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Passions in Poetry

A Matter of Time

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JamesMichael
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since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


0 posted 02-19-2003 02:22 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for JamesMichael

A Matter of Time

If you were to inquire
what happened to us two
I would say I tired of
begging for time with you.

For if I have to
beg for a kiss
the quality is gone
and the value is missed.

Why would you make
me beg for your time?
All my time was yours
but your time was not mine.

JamesLee
February17
2003

© Copyright 2003 JamesMichael - All Rights Reserved
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


1 posted 02-19-2003 02:29 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

hey james.. a suggestion?
read this to yourself with the last line changed to
"but you're not mine."

and tell me what you think about the flow as well as the meaning..does it change it too much?

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 06-08-2002
Posts 5670
Jacksonville, Florida, USA


2 posted 02-19-2003 02:33 PM       View Profile for the_loner_23   Email the_loner_23   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_loner_23

I really like this. I know how this feels.

Cold hands means a warm heart

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 11-16-1999
Posts 31622
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA


3 posted 02-19-2003 02:39 PM       View Profile for JamesMichael   Email JamesMichael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JamesMichael

Thank you Cpat and the loner for responding...
Cpat the flow sounds so much better but it would change the meaning for me...this is a sensitive situation for me...James
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


4 posted 02-19-2003 02:47 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

understand James... not trying to put my nose in and know how it is when the writing means something more than just the art.. sorry if I was out of line.

Sunnyone
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since 07-06-2000
Posts 5483
Staffordshire, England


5 posted 02-19-2003 03:24 PM       View Profile for Sunnyone   Email Sunnyone   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunnyone's Home Page   View IP for Sunnyone

Yes, one does get tired of feeling like they have to beg for affection, or even just to get noticed at all.  How true your words are here...

Accept these small gifts from my gypsy soul, and let the magik happen!  ~~S~~

vandana
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Member Patricius
since 10-22-1999
Posts 10748
USA


6 posted 02-19-2003 04:52 PM       View Profile for vandana   Email vandana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for vandana

liked this
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


7 posted 02-20-2003 04:20 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

sigh
QjQ
Member Elite
since 04-18-2003
Posts 3938
U.S.A.


8 posted 09-21-2003 08:35 PM       View Profile for QjQ   Email QjQ   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for QjQ

                                    

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


9 posted 01-29-2008 08:45 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

JamesMichael-

Very much Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND
 
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