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Marilyn
Member Elite

since 1999-09-26

Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2012-07-16 11:19 AM

4 days ago I found out that the man I was in a 1 year and 10 month relationship with was cheating on me. When the news hit me I flashed red hot anger, pain and total disbelief that this really happened.

Now 4 days later I am feeling nothing. I don't long for him, I don't hurt, I am not angry, I am not really sure what I am. I am wondering if after all these years of being used and thrown away I am broken or.....

have I learned from those years and experiences and developed the ability to move on?

I loved him...we were planning our future..our wedding....

Am I broken?

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

1 posted 2012-07-16 01:36 PM

I think that sometimes the heart's defense against pain is not to feel anything. This is one of the first stages of grief.

Nlyoder
New Member

since 2013-01-18

Posts 1

2 posted 2013-01-18 04:52 PM

Have you been cheated on before? If you have, the heart is going to through something I call Relapse, Recovery". Now when something valuable is taken away, the heart, I mean brain, has "phantom Syndrome." When men come back from come back from war, without a leg or arm, sometimes they can still feel it. In the past this might have happened to you. The brain is now growing a resistance to this.

Essorant
Member Elite

since 2002-08-10

Posts 4769
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada

3 posted 2013-01-18 05:33 PM

What kind of cheating? Talk to him and see if he will be upfront and honest about it. Maybe you can deal with the problem and move on, together? It is always difficult, but never impossible.

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

4 posted 2013-01-18 09:08 PM

.

If a a civilized millionaire
had walked into your life
what would you have done

.

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-21

Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia

5 posted 2013-01-23 04:46 PM

Is love conditional?  Rational? Neurological?  Chemical?

It's true.  You don't feel anything now.  The neurons that were addicted to the dopamine and adrenaline have gone through withdrawal, or found a substitute.  That happens in any relationship anyway merely as a consequence of time.  It's then that you make a rational choice about  a relationship.

So.  Nope.

You aren't broken.   I am curious though, after six months, what is your perspective now?

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

6 posted 2013-01-23 07:56 PM

.

"You aren't broken. I am curious though, after six months, what is your perspective now? "

Good question . . .

.

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