asked Jake if he wanted anymore
bacon or eggs, then headed back to the kitchen.
Both men watched her swish and sway away.

"Damn she wears those jeans as tight as
my seat covers," Jackson admired.

"Eat your breakfast kid, we got places to be
and work to do. "

Jake sat and stared out the window as Jackson
finished his eggs. Both men had much on their
minds but true to nature, neither were talking.
They seemed an odd pairing of sidekicks to some,
Jackson being several years younger than Jake.

Both grew up in the same town. Jake had seen Jackson in
many of the same pool halls and cattle calls through the
years, for whatever reason, he was just always around.
But it wasn't until they ended up on the same rodeo circuit
that they became padres. They got drunk together one night
after both got their egos and backends bruised by a bronc,
and from then on it just seemed they shadowed one another.

After breakfast they headed out in Jake's truck.
Before leaving town, Travis had told him about some
horses that a mutual friend had for sale. Jake wanted to
take a look at them. They rode out to the ranch in silence,
each caught up in their thoughts. Ever since Konrad had
came back to town with that damned death certificate,
it was like a storm squall of change had blown in.

Both Travis and Konrad took off in their own personal
dust clouds, leaving Jake and his sisters waiting to see
what would wash up in their wakes. Jake wondered what
was bothering the kid. Jackson had been like a skittish colt
ever since he showed up at Iambes and heard the news.

He made a mental note to ask Kate what she
might know when he got back to the bar.
Cowboys have a tendency to talk too much when
washing down the dust with a few too many brew,
maybe she could shed some light on Jackson's lament.
After all, she knew the reasons behind the bleed of bruises,
the black and blues that can only be seen when a cowboy
takes his boots off.


JM

~~~


[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (02-17-2003 09:35 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
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since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

1 posted 2003-02-17 06:46 PM


Ok you two... now... if you don't write more to this and finish what you've started... I'm going to have a fit..

very well done... I love the way it unfolds and the story line. I think another wrinkle or two is in the offing here.. So lets see them... ( chuckling)

good telling... very good telling


Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
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Listening to every heart
2 posted 2003-02-17 06:47 PM



Well hand me a present plunked down in  a cowboy's chapeau...
you did good, girl, good, tight, kept the
characters all in their own darn spotlights...

yep, you did good.

Konrad's nodding, too.

kayjay
Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
3 posted 2003-02-17 06:48 PM


What marvelous characters!! The pick ups, the bar, the quiet men.  I long to see this in a movie where the implications are to be seen.  KJ

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Denise
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since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

4 posted 2003-02-17 06:56 PM


Excellent piece of writing! I thoroughly enjoyed this!
regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
5 posted 2003-02-17 07:03 PM




This is amazing. First off, I enjoy the depth created the longer I got into the story line. Much to read between the lines and yet you put us in each scene.

Secondly, this is my favorite line...
I liked it so much I reread it couple times.

".............voice,"
it wrapped warm arms
around you from behind
and hid its breath
in your neck,"

I love that!  Enjoyed both parts a great deal.

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
6 posted 2003-02-17 07:05 PM


Good story tellin' here, JM!

Cor

JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2003-02-17 07:08 PM


A pleasure to read...James
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2003-02-17 07:19 PM


JM,
Maybe you should write a few short stories, you have the talent for it. Enjoyed this write very much.

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

9 posted 2003-02-17 07:22 PM


(chuckling)... as I said over in 24... seems others think the same...
so why not pursue it?

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2003-02-17 07:23 PM


Brava!!!  Much enjoyed...fantastic imagery took me there.
May we see more please?
~Hugs~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2003-02-17 07:24 PM



One moody muse kickin' another...
who'da figgered?


Cpat Hair
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since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

12 posted 2003-02-17 07:43 PM


If that is what is happening..I'm springing for both of them a pair of pointed toe boots... figuring if they are gonna kick each other might as well make it easy for them to have an incentive... those pointed toes can surely hurt.. ( chuckling)

Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
13 posted 2003-02-17 07:52 PM




(smiles) Yay!!! Oh my gosh, cowboys gotta make sure they step their spurs upon the right hardwood floor too and be familiar with the atmosphere and that alderwood scent, this is wonderful, I love the new forks and confluences in this marvelous tale, yay, we all love you both so much! You have such beautiful hearts, sweet Janet and Duncan, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

14 posted 2003-02-17 08:11 PM


Hey...who ya callin' moody???  

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
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California
15 posted 2003-02-18 12:06 PM


Excellent you two...thoroughly enjoyed!!
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

16 posted 2003-02-18 12:55 PM


Thanks everyone for reading our novelette
Special thanks to Ron and Kari for their inspirational influences in this series.

Dunc..thanks for writing with the moth...
and for the inspiration. Seems me moody muse writes better for cowboys and porch puppies

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

17 posted 2003-02-18 08:20 AM


Thanks everyone for reading our story.  Thanks Ron, Kari and JM for writing a family that it's always 'interesting' to hang out with.  

Cpat Hair
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18 posted 2003-02-18 09:59 AM


hmmm.. well... so.... you just leaving us here hanging now? Get off your lazy duffs and write the rest of this...

you two trying to drive me nuts or what? ( no wait..I'm already nuts... never mind..)

So... long lost brother here? cousin? son from an early childhood affair? half brother?

you gonna tell this or not??????

Darn your mothy wings...both of you!

I think you enjoy torturing me...
(laughing)


Duncan
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since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

19 posted 2003-02-18 10:17 AM


My part's done Ron, just waiting on the moody moth.  (I musta done something really bad in a previous life... ).
Think you're tortured???  I KNOW what happens!!!  

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
20 posted 2003-02-18 10:21 AM



Konrad's somewhere in Belize, or so his last postcard said...he'll get around to leaving a note on a tree, I think...

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

21 posted 2003-02-18 10:29 AM



'...a note on a tree'

Okay Konrad!  Mind giving Jake a call, tell him...Jackson's waiting!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

22 posted 2003-02-18 10:30 AM


The moth has left the building ...





Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

23 posted 2003-02-18 10:32 AM



GET BACK HERE YA SLACKER!!!!!

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

24 posted 2003-02-18 10:51 AM


well... I never saw such an uncooperative bunch of slackers in my life...

I'll just leave you all to figure out whose turn it is to write next and go write something about Oklahoma...

I STILL WANT SOME ANSWERS HERE!!!!!!

get off your hineys..and get to writing!!

garysgirl
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since 2002-09-29
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Florida, USA
25 posted 2003-02-18 11:06 AM


Hey, ya'll....this is no fair...
ya'll leaving all of us hanging in the air like this???????

     
.
Very, very good reading, ya'll!!

Hugs,
Ethel

Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
26 posted 2006-06-17 03:41 PM


So?  And then what?   When time permits, this has to continue - can't believe I never saw this one before, and it is sure my loss.
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