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Passions in Poetry

Rain of You

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Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


0 posted 02-16-2003 05:55 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Cpat Hair


I followed the streak
As it burned across black
And into retina
Leaving spots of you
To dance before me
Unable to touch

Split clouds pour
And I am drenched.
Eroding just a bit more
Of hardface

Sing to me thunder
Sing to me
And let the strikes
Come closer
That my heart may stop
This aching reign
© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


1 posted 02-16-2003 06:01 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Ron...Intense feeling in this stom of words...touched the ouch in me.  Hugs to you.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


2 posted 02-16-2003 06:52 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


Summer will be here
soon enough...
the aches, though
won't be washed away
as easily...
regards2you
Member Elite
since 10-01-2002
Posts 4192
California


3 posted 02-16-2003 07:43 PM       View Profile for regards2you   Email regards2you   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for regards2you



This is deeply heart and gut touching. About knocked me off my chair like that lightening bolt the third time I read it.  I love it, for all the right reasons. It is a very good poem! Again, with your poetry some of the lines blow my mind. Yum. I wish I could write like this. And, am so glad you share it here with us.

Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Sunkissed
Senior Member
since 12-03-2002
Posts 619


4 posted 02-16-2003 08:42 PM       View Profile for Sunkissed   Email Sunkissed   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sunkissed

Felt this muchly.


Sunkissed.
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 06-08-2002
Posts 5670
Jacksonville, Florida, USA


5 posted 02-16-2003 08:44 PM       View Profile for the_loner_23   Email the_loner_23   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_loner_23

That was beautifully written

Cold hands means a warm heart

Quiet Acquiescence
Member
since 02-16-2003
Posts 71
somewhere out here


6 posted 02-16-2003 08:51 PM       View Profile for Quiet Acquiescence   Email Quiet Acquiescence   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Quiet Acquiescence

oh wow, real deep, real deep. it's so beautiful.

~*~me~*~
Enchantress
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since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


7 posted 02-16-2003 08:55 PM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

Excellent....much enjoyed.
~Hugs~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


8 posted 02-17-2003 12:24 AM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

"Sing to me thunder
Sing to me
And let the strikes
Come closer
That my heart may stop
This aching reign"


you know, this is fantastic...I do so love your poetry...and when you write of rain....well, you know
passing shadows
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since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


9 posted 02-17-2003 03:49 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

yes!
SweetSerenity
Member
since 02-16-2003
Posts 51
Canada


10 posted 02-17-2003 05:56 AM       View Profile for SweetSerenity   Email SweetSerenity   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SweetSerenity

I also really enjoyed this poem.  You made the readers feel every word that you typed.

~A touch of Sweetness . . . . . A lifetime of Serenity~

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 08-07-2001
Posts 5716


11 posted 02-17-2003 08:53 AM       View Profile for Duncan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Duncan

'Sing to me thunder
Sing to me
And let the strikes
Come closer
That my heart may stop
This aching reign'

If the thunder doesn't work Ron, you could try burying it in the snow!  

Mistletoe Angel
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since 12-17-2000
Posts 34089
City of Roses


12 posted 02-19-2003 12:28 AM       View Profile for Mistletoe Angel   Email Mistletoe Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Mistletoe Angel's Home Page   View IP for Mistletoe Angel



(sad sigh) Ouch, this too thunderstruck me deeply, may the rain fall but may the lightning be greased all at once, here's to a tamer storm, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!



May love an dlight always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 01-23-2003
Posts 7179
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass


13 posted 02-19-2003 12:51 AM       View Profile for Ratleader   Email Ratleader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ratleader's Home Page   View IP for Ratleader

I do like your intensity, the way you draw the cinches until everything is tight and hard, the light focused to a little bright dot that's ready to burn.

Nice work. Very nice.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

passing shadows
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since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


14 posted 02-20-2003 04:34 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

yeah!
gemjop
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since 11-18-2002
Posts 2663
Pencilveinia, USA


15 posted 02-20-2003 10:39 PM       View Profile for gemjop   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for gemjop

ron, i can smell the rain...thankyou sir... a wonderful write.
lots of love, gemma xxxxxxxxx

learning each day, for you and i, our paths have met, i've already learnt that you are love.

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 09-29-2002
Posts 20064
Florida, USA


16 posted 02-20-2003 10:46 PM       View Profile for garysgirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit garysgirl's Home Page   View IP for garysgirl

Just WOW, Capt.

"Love makes the world go around"
~with love and hugs from Ethel GG~  
                  

GG
Member Elite
since 12-03-2002
Posts 3615
Lost in thought


17 posted 02-20-2003 11:39 PM       View Profile for GG   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for GG

this leaves me somewhat speechless, I love it! I'm going to go have a few more reads, then I may be able to reply better!

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
     (blink, breathe, stand, fight)

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 11-18-2002
Posts 7451
the ass-end of space


18 posted 02-20-2003 11:41 PM       View Profile for Aenimal   Email Aenimal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aenimal

And let the strikes
Come closer
That my heart may stop
This aching reign

Cpat these could be some of the best lines ever written here, loved this then again I am a dark bastard
Elan
Member
since 05-03-2002
Posts 394
State of Wide Eye


19 posted 02-21-2003 09:43 AM       View Profile for Elan   Email Elan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elan


I see clouds...
scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 10-02-2002
Posts 5709
right...there


20 posted 02-21-2003 10:02 AM       View Profile for scorpio   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for scorpio

Nice play on words...you continue to inspire Ron!!

believe in what your heart feels...

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 11-16-2000
Posts 7440
Oregon


21 posted 02-21-2003 10:08 AM       View Profile for VAS   Email VAS   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for VAS

powerful, powerful imaging, Ron

good show, ol' boy!

I love the "clouds split" line especially much!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


22 posted 02-21-2003 03:23 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

a sensuality to this, Ron.

What does your nickname mean, anyway?

Cpat hair - ?

Cor
Shlee
Member
since 02-16-2003
Posts 74
USA


23 posted 02-21-2003 06:47 PM       View Profile for Shlee   Email Shlee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Shlee

Wonderful.  That last stanza says a lot, very powerful
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


24 posted 02-21-2003 07:05 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

Thanks to all of you... humbled in many ways that this offering of mine has garnered the replies it has... sincere thank to all of you.
 
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