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Scary Wal-mart Adventure

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matronmedusa
Member
since 03-08-2008
Posts 88
Alabama, USA


0 posted 03-10-2008 10:58 AM       View Profile for matronmedusa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for matronmedusa


So my husband and I are at Walmart yesterday doing our weekly shopping; I have a 6 year old little girl, and a 9 year old boy.  My girl, Leah, was bouncing around the store dipping in and out of people's way, so we tell her, "Leah, stay by the basket and out of peoples' way."  She's by the basket for a whole 2 seconds before something else in a pretty package catches her attention: and off she goes, again, skipping along.  "Leah!  We said, STAY by the basket!"  She slinks back over to the basket again....for whole 2 seconds more (lol), then manages to hop in front of a heavy set older lady in one of those motorized cart/wheel-chair thingies and her husband.  Well, the lady had to stop abruptly for my daughter to pass in front of her.  My husband, who's now getting angry at having to tell Leah to pay attention and stay by the basket, puts his hand on top of her head and makes her look up at him. "Don't make me speak again," he says, and lets her go over to our basket.  

This lady then, causes a scene and yells out, "Don't you grab that little girl like that!"  Of course, everyone stops what they are doing and looks over at us.  

Enraged, my husband tells her, "She's my kid, and I'll discipline her!"  

The lady replies, "That's CHILD ABUSE!!!"  I am now mortified.

My husband starts walking back to her (her husband has not a word to say), and says, "Because I put my hand on my child's head?"

And that's when I simply tell her, "You need to mind your own #*%&# business;"  The only thing that comes to my head at the time; and I hear a couple of people around me reply, "For sure!"

Well, the lady threatens to call CPS (child protective services), and my husband tells her, "Go right ahead!  You don't see any bruises on her!  I'll gladly have a chat with them!"  And all the lady can do is huff and puff.  So, we continue on our shopping.

The whole time, all I can think is, "That lady doesn't know us.  She doesn't see how close Leah and her daddy are....she doesn't see those nights by the fireplace with Leah crawling on her daddy's head while he's tickling her toes....or the times that he scoops her up and puts her on his shoulders and bounces her around...or the times that she wakes up from a bad dream and crawls to daddy for comfort, who readily accepts her into his arms.  Daddy is her whole world.  Nor did she see how we had been telling Leah to stay out of people's way.  All this lady sees is a split second of what SHE perceives as "mean," and then takes it upon herself to decide what is best for OUR daughter.  I'm furious....and I start thinking of the "what-if's..."  What if that lady had called?  

Let's give a little description of myself and my husband:  I am 27, with tattoos and piercings (I am a professional tattoo artist), and my husband is bald with a goatee, also covered in tattoos.   Hmmmmm, do you think that might have played on her pre-conditioned fears?  The ignorance of humanity sickens me to my gut.  Would CPS have looked at us the same way?  Could they have actually taken my little girl away from her entire world just then??  And could you imagine the traumatizing fear, confusion, and hurt she would have gone through being pulled from everything she knows and loves dearly?  All because some lady thought she would be doing "the right thing."  

What is this society coming to??  It's like we've been conditioned for so long to judge each other based on what we perceive as right or wrong, that we’ve become are our own moral police force!!  It’s like we have to “put on” our personalities-- like clothes, before we can leave the house; lest we be judged by our neighbors and peers; constantly changing who we are to suit the moment at hand.   It’s like grade school never ended…..we all want to be teacher’s pet and are searching for our acceptance in the classroom…even if it means exploiting one’s shortcomings to highlight our own positive qualities.

Let me say this:  We are all in this crazy life together; all of us tripping along the way and picking ourselves back up.  It seems to me we spend more time pushing each other down and crawling over the bodies to see who acquires “righteousness” first;  than helping each other up so that we can all go on our way.  

As we were leaving the store, a middle-class white woman with nice clothes and two children are walking out.  The boy is picking on his little sister, and the mother tells him, “If you don’t cut that out right now, I’m going to beat you all the way to the car!”  I wonder what the fat lady in the wheel chair would have thought about that….and if she’d have said anything to her, too....

