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Passions in Poetry

"You Stink!"

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serenity blaze
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0 posted 07-26-2005 10:11 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I realize it's hot, but...

Is there a nice way to tell someone that they stink?

"Pardon me, but you seem to have an odor."

I can't think think of a single nice way to tell someone that--and I thought of buying her a nice bath set and slip in some deodorant, too. I still think that would be pretty obvious though.

and okay, I realize that my teeny rant seems inconsequential, but I am running out of Febreeze, here, folks. And it's looking like August is going to be just as bad.

Any suggestions welcome.

signed,

sniffing, water-eyed in new orleans


Midnitesun
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1 posted 07-26-2005 10:39 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

eau de l'human skunk again?
there's never been any pleasant way that I know of
ya just havta scrunch up yer nose 'n holler p*u! what IZZIT????

at least you try to be tactful and gentle
Greeneyes
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Member Patricius
since 09-09-2000
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2 posted 07-26-2005 10:43 PM       View Profile for Greeneyes   Email Greeneyes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Greeneyes

I think a nice bath set is a good idea....these days most of the bath shops have baskets you can make up yourself....I know Bath and Body works have natural deoradants to choose from, just tell her you tried it and thought she might like it?

if not perfume might work....

In your light I learn how to love
In your beauty how to make poems
You dance inside my chest where
no one sees you and that sight becomes this art

Alicat
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since 05-23-99
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3 posted 07-26-2005 11:07 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Most don't know how to apply perfume properly, and you can always tell, or smell em, from a good 15-20 feet away.  They know they's funky, so think ample perfume will banish the stank.  All they manage to do is replace the stank with a more serious stank.  Ever have the chance to smell rotten flowers in high humidity and heat, combined with one's personal scent?  Not pretty.

Alternately, you could pull out a cig, if'n ya smoke, and when they state you can't do that in a store, reply 'well, at least this way I get an air filter'.  They might take the hint.  Or, of course, there's always honesty.  Just be a bit tactful and mention yourself.  'It's so sticky out...I prolly reek to high heavens!  Lemme go and fix this before flies gather.' would probably give a sublter hint than 'Is that you, or the smell of festering corpses?'
Tim
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4 posted 07-27-2005 12:05 AM       View Profile for Tim   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Tim

Depending on the circumstances and the length of the encounter, I might suggest a tad of Vicks Vapor rub under the nose. (an old cop trick if a cheap cigar isn't available.
Dark Angel
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5 posted 07-27-2005 04:36 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

I once handed a co-worker a can of deodorant, asked him to use it and then told him he could keep it. A not so subtle hint, I  know....but, I was jist about fainted  

mxx  


take bread away from me, if you wish, take air away. but do not take from me your laughter.

~neruda~
Mysteria
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6 posted 07-27-2005 05:35 AM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Strange thing is I was told that people with odor problems can't tell by themselves that they have offensive odor!  Nothing worse is there?     So, I think I would tell her nicely and say you are only doing it as a friend, because someone who didn't care wouldn't bother and only avoid her,and you didn't want to fall into that category.  A little truth will go a long way, for everyone including her.  She may have been avoided by folks for this very reason and wasn't even aware of it.  How do I know this works - I did it to my neighbour who believe it or not had never bought a deodorant before but sure does now, and we are still very good friends, honest!

Some people have a problem beyond that though and it has to be treated by a doctor, so I think the best way is to say," Are you aware that you carry a very offensive odor," followed by, "As a friend I thought we should talk about it if you wished?"   Maybe they are aware, and then again maybe they aren't see?  See?  
Sunshine
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7 posted 07-27-2005 05:43 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Mys is right on target. It could be everything from halitosis to bad teeth.

