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Open Poetry #25
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Taking Innocence (1962)
| Open Poetry #25 |
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Taking Innocence (1962) |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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Taking Innocence A certain gray quality to that morning pressed into my skin held my steps back prevented the perfect breath. I could feel it hitch there in my throat as I tried not to take it in fully, but, of course, I had to breathe. I couldn't just decide that today I didn't like the quality of the air and choose not to. The car whined purred then choked, a living thing, cohort companion in this agony of breathing. She beside me, red hair corking out the window disturbing the air with exuberance its fiery threads. She knew the way into this dark place. Her story was locked, my gaze not shifting her stillness into telling. In the tilt of her eyes she knew the feel of tangled ropes battling in my bowels. Into the streets of noisy faces and the congestion of smells like ripe sewage leaking into the air cried a baby. I held the small swelling to protect it from the blaring horns and poverty of empty faces that insisted. We squeezed past border guards and brightly colored pedestrians then I turned to question her face and caught death naked in her eyes. A puppet I followed her to the cracked corner, past the swollen silent buildings past the glass tomb storefronts into the white room. Take me back I begged the silence of her back, before that long night of heavy breathing and naked eyes, back before I thought that being his was all I wanted to be, before our legs tangled and he melted like warm honey. In the white room I was expecting to explode onto the ceiling, paint the white sterile walls with the blood of that blissful union, wished to push that careless creation into pause, 'till I could be a mother I whispered to the curved line of my womb. She held my hand in the fog that descended on that day that doomed the tiny agony of life glued to the central core of me. Then her freckled long fingers trapped the beige flutter of mine and she pulled me into the evening. ----- 9-99 |
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| © Copyright 2003 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
You're an amazingly incredible and talented poet dear Martie. Just incredible. You move me in so many ways beautiful lady. Not submitting this to Reflections? hugs Maree  |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Amazing indeed... This is an astounding and introspective piece that has to have been emotionally wrenching to write... I always go away from your work shaking my head and wondering... How DO you DO this???...  |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (tears fall down my cheeks) Oh Martie, now I am flooding in tears after this deep and sad write, it saddens me to seen our children have to be surrounded by such despair and poverty and my prayers are with them all in hope they can find their ways back into the morning light with a loved ones incandescent wink of an eye! (wipes tears) I send big angel hugs outb to you for this gorgeous write, God Bless You, you have my vote on this excellent second single, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart sweet Martie, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Thanks for giving me the opportunity to Vote. This so deserves to be part of Reflections. Maree |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
How well you delve into the very soul of your topics, as if you stand before the canvas with the finest blade, flecking only the primest of emotions for the paper. God Bless Martie. ThisDiamond |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Silent utterances. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
hugs... that's all.. just a hug |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
A hug...a tear...and a vote, sweet Martie. |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Martie, So well written with such grace. Heart touched and teary-eyed here, thank you for sharing this with us. Warm hugs and God be with you always, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Dear, sweet, Martie.....just as Nancy Lee Tears Hugs  Vote  |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Now that is poetry with a capital "P" for perfection, and I have to say not only will I remember a few lines of this Martie, I shall read this many times over. You absolutely amaze me how your heart can spill forth such emotion, and description. Even in this sadness you squeezed each metaphor for every drop it could give us, and for that I have to thank you. [This message has been edited by Mysteria (02-17-2003 04:07 AM).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Take me back I begged the silence of her back, before that long night of heavy breathing and naked eyes, back before I thought that being his was all I wanted to be, before our legs tangled and he melted like warm honey. In the white room I was expecting to explode onto the ceiling, paint the white sterile walls with the blood of that blissful union, wished to push that careless creation into pause, 'till I could be a mother I whispered to the curved line of my whomb. She held my hand in the fog that decended on that day that doomed the tiny agony of life glued to the central core of me. Then her freckled long fingers trapped the beige flutter of mine and she pulled me into the evening. =========================== sometimes the words knock the wind out of me and all I can say is....damn... a very sincere and respectful ...damn...... |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Martie - hugs from me, and my vote, you're a beautiful writer... BC |
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Robert Frazier Senior Member
since 2003-02-06
Posts 1014 |
all my emotions have been swept away toward you...I am empty. Rf |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Your words paint the devastating sorrow well, Martie. (((HUGS))) |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Martie~ You know that I felt this with you as I read. No more words...just lots of hugs. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Thank you, everyone that replied for reading and for your words. |
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Tim Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794 |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Martie~ A picture of perfection painted with your touching words.So much emotion can be felt from this poem...Paul "To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you" [This message has been edited by Paul Wilson (02-18-2003 01:48 AM).] |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I think perhaps Tim has best expressed himself... There are no words to do this piece justice... |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
A poem can be hard to read for a number of reasons. One of those is that it's hard to see because the words keep getting blurred. Sometimes you take us on a magic carpet ride, and sometimes it's a roller-coaster along the fringes of hell. Either way, your poetry never fails to move me, and this one, maybe most of all. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
have you ever thought of writing novels Martie? |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
If I wore a hat, I'd tip it to you... this is just pure excellence. |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Martie - what poetry you craft - what wonderful words you weave full of images and sounds and feelings - this is just amazing - you could do a whole book just with your wonderful poems Martie - Paul |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Now you understand why I said this one, you make me so proud to know you. |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Moving, emotive, raw....loved it. |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Touching deeply here. *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Oh My....I'm not sure what to say.... I'll just vote!!!! Bridgette |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
This is Martiesque poetry... regards, sudhir |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Your words are laid out like melting butter ... and so many dark and light images/faces/buildings/trees emerge from the page in this write, which, I believe, is about conception and death. I love this poem, Martie. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Your writing always touches me in some way. Beautifully done, Martie as only you can. M |
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