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Scary Wal-mart Adventure
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Scary Wal-mart Adventure |
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matronmedusa Member
since 2008-03-08
Posts 89Alabama, USA |
So my husband and I are at Walmart yesterday doing our weekly shopping; I have a 6 year old little girl, and a 9 year old boy. My girl, Leah, was bouncing around the store dipping in and out of people's way, so we tell her, "Leah, stay by the basket and out of peoples' way." She's by the basket for a whole 2 seconds before something else in a pretty package catches her attention: and off she goes, again, skipping along. "Leah! We said, STAY by the basket!" She slinks back over to the basket again....for whole 2 seconds more (lol), then manages to hop in front of a heavy set older lady in one of those motorized cart/wheel-chair thingies and her husband. Well, the lady had to stop abruptly for my daughter to pass in front of her. My husband, who's now getting angry at having to tell Leah to pay attention and stay by the basket, puts his hand on top of her head and makes her look up at him. "Don't make me speak again," he says, and lets her go over to our basket. This lady then, causes a scene and yells out, "Don't you grab that little girl like that!" Of course, everyone stops what they are doing and looks over at us. Enraged, my husband tells her, "She's my kid, and I'll discipline her!" The lady replies, "That's CHILD ABUSE!!!" I am now mortified. My husband starts walking back to her (her husband has not a word to say), and says, "Because I put my hand on my child's head?" And that's when I simply tell her, "You need to mind your own #*%&# business;" The only thing that comes to my head at the time; and I hear a couple of people around me reply, "For sure!" Well, the lady threatens to call CPS (child protective services), and my husband tells her, "Go right ahead! You don't see any bruises on her! I'll gladly have a chat with them!" And all the lady can do is huff and puff. So, we continue on our shopping. The whole time, all I can think is, "That lady doesn't know us. She doesn't see how close Leah and her daddy are....she doesn't see those nights by the fireplace with Leah crawling on her daddy's head while he's tickling her toes....or the times that he scoops her up and puts her on his shoulders and bounces her around...or the times that she wakes up from a bad dream and crawls to daddy for comfort, who readily accepts her into his arms. Daddy is her whole world. Nor did she see how we had been telling Leah to stay out of people's way. All this lady sees is a split second of what SHE perceives as "mean," and then takes it upon herself to decide what is best for OUR daughter. I'm furious....and I start thinking of the "what-if's..." What if that lady had called? Let's give a little description of myself and my husband: I am 27, with tattoos and piercings (I am a professional tattoo artist), and my husband is bald with a goatee, also covered in tattoos. Hmmmmm, do you think that might have played on her pre-conditioned fears? The ignorance of humanity sickens me to my gut. Would CPS have looked at us the same way? Could they have actually taken my little girl away from her entire world just then?? And could you imagine the traumatizing fear, confusion, and hurt she would have gone through being pulled from everything she knows and loves dearly? All because some lady thought she would be doing "the right thing." What is this society coming to?? It's like we've been conditioned for so long to judge each other based on what we perceive as right or wrong, that we’ve become are our own moral police force!! It’s like we have to “put on” our personalities-- like clothes, before we can leave the house; lest we be judged by our neighbors and peers; constantly changing who we are to suit the moment at hand. It’s like grade school never ended…..we all want to be teacher’s pet and are searching for our acceptance in the classroom…even if it means exploiting one’s shortcomings to highlight our own positive qualities. Let me say this: We are all in this crazy life together; all of us tripping along the way and picking ourselves back up. It seems to me we spend more time pushing each other down and crawling over the bodies to see who acquires “righteousness” first; than helping each other up so that we can all go on our way. As we were leaving the store, a middle-class white woman with nice clothes and two children are walking out. The boy is picking on his little sister, and the mother tells him, “If you don’t cut that out right now, I’m going to beat you all the way to the car!” I wonder what the fat lady in the wheel chair would have thought about that….and if she’d have said anything to her, too.... Or the black lady in the other isle that was struggling with 4 kids all by herself, grabbing one of them up to keep him from taking something off the shelf…. I also wonder if she’d have the energy or desire to go through the store, policing everyone dealing with a screaming child? Why not go ahead and start in the parking lot too, and then move on to the neighborhoods, going door to door to see if children are being handled “properly.” No, probably not. We just happened to be the ones in her face at the time. |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
There seems to be weird things happening all over. Two stories: While waiting outside to vote at an elementary school during the primary in California, I saw a boy in a fancy jacket with "TOMMY" on the back. I said "Hi, Tommy." He said "My name's not, Tommy! I'm Burton." OK, it dawned on me that he was wearing a "Tommy Helfinger" jacket. I laughed at myself and reached out to touch him on the shoulder...and then immediately thought: I could get arrested for that! I don't know if this reflects a general growing level of paranoia or whether the paranoia is specific to me, but at some point paranoia has altered the level of common sense to include not patting an unknown child on the shoulder. Understandable, but kind of sad at the same time. Second story: A long time friend of ours was so offended by our cat's stinky cat box that she call Adult Social Services to investigate whether or not I was abusing my bedbound wife! The social worker showed up with two policeman in attendance to check us out. Bizarre. Of course nothing was going on, and by then I'd even chaged the stinky cat litter. So this brought up a question. Since there are menacing pedophiles in the world, and there are wife beaters, and terrorists, how close an eye should we be keeping on our neighbors? At what point does common sense lose out to busy-bodies? I understand the notion of "better to err on the side of caution," but how far should that notion really go? Best, Jimbeaux  |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I do not believe CPS would have judged you on your tatts...I think they would have looked at your home, watched your daughter with your husband and they would have been very mad that they were called! You have jobs, and love your kids....that is what matters.(and they would have seen that) I would have told that lady off too...and not very nicely!!! I have a lot of tatts too, and people do tend to judge...that is sad, I don't judge folks without ink, why should they freak out cause I have art on me? It's so stupid... That lady was just being an ignorant loud mouth...try to let it go and know it has nothing to do with you...it's her bad and she has to deal with it. You guys told her where to stick it, and that is more than good. She deserved it. If he had yanked her up rough by her arm or smacked her one right there, then you could(and should) worry...since he didn't, don't. I hope that anger wears off and you can just know in your heart she was a jerk!! Not you guys. |
