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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 10-12-2004
Posts 6334
Waukegan


0 posted 08-19-2005 08:07 PM       View Profile for Huan Yi   Email Huan Yi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Huan Yi


Everyone has one life.
Of that, at least, everyone is certain.

Given that,
regardless of all else,

how long should someone
stay with someone
one simply does not love?

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


1 posted 08-19-2005 08:15 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

a nanosecond? or maybe a nonosecond?
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


2 posted 08-19-2005 08:51 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

quote:
how long should someone
stay with someone
one simply does not love?

It will always remain
a personal question
and a personal
quest.


LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
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since 01-08-2000
Posts 5015


3 posted 08-19-2005 09:24 PM       View Profile for LoveBug   Email LoveBug   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LoveBug

The other person probably knows....
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 05-19-99
Posts 9708
Michigan, US


4 posted 08-19-2005 10:55 PM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

I don't know.

How long did they promise to stay?
Essorant
Member Elite
since 08-10-2002
Posts 4689
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada


5 posted 08-20-2005 01:11 AM       View Profile for Essorant   Email Essorant   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Essorant's Home Page   View IP for Essorant

He should stay as long as they may mutually wish together to be together.  

But if there is such need that someone's life without a doubt shall be endangered by him leaving, then despite any love or hate, he ought to stay as long as he is needed.  For life is much more important than love and hate.
Hypatia
Junior Member
since 03-22-2004
Posts 18


6 posted 08-20-2005 03:28 AM       View Profile for Hypatia   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Hypatia

I find myself yet again, questioning the question--as you state something as affirmative that I must investigate, perhaps more personally than you might like.

You state that everyone has one life.

That's quite an assumption of belief.

Not 'everyone' believes that. Yet you choose to follow that absurdity as fact with the assurance that

"Of that, at least, 'everyone' is certain."

Really?

Who is "everyone"?

And yet you seem to anticipate that, and dismiss it at once with the following:

"Given that,
regardless of all else,"

Regardless of what else? And why the disregard?

Your last query has left me completely nonplussed.

I simply don't see the connection.

As I read the replies, however, the only reply that I find completely logical and unbiased would be that which is attributed to "Ron", who also had questions to your initiate query:

He asked: "How long did they promise to stay?"

Perhaps if you were more specific in your questions, a more logical answer would be forthcoming.
Essorant
Member Elite
since 08-10-2002
Posts 4689
Regina, Saskatchewan; Canada


7 posted 08-20-2005 07:18 PM       View Profile for Essorant   Email Essorant   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Essorant's Home Page   View IP for Essorant

Hypatia

I don't think Huan Yi was ruling out the possibly of another life.  But it seemed to me he was saying that everyone only has one life right now that he or she may be certain of.  

Surely there is possiblity one had or may have another life.  But how may anyone be certain of any life but the only one he has right now?  

Just some thoughts.  
Huan Yi
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since 10-12-2004
Posts 6334
Waukegan


8 posted 08-20-2005 11:59 PM       View Profile for Huan Yi   Email Huan Yi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Huan Yi

“Many people take a superficial and careless attitude toward life. Their philosophy is, "eat, drink, and be merry" Pleasure and leisure has its place in life. We ought to make a place for it, and not work ourselves to death (Ecc 8:15). Pleasure, however, is not the point and purpose of life. God condemns "gaiety and gladness" when people should be regarding their sins with sorrow and their God with fear. Their attitude toward life, "Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we may die" is foolish. Instead, they ought to lay aside eating and drinking, and they should fast and pray and be in sorrow until they have made themselves right with God (Isa 22:13). Paul quotes this passage in Isaiah as an appropriate attitude toward life only if there is no resurrection of the dead, only if death is the end of everything (1Co 15:32-34).”


http://members.datafast.net.au/sggram/f884.htm

There’s central issue.

[This message has been edited by Huan Yi (08-21-2005 12:00 AM).]

Ron
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Member Rara Avis
since 05-19-99
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Michigan, US


9 posted 08-21-2005 01:52 AM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

Maybe we should open up a Quotes and Links section just for John? Or perhaps one for Unanswered Questions?

