Dear Huan Yi,
This sounds like a question that I should be able to answer, but when I try to think about it I find I don't understand it. I know I should understand it, but when I try to find some angle of approach to formulate an answer, the question seems to evaporate.
I might be able to take a shot at, "When is giving a person a book of any particular sort appropriate or not appropriate?" Or "What might a person have to do to make another person feel as though their intelligence was being insulted?"
Rather than deal hypothetically, I I like to think about these things in terms of my own experience and the experience of people I know or have worked with.
I have given and gotten books of poems from friends of both genders without anybody's intellect being visibly or audibly abused. If the poetry is tasteless, as Jim implied,
you may take your chances; or if your taste is not shared.
If your gift is sincere and well selected, and still the other person finds their intelligence has been insulted, you have more serious issues to worry about in your relationship than mutual taste in poetry. Male or female.
If this is the case, I've generally had a basic issue in the fit between my friend and myself that I need to address. I usually make a hash out of this until I'm lucky enough to realize whatever piece I have in keeping the stuff going. Sometimes, of course, this doesn't happen. When it does, I usually experience a release in the form of a blast of belly laughter at how silly I'm being. It's sort of an implosion rather than an explosion.
It generally helps me to think of the situation as an issue in the space between the two of us, and not inside either one of us. I realize this is not the kind of answer you may have been looking for, but it is the kind of response the question ended up summoning in me.
My best to you, BobK.