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Passions in Poetry

Cheating for her children

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Local Parasite
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Transylconia, Winnipeg


0 posted 08-11-2005 08:21 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

Right now, there's a contest going on at some Canadian stores, where children can enter a draw to win a trip to New York to see Hilary Duff in concert.  The contest details are here.
http://www.family.ca/winit/hilaryduff/rules.php

To put it simply, each store involved had its own "random" draw for entrants to be put into a second Grand Prize draw.

My sister's daughter would love to see Hilary Duff in concert, as I'm sure many children would.  So, she got her boyfriend, an HMV employee, on the day of the draw, to falsify a ballot entry, "crumple it up," and pretend that it was the winner of the store's draw.  Her daughter had also put in 50 other ballot entries at other stores and won in another of them.

I can't believe that I'm the only one in my entire family who finds this absolutely disgusting.  As soon as my sister told me about this, I blew up at her (inappropriately, maybe) about how she thinks her daughter deserves special treatment over all the other children who've entered the contest, enough to rig an entire store draw on her behalf.  Her argument is that her daughter would "really love to see Hilary Duff in concert," and I don't doubt that, but I'm sure her daughter's no different than any other child who was entered into the draw.

Now, I don't think I need to explain what's wrong with this, but I'm honestly concerned about the kind of message this is sending to my niece (who was grinning ear to ear as her mother boasted of her misdeed).  She's at an impressionable age, and she's starting to learn right from wrong... she needs to learn a kind of remorse, one way or the other.

I'm tempted to take some course of action here, considering I'm the only one of her relatives that knows about this.  Does anyone here have some advice regarding this kind of issue?  Am I over-reacting?  (I don't think this would bother me so much if it wasn't the rigging of a children's contest).  I'm pretty steamed right now, but I honestly feel like I've got to do something...

Thanks
Brian
Local Rebel
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1 posted 08-11-2005 08:30 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

what are your options?
Local Parasite
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2 posted 08-11-2005 08:31 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

I have no idea.  I learned about this about fifteen minutes ago.

I wish I could talk to my niece about this.  She's young, but not too young to understand what's wrong with this.
Alicat
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since 05-23-99
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3 posted 08-11-2005 08:35 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

LP, I can see only losers in this situation.  

If you do nothing, your niece will be well on the road to doing anything necessary to win, regardless of morals, ethics, rules or laws.  Her reaction to her mom's defense gives credence to that theory.

If you inform on the forgery and contest rigging, you'll lose your niece, sister, and any other family member that believes her over you for an unspecified duration of time.  Some 'betrayals' can last lifetimes and then some, the 'sins of the father' being passed on as an heirloom.

Both actions have costs.  Which one are you willing to pay?

My sincere condolences on your situation.  Such are never easy or simple, and carry harsh consequences.
littlewing
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since 03-02-2003
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4 posted 08-11-2005 10:55 PM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

I completely agree with you, Brian.  

It is the adult who needs talking to, not the child.  God, that upsets me, it really does because I try so hard to teach moral and ethical values to my son it makes me afraid to let him out into the world, although I cannot shelter him either.

Oddly enough, this reminded me of both Bush elections.

You need to speak to her, your sister.
I would have freaked out, too.  I spent many years looking after my nephew, who is now 20 because of many of the same reasons you mention above.

It will be hard, but geez, she needs to know that what she tells her daughter is wrong and if she chooses to do things like that, then keep it to herself.  

I would not go so far as anything legal, rather talking to her, if she can be talked to, that is.  

As a sidenote, after re-reading, maybe a little talk with your neice about ethics.  How old is she?

Good Luck, I know it will be tough.
Mysteria
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5 posted 08-11-2005 11:25 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Well...Ali has the right question to you and it depends on the price you want to pay for being true to yourself Brian.  I think what the parents are allowing is terrible, as this will teach her to cheat her way through life and one day doing that bites you in the butt big time!  I think you are the most incredibly smartest young man I have ever (not) met and will do or no do the right thing.   

What she did was dishonest, and sooner or later someone should explain the difference between right and wrong choices to this young woman before it is too late.
Essorant
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6 posted 08-11-2005 11:59 PM       View Profile for Essorant   Email Essorant   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Essorant's Home Page   View IP for Essorant


Tell them if they try to take the prize that you will certainly tell the managers they cheated and don't deserve it.  

[This message has been edited by Essorant (08-12-2005 12:18 AM).]

LeeJ
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since 06-19-2003
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7 posted 08-12-2005 11:52 AM       View Profile for LeeJ   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LeeJ

Must agree with Ali on this one, and believe me, the outcome for you might be very painful for years, but if it helps your neice see clearly, then if it were me, the sacrifice would be worth it...but that is just me talking...so think things thru very clearly, as you could be banned from their lives for the rest of yours.  Can you deal with the consequences of your actions, for the sake of another life?