If a garlic eater - [I love garlic] it could be scent glands from her feet...[yeah, garlic seems to plummet to one's feet...]

and I'll go on the record that if I ever become that questionable in odor, I hope those around me WOULD tell me! Because we seem to become immune to ourselves!
Christopher
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8 posted 07-27-2005 11:45 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

tact is all fine and good, but honesty's better (i'm a guy, they can't go hand-in-hand - it's not possible)

"no, honey, your butt looks just fine in those jeans... at least the part that's in this time zone."

speaking of - did you hear that they're trying to extend daylight savings time by a couple of months? that'd be neat.

so, tact or honesty would work - or just take the job upon yourself; pull a hose into the house and start a "water fight"
Caraway
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9 posted 07-27-2005 01:06 PM       View Profile for Caraway   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Caraway

Put one of those sticky air freshners in your hand and then give the person a good pat on the back.  If they see it there maybe they will get the hint, and if they don't, then they will have that nice country spice smell.
LeeJ
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10 posted 07-27-2005 03:01 PM       View Profile for LeeJ   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LeeJ

I agree with Kari and Mysteria...chances are, if you give this person a bath gift, they are still not going to realize they have a problem...are you certain it's BO, or could they be taking meds that might contribute, or perhaps garlic and or a different eating habit then most, which includes a lot of spicy foods?

Good luck, surely won't be easy, but perhaps you could strike up a conversation to find out if this person has drastically changed their life syle and or taking meds?

Mysteria
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11 posted 07-27-2005 03:05 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Christopher you crack me up!  Hey in this heat, you could always send her to a water park, with the rest of the stinkers!
  
Good grief, can you imagine the water quality at that place?  Not very appealing is it?  

[This message has been edited by Mysteria (07-27-2005 11:08 PM).]

Ron
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12 posted 07-27-2005 03:35 PM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

I'm surprised no one has suggested it yet, but . . .

Why not just accept this person for who and what they are?

Body odor, shaving various parts of the anatomy, tattoos, piercings, all of these and much more are little more than cultural biases, important only to those so biased. Maybe this individual, indeed, doesn't realize "she has a problem," or just maybe, she sees it as everyone else's problem rather than hers?

Mankind survived a heck of long time before the advent of deodorant, after all.
Sunshine
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13 posted 07-27-2005 04:08 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

That's a good thought, Ron -
but if I ever stink?
Please let me know!
Alicat
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14 posted 07-27-2005 04:41 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Mankind may have lived a heck of a long time without deoderant, but they sure did discover aromatics, spices, and perfumes fairly darn quickly as well. Seredipitious coincidence?  I think not.
serenity blaze
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15 posted 07-27-2005 04:57 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Ron? Easy advice coming from a hermit, doncha think?

*chuckle*

But as ya'll probably realize, I don't normally worry so much about tact, but this is a young girl, and a friend of my daughters. And yes, I could hold my nose for the duration of her otherwise delightful visits (she's a terrific kid) but I don't think others would have been so kind or even tactful. (They say children are cruel, but teens can be downright malicious.) I also suspect that her mother has her hands full as a single parent (the child is left to her own devices quite a lot and spends a lot of time here too) and whether it was financial reasons or simply an oversight of grooming advice, I did want to help. (I actually became concerned when I learned that she had been tagged "Miss Armpit" by the other kids.)

So my daughter had a talk with her.

And lawsy Ron, I've never been accused of intolerance before. Tsk..you oughtta know better about me regarding stuff like that. If anything else, I've been accused of being too tolerant. (I don't exactly hang around with "the beautiful people" yanno. But you are more than welcome to come to my next barbecue and see for yourself. )

Jerry Springer could film his show here and spare the travel expense for his guests.

And sure, once someone knows better, they can feel free to cover themselves in cow dung as long as they don't sit on my couch.

But I do think that a bit of gentle guidance for someone who perhaps didn't know better was in order.

I mean, I'm all for acceptance of people as they are, but yanno? I don't think employers look at it that way. Proper grooming is just part of the gig. Ain't saying that's right, but it's just the way it is.