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matronmedusa Member
since 2008-03-08
Posts 89Alabama, USA |
I was over it before we left the parking lot; I understand the idiocracies of the human nature.... More so, I almost feel sorry for her. What a heavy burden it must be to judge another individual.  |
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Essorant Member Elite
since 2002-08-10
Posts 4769Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada |
What do you know about the ten tattoos that she may have hidden and her belly-button peircing? Or her grandson, that is covered from head to toe in tattoos and peircing, that means the world to her? If she overreacted for your child, at least she seemed to do so in concern for your child's sake. I think it is mistake to treat it as if she was somehow indirectly making tattoos and piercings an issue. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
You so sure about that, Essorant? She could have simply been a buttinsky. If you don't know what that is, then come to Florida and I'll show you a few thousand. If she were simply concerned for the child's welfare, she could still have said something in a more respectful manner. The fact that she attacked shows that's what floats her boat. More people than you can know wake up in the morning and plan on correcting as many people or actions that they can find. Because of their own inadequacies? Who knows, but they don't let opportunities go by. I doubt I'm telling you anything about human nature you don't know. Stereotyping? That's nothing new. Let a Hell's Angel walk into a convenience store and you'll see women holding their purses a little tighter. If you want to blame anything, try tv and movies. Those are the images they portray. How many bad guys sport tattoos or weird hairdos or piercings? After a few hundred thousand times of seeing those images on tv, why wouldn't a medium to lower IQ'd person cringe at the close proximity of a tattooed, pierced individual or believe that they do nasty things, even be bad parents? No, it shouldn't be that way but not to realize that that's the way it is would be foolish. I'm sorry that happened to you, miss. It shouldn't have and it was not right. The problem is the damage people like these can cause due to a society spurring on a government to engage in this over-meddlesomeness (a new word). If it were just getting a look because of your tattoos or piercings, which i'm sure you have, you can simply ignore it. WHen it comes down to possibly going through a home investigation or even losing your child, then it has gone way too far. Where does this overprotectionist come from? Beats me. Blame the lawyers and lawsuits. Blame our overreationsism. Blame Toerag. Parents cannot discipline their children, teachers cannot disipline their students....and our current society is the result. If it happens again, tell the woman you are going to take her some, carve her up and have her for dinner is she doesn't leave you alone...that should send her scurrying out of there!  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Nah...let's not blame Toe. |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity |
I agree, Leave Toe alone, it's that Nose you got to watch out for!  Seriously, I was trying to attract my daughters attention through the school fence a few months ago, and wouldn't you know it I was there for a long 10 minutes before giving up & walking away. As I did so, I noticed 2 concerned citizens pointing at me and giving me dirty looks. I can understand genuine concern given the society we are living in however, what these 2 pillars of the community could not know was that I am on the board of governors at this school, have been checked to hell & back by the authorities and was 1 of the people behind tha at risk register being implemented in the school & also serve on the local church parish council...the real annoying thing is this happened not 30 feet from where a young man was kicked to death and nobody called the cops....'nuff said |
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Grinch Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929Whoville |
I wonder what the chances are of one of those buttinskys actual getting it right and saving a child from abuse. One in a thousand? One in a hundred thousand? Let’s be really sceptical let’s say one in a million. Even with those odds of getting it right I’m prepared to cut the buttinskys a little slack, you could even double or treble those odds and I wouldn’t even be close to changing my opinion. If it ever happens again my advice is take a deep breath, imagine that yesterday was her one in a million times and that the mistake she’s making today means that she’s one step closer to getting it right again. Just one way of looking at it. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"You so sure about that, Essorant? She could have simply been a buttinsky. If you don't know what that is, then come to Florida and I'll show you a few thousand. If she were simply concerned for the child's welfare, she could still have said something in a more respectful manner. The fact that she attacked shows that's what floats her boat. More people than you can know wake up in the morning and plan on correcting as many people or actions that they can find. Because of their own inadequacies? Who knows, but they don't let opportunities go by. I doubt I'm telling you anything about human nature you don't know." thank you Balladeer... I agree. |
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wisdomofthesword Member
since 2007-12-17
Posts 224the last place on earth |
i also have a passion for tattoos and get judged on how i look and what in wearing (you can't see any tattoos when im wearing a business shirt) people don't seem to see it as an art form. I agree with a lot of the things said the world is becoming to PC and it only makes life harder for good people who are doing nothing wrong. something thats stupid but works isn't stupid |
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matronmedusa Member
since 2008-03-08
Posts 89Alabama, USA |
I want to thank each and every one of your points of view. It's good to see that there's still a place to express yourself without feeling like you are an outcast for it. This really means a lot...in many deep and challenging ways. |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I think I'll step off my soapbox (deletes my response) and say only that hysteria often stems from ignorance. This woman sounds ignorant. How I wish that we had no reason to worry about child abuse though. A |
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Jessica
since 2001-06-28
Posts 350South AL |
I don't know if anyone remembers me... it's been a very long time. Matron... Been there and done that. I have a three y/o little girl that's really giving me a hard time right now. When I was reading I could just see me and my husband. And I would have done the same thing. Where in AL are you from? Jessica |
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matronmedusa Member
since 2008-03-08
Posts 89Alabama, USA |
Mobile, near the coast. |
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