Go ahead, John. Take a stand. We don't bite, and after all, that's sort of what Discussion forums are geared to do.
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 03-02-2003
Posts 9998
New York


10 posted 08-21-2005 02:54 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

*laughing with Ron*

Carpe diem . . .
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


11 posted 08-21-2005 11:52 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

we don't bite?

well... not HARD...
Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 10-12-2004
Posts 6334
Waukegan


12 posted 08-22-2005 12:04 AM       View Profile for Huan Yi   Email Huan Yi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Huan Yi


Actually Stephen and I are sorting things out
on another thread.

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 06-19-2003
Posts 13093
SE PA


13 posted 08-22-2005 02:50 PM       View Profile for LeeJ   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LeeJ

John, this to me is a loaded question, depending on individual circumstances, how mature each of the two are...if they've gone for professional help, is it an abusive marriage, keeping in mind that mental abuse can be just as devestating as physical abuse.  Is one or the other abusing drugs, alcohol...etc?

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 10-12-2004
Posts 6334
Waukegan


14 posted 08-22-2005 05:18 PM       View Profile for Huan Yi   Email Huan Yi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Huan Yi

Lee,

No abuse,
no drugs,
no alcohol, etc., etc.;

just simply no love,
and no confidence as to a future
after it’s all over.

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 06-19-2003
Posts 13093
SE PA


15 posted 08-23-2005 07:06 AM       View Profile for LeeJ   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LeeJ

very sorry to hear that John

well then, all I have to say is this...

people constantly grow and change, and sometimes with that change comes a change in feelings...although, I can honestly say, if it were me...there will always be a love/respect within, for the man/men that were very kind, understanding and mature responsible folks.

But sometimes, people grow out of love I suppose...they still love and respect one another, but, they simply cannot remain together.  It is a very sad time...

I've always felt, if someone came along who loved and respected himself, he would then treat me the same, and even though we didn't love each other at first sight, a caring, patient friendship, just might mutually blend into something more?  Who could not help but love someone who treated them with respect, who would be willing to allow me to still persue an education, my hobbies, friends, who would not stand back and be intimidated, but would enjoy joining, as I would his life.  

I don't know John, as I don't personally know the situation, which is very personal between two...only they know what would mutually be right for everyone involved, and that's the key, it isn't just about one person, or two, but family as well, which should also be a consideration.   Have they tried counseling together?  That might be an option to help them rekindle a love they once felt for each other.  Two must be able to consider the other's feelings, to self evaluate.  

Relationships are not easy, sometimes very hard work...which does build not only a future, but change...and sometimes people are threatened by change...but one cannot stagnate a person's future, b/c the other might want to explore a different direction, such as a new hobbie, a new career, new friends, instead, if the person who is feeling left behind allows and joins in, just think how lovely their lives could flower.  

This always reminds me of the movie...Shall We Dance...perfect example.  I believe at first she was jealous that he found another interest, new friends, and loved dancing, she felt left out, but in the end, realized he needed some space, it wasn't another woman, it was a need to feel sucessful at something...on his own...something special for him....when she realized that, she not only allowed, but encouraged him, which was a very unselfish and loving, mature gesture.  Way to many people want to control the lives of their mates...to rant and rave and be intimidated by their mates independence...or desire to grow and flourish.  

The world evolves, and spins like a top, change is inevidiable...in each and every life...it is needed to refresh and revive, to learn and continue a journey...and each individual person has a journey, to explore and accomplish...if one tries to stagnate that accomplishment of change, then, two lives, maybe more are so devestatingly effected.  

The ability to allow & encourage other peoples happiness, even our children, friends, is the key.  To rejoice for their successes, to be there for their failures, not to say, "I told you so" but for support...I suppose what I'm saying is if and when you love someone in that way, your recieve back, two fold?

This to me, is my idea of love.  And love changes like everything else, it just takes two very mature people to sit down and calmly communicate their wants and needs, which may not always include the other person, but when one allows that person to experience, I betcha, in most cases, they will return, not only rejuvinated, but feeling a much stronger and mature love for their mate.  Now of course, this does not in any way, suggest an extra marital affair.

I hope in some small way, I've helped John.

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