Santa Monica, California, USA
Hi Jenn! I object to the fact that you did not source your inspiration for this thread, namely me.
I refer, of course to the private email I sent you yesterday which I quote here:
"I'm looking for a site to confirm the rumors that Palin had an affair with Drew Barrymore and both of McCain's parents were members of the PTA, a known communist front group. Palin has never denied the rumor, and McCain has never denounced his parents. I know these rumors to be true because I just made them up, and I'm a source second in infailability only to the Pope herself. (You knew that one, right, that the Pope was born a woman but underwent a sex change operation at a private Copenhagen clinic in October, 1955. The attending physician was Lars Knudsen, son of the founder of Knudsen Dairy, a major supplier of sour cream to the WPA, "Red" Roosevelt's welfare program for artists, writers, and other deviants in the 30's.) This might make for a great new Pip Forum: You Heard It Here First! -- where anyone is invited to make up anything, the more outrageous the better."
I of course, would never stoop to posting anything so scurrilous on this Family Friendly site, even though it is not particularly friendly towards me, and as far as I can tell I'm not only a family oriented guy, but in fact, have a family. And a cat who looks like Morris, but never made it to the big time. But then, I don't want to go off on a tangent.
I call upon Ron to close this thread immediately on the grounds that neither satire, sarcasm, irreverence, bullyragging, tangents, nor a decent pastrami on rye with mustard have a place in the Alley.
Now, when I post anything serious in the Alley, backed by a level of incontestible logic equalled only by Immanuel Kant in his "Critique of Pure Reason," and Yogi Berra in his post game interviews, I am routinely misquoted, misattributed, or just missed.
I know for a fact that the Pip community has been aligned against me from the start, when my last name was purposefully misspelled THREE CONSECUTIVE TIMES! Yes, there IS a "t" in my last name, and no, you don't pronounce it. Or if you do pronounce it, you shouldn't, just as I don't, my mother didn't, my father didn't, and at least two of my grandparents didn't. (The other two, being Murdochs, weren't quite as clear on the concept.)
I, for one, am tired of the abuse of the Alley by people whose opinions differ from my own, and urge them all to stop it in deference to their batters. Batters, as we all know, go sour when left unattended. And, while certain naturally occurring bacterial strains may improve the flavor of certain breads and pancakes, they add NOTHING positive to the texture or flavor of a white cake with haupia filling, the coconut custard which by itself justifies the cost of airfare to the Hawaiian Islands, even at the peak of the tourist season!
Because of the frequent admonisions to address the post, not the poster, I can only say that whomever started this thread had, at least, the intelligence to steal from the best. Me.
Yanking the chain and awaiting the flush, Jim with a silent "t" Aitken
[This message has been edited by oceanvu2 (10-06-2008 11:54 PM).]