Or the black lady in the other isle that was struggling with 4 kids all by herself, grabbing one of them up to keep him from taking something off the shelf….  I also wonder if she’d have the energy or desire to go through the store, policing everyone dealing with a screaming child?  Why not go ahead and start in the parking lot too, and then move on to the neighborhoods,  going door to door to see if children are being handled “properly.”  No, probably not.  We just happened to be the ones in her face at the time.  

oceanvu2
Senior Member
since 02-24-2007
Posts 1007
Santa Monica, California, USA


1 posted 03-10-2008 11:40 AM       View Profile for oceanvu2   Email oceanvu2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for oceanvu2

There seems to be weird things happening all over.  Two stories:

While waiting outside to vote at an elementary school during the primary in California, I saw a boy in a fancy jacket with "TOMMY" on the back.  I said "Hi, Tommy."  He said "My name's not, Tommy!  I'm Burton."   OK, it dawned on me that he was wearing a "Tommy Helfinger" jacket.  I laughed at myself and reached out to touch him on the shoulder...and then immediately thought: I could get arrested for that!

I don't know if this reflects a general growing level of paranoia or whether the paranoia is specific to me,  but at some point paranoia has altered the level of common sense to include not patting an unknown child on the shoulder.  Understandable, but kind of sad at the same time.

Second story:  A long time friend of ours was so offended by our cat's stinky cat box that she call Adult Social Services to investigate whether or not I was abusing my bedbound wife!  The social worker showed up with two policeman in attendance to check us out.  Bizarre.  Of course nothing was going on, and by then I'd even chaged the stinky cat litter.  

So this brought up a question.  Since there are menacing pedophiles in the world, and there are wife beaters, and terrorists, how close an eye should we be keeping on our neighbors?  At what point does common sense lose out to busy-bodies?

I understand the notion of "better to err on the side of caution," but how far should that notion really go?

Best, Jimbeaux
SEA
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2 posted 03-10-2008 12:09 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

I do not believe CPS would have judged you on your tatts...I think they would have looked at your home, watched your daughter with your husband and they would have been very mad that they were called! You have jobs, and love your kids....that is what matters.(and they would have seen that) I would have told that lady off too...and not very nicely!!! I have a lot of tatts too, and people do tend to judge...that is sad, I don't judge folks without ink, why should they freak out cause I have art on me? It's so stupid...
That lady was just being an ignorant loud mouth...try to let it go and know it has nothing to do with you...it's her bad and she has to deal with it. You guys told her where to stick it, and that is more than good. She deserved it. If he had yanked her up rough by her arm or smacked her one right there, then you could(and should) worry...since he didn't, don't. I hope that anger wears off and you can just know in your heart she was a jerk!! Not you guys.
matronmedusa
Member
since 03-08-2008
Posts 88
Alabama, USA


3 posted 03-10-2008 12:27 PM       View Profile for matronmedusa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for matronmedusa

I was over it before we left the parking lot; I understand the idiocracies of the human nature....

More so, I almost feel sorry for her.  What a heavy burden it must be to judge another individual.
Essorant
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since 08-10-2002
Posts 4689
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada


4 posted 03-10-2008 01:35 PM       View Profile for Essorant   Email Essorant   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Essorant's Home Page   View IP for Essorant

What do you know about the ten tattoos that she may have hidden and her belly-button peircing?  Or her grandson, that is covered from head to toe in tattoos and peircing, that means the world to her?

If she overreacted for your child, at least she seemed to do so in concern for your child's sake.   I think it is mistake to treat it as if she was somehow indirectly making tattoos and piercings an issue.  


Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


5 posted 03-10-2008 03:14 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

You so sure about that, Essorant? She could have simply been a buttinsky. If you don't know what that is, then come to Florida and I'll show you a few thousand. If she were simply concerned for the child's welfare, she could still have said something in a more respectful manner. The fact that she attacked shows that's what floats her boat. More people than you can know wake up in the morning and plan on correcting as many people or actions that they can find. Because of their own inadequacies? Who knows, but they don't let opportunities go by. I doubt I'm telling you anything about human nature you don't know.

Stereotyping? That's nothing new. Let a Hell's Angel walk into a convenience store and you'll see women holding their purses a little tighter. If you want to blame anything, try tv and movies. Those are the images they portray. How many bad guys sport tattoos or weird hairdos or piercings? After a few hundred thousand times of seeing those images on tv, why wouldn't a medium to lower IQ'd person cringe at the close proximity of a tattooed, pierced individual or believe that they do nasty things, even be bad parents? No, it shouldn't be that way but not to realize that that's the way it is would be foolish.

I'm sorry that happened to you, miss. It shouldn't have and it was not right. The problem is the damage people like these can cause due to a society spurring on a government to engage in this over-meddlesomeness (a new word). If it were just getting a look because of your tattoos or piercings, which i'm sure you have, you can simply ignore it. WHen it comes down to possibly going through a home investigation or even losing your child, then it has gone way too far.