Hugs sweet lady...
Martie
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8 posted 08-12-2005 01:07 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Brian

Children learn by example, or natural consaquences. What would happen if the authorities found out about this?  I think you are right to be concerned and angry.
Sunshine
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9 posted 08-12-2005 01:38 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

To let it go unreported to the proper store authorities - would be enabling your sister's methods, and silence would be condoning them, even though you are justifiably right to be angry with her ill-conceived methods of cheating.

And there's more than your family in this too.

What about the store employee?

And if you let it all go, then what are you going to say to your sister in 15-20 years, when her daughter, your niece, is picked up for similar matters?

Essorant
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10 posted 08-12-2005 06:02 PM       View Profile for Essorant   Email Essorant   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Essorant's Home Page   View IP for Essorant

If they just leave the contest alone and ignore it the contest prize shall probably just go to someone else, and there won't be any need to tell anyone what your sister did.
Local Parasite
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11 posted 08-12-2005 06:25 PM       View Profile for Local Parasite   Email Local Parasite   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Local Parasite's Home Page   View IP for Local Parasite

I don't think I should report this.  First of all, I don't have much by way of evidence, and I'm not sure exactly how I would go about doing this anyways.

Second of all, reporting it would cause a lot of rage to be aimed in my direction.  If, on the other hand, she wins, her guilt will be able to inform her conscience.  I'm thinking my only hope here is to convince my sister to decline the prize, if her daughter does win, as a last chance to redeem herself.  

I will talk to my niece.  Some of you were wondering her age, and I don't think I want to be that specific about personal information over the internet, so I'll just say she's pre-teen, post-toddler.  I do get the chance to talk to her one-on-one a lot, as I babysit and watch her and her brother from time to time.  This is probably the best solution.

Right now, I think it's my responsibility to convince my sister to go back on this, rather than try and undo her wrong-doings behind her back.  I recognize the problem, but am starting to think taking matters into my own hands will ultimately be a bad choice.

On another note, I need a new picture, if I'm still being mistaken for a woman (a "sweet" one, no less)!  Maybe pictures of me with a beard and a tuxedo would be a good idea.
timothysangel1973
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12 posted 08-12-2005 07:32 PM       View Profile for timothysangel1973   Email timothysangel1973   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit timothysangel1973's Home Page   View IP for timothysangel1973

Well Now Bri... aint nothing wrong with being a woman hehe

and?

I think you have made the right choice

Tima

The Captive Heart
www.imaginedezines.com/poetry

Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
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13 posted 08-12-2005 08:25 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Bri... listen to your heart/follow your instincts... you are always so in tune...

I know youll be an awesome influence on her as she grows up.

I'll bare the brunt of your long buried pain
I don't mind helping you out ...
But I want you to remember my name

Alanis

serenity blaze
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14 posted 08-12-2005 09:54 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I think talking to your niece is the right thing.

It's important that she have a different example and opinion to follow, and it is also important to the integrity of your relationship with your niece that she understand that honesty is part of your character and something that you hold in esteem in others, as well as expect, especially from her.

She will know for the rest of her life that her uncle is someone she can count on to be honest.

It appears she may need you later. So let her know now, what you think.

She will remember it always, especially if you emphasize that you can disapprove of an action and still love the person.



and smiling at you. Bravo Brian.
Greeneyes
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Member Patricius
since 09-09-2000
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15 posted 08-13-2005 08:03 PM       View Profile for Greeneyes   Email Greeneyes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Greeneyes

the simple truth this is about teaching children right from wrong....I have no doubt the right thing will be done....

cheating is cheating no matter how you look at it....

good luck..

~~**~~
You're so vain
you probably think this
song is about you
~~**~~

Sunshine
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16 posted 08-13-2005 09:54 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

"If, on the other hand, she wins"

Ok.  I mis-read your first post, and thought that this was a done deal.

So let's just hope she doesn't win.

And you can STILL talk to your niece.

So dig up a new photo already - I'm waiting!!!



Thank you Brian, for being YOU!
Midnitesun
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17 posted 08-14-2005 03:30 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

Sadly, it sounds like whatever you choose to do, the situation will be very uncomfortable. I happen to believe the only recourse is to let everyone know you are unhappy with this, as it condones cheating, and sends a very bad message to the child. No matter how you slice that victory cake, it will gag you forever if you stay silent.
And let it be known, I voiced a 'negative' opinion in the past in a parallel situation, and was soundly rejected (still am) by the family members. But my conscience is clear, and that means more to me than embracing cheating family members. I realize not everyone will agree with this, but that's how I resolved the problem. Someday, I hope they will understand why I can't go down that road, not even for family. I just have to love them from a distance now.
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