Where does this overprotectionist come from? Beats me. Blame the lawyers and lawsuits. Blame our overreationsism. Blame Toerag. Parents cannot discipline their children, teachers cannot disipline their students....and our current society is the result.

If it happens again, tell the woman you are going to take her some, carve her up and have her for dinner is she doesn't leave you alone...that should send her scurrying out of there!
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


6 posted 03-10-2008 04:16 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Nah...let's not blame Toe.
effjayel
Senior Member
since 09-30-2007
Posts 1362
At the Crossroads of Infinity


7 posted 03-10-2008 05:36 PM       View Profile for effjayel   Email effjayel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for effjayel

I agree, Leave Toe alone, it's that Nose you got to watch out for!   Seriously, I was trying to attract my daughters attention through the school fence a few months ago, and wouldn't you know it I was there for a long 10 minutes before giving up & walking away. As I did so, I noticed 2 concerned citizens pointing at me and giving me dirty looks. I can understand genuine concern given the society we are living in however, what these 2 pillars of the community could not know was that I am on the board of governors at this school, have been checked to hell & back by  the authorities and was 1 of the people behind tha at risk register being implemented in the school & also serve on the local church parish council...the real annoying thing is this happened not 30 feet from where a young man was kicked to death and nobody called the cops....'nuff said
Grinch
Member Elite
since 12-31-2005
Posts 2710
Whoville


8 posted 03-10-2008 05:39 PM       View Profile for Grinch   Email Grinch   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Grinch


I wonder what the chances are of one of those buttinskys actual getting it right and saving a child from abuse. One in a thousand? One in a hundred thousand? Let’s be really sceptical let’s say one in a million.

Even with those odds of getting it right I’m prepared to cut the buttinskys a little slack, you could even double or treble those odds and I wouldn’t even be close to changing my opinion.

If it ever happens again my advice is take a deep breath, imagine that yesterday was her one in a million times and that the mistake she’s making today means that she’s one step closer to getting it right again.

Just one way of looking at it.
SEA
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since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


9 posted 03-10-2008 06:00 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

"You so sure about that, Essorant? She could have simply been a buttinsky. If you don't know what that is, then come to Florida and I'll show you a few thousand. If she were simply concerned for the child's welfare, she could still have said something in a more respectful manner. The fact that she attacked shows that's what floats her boat. More people than you can know wake up in the morning and plan on correcting as many people or actions that they can find. Because of their own inadequacies? Who knows, but they don't let opportunities go by. I doubt I'm telling you anything about human nature you don't know."

thank you Balladeer... I agree.  
wisdomofthesword
Member
since 12-17-2007
Posts 222
the last place on earth


10 posted 03-10-2008 06:49 PM       View Profile for wisdomofthesword   Email wisdomofthesword   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wisdomofthesword

i also have a passion for tattoos and get judged on how i look and what in wearing (you can't see any tattoos when im wearing a business shirt) people don't seem to see it as an art form. I agree with a lot of the things said the world is becoming to PC and it only makes life harder for good people who are doing nothing wrong.

something thats stupid but works isn't stupid

matronmedusa
Member
since 03-08-2008
Posts 88
Alabama, USA


11 posted 03-10-2008 09:44 PM       View Profile for matronmedusa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for matronmedusa

I want to thank each and every one of your points of view.  

It's good to see that there's still a place to express yourself without feeling like you are an outcast for it.  

This really means a lot...in many deep and challenging ways.
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


12 posted 03-11-2008 12:43 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

I think I'll step off my soapbox (deletes my response) and say only that hysteria often stems from ignorance.

This woman sounds ignorant.

How I wish that we had no reason to worry about child abuse though.

A
Jessica
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Member
since 06-28-2001
Posts 474
South AL


13 posted 03-11-2008 02:18 AM       View Profile for Jessica   Email Jessica   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jessica's Home Page   View IP for Jessica

I don't know if anyone remembers me... it's been a very long time.  
  Matron... Been there and done that. I have a three y/o little girl that's really giving me a hard time right now. When I was reading I could just see me and my husband. And I would have done the same thing. Where in AL are you from?
               Jessica
matronmedusa
Member
since 03-08-2008
Posts 88
Alabama, USA


14 posted 03-11-2008 08:52 AM       View Profile for matronmedusa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for matronmedusa

Mobile, near the coast.
 
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