And btw, folks, if I have a booger hanging outta my nose, please tell me. I'd rather know.
Mysteria
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16 posted 07-27-2005 10:31 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

I sure do agree that certain habits I personally don't happen to have are indeed cultural, and personal choice and do accept them.  No where have I seen in any culture that smelling bad makes you the Big Kahuna.  Some human customs do require an acceptance that is unconditional for sure.  However I do have a tiny problem with those unshaved legs and armpits women sport and yes, that is my problem not theirs but,   , not to mention unkept feet, hand and toenails, or a rat's nest for hair, but that is just me.  I do accept personal art of any kind a person feels they have to do to make them happy, as this is truly the only thing we have control over in this life, ourselves.  But, I figure when someone's nasty hygiene habits invade my space it gives me some right to mention something to them "tactfully," but then would only do that if I was almost certain they were not aware of it, or could do something about it.  That would depend on what country I was in of course too.       I would not go up to some poor, unfortunate person living on the street with my idea of using Mitchem deodorant, and fully understand their restrictions, but a person I was around quite often, or worked with, I sure as heck would.  They may get mad for a bit yes, but I bet it would leave them something to think about.  Like I said earlier, when I did this very thing, the person was grateful actually as he didn't even know, and finally figured out why people may have avoided him his entire life, and excluded him.  

Oh and by the way Ron, remember I told you how nice you smelled (your cologne?)           Yes you did, and as glad as I was to meet you I have to tell you that if you had knocked me over with more than your charm I might just had to haul you aside and mention something to you, yes I would, now you know I would!  I don't think I would have liked the feedback I got but I still would have done it.  Heck I would have hated to draw straws as to who was going to sit next to a cute guy like you.  By the way, good thing you did smell so darn "purty" in that theatre, because with your stubborn streak, and not moving I might have turned you in you "stinker." *smilin here*

Karen I still have to agree with you on this one, as I am tolerant of almost anything on any body except ignorance of bad hygeine.  I find it leaves 3 choices; to say something nicely, avoid them at all costs, or rub Vic's under your nose for the rest of your encounters with them.

I have a tattoo by the way, a big colored one to boot, and could care less what people think of it.  I rather like the silly thing and was thinking of getting more even to "express" myself.  However, if I smelled like yesterday's cabbage - I am pretty sure someone would tell me, and hope to goodness they would think enough of me to do just that.  So after all that rambling, I am glad your daughter is like you.         and I bet her friend is too.


[This message has been edited by Mysteria (07-28-2005 01:43 AM).]

LeeJ
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17 posted 07-28-2005 09:17 AM       View Profile for LeeJ   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LeeJ

WHAT????? YOU GUYS SHAVE YOUR LEGS???? AND SHAVE UNDER YOUR ARMS TO??????

I SUPPOSE YOUR GOING TO TELL ME YOU TAKE BATHS MORE THEN ONCE A WEEK????????

AHHHH HEM...LOL

RON, YOU KIDDING RIGHT????

Seriously, I know you think its mean, but ya know, there is no excuse to be stinky...in modern days with soap and water readily available?  I don't think this gal knows any different, and ya know, stinky people can be just as offensive as stinky perfume...

ya know what, they said Queen Victoria stank to the hills and back again, but wore heavy perfume to cover up the smell...but in those days, water, soap and Bath and Body works were not available in the malls.

Savage Quiescence
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18 posted 07-28-2005 11:49 AM       View Profile for Savage Quiescence   Email Savage Quiescence   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Savage Quiescence

Glad to hear your daughter talked to her friend. Just for the record, you could have taken them shopping and went to the deodorant aisle. Then you could get one for yourself and let them both pick out one, too.

www.livejournal.com/users/alimakins

Christopher
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19 posted 07-28-2005 04:56 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

where do their rights end and mine begin?

within smelling distance.

why should i have to accept them for smelling bad? can't they accept me for wanting them to NOT smell bad.

an old boss of mine was terrible in the odor dept. one could tell within four feet (no exaggeration) that he rarely, if ever, introduced his teeth to a toothbrush & thought deodorant was... i don't know what he thought of it, i just know he didn't use it at all. it made for an awfully uncomfortable work environment, compounded by the fact that he was also unaware of "personal space." i'm not too happy with someone getting nose-to-nose with me in any case... but when they smell like the local landfill and like to let out these bellowing guffaws that spew toxic wind directly into your face... *shiver*

no one could figure out how to tell him, though, as they didn't want to hurt his feelings. in the end, i simply approached him and asked if he knew that his body odor was offending people. he shrugged and said ok, he'd start taking a bath every day then.

just like that.

i still get ill thinking about it.

ironically, i've been looking to hire some new estimators and happened across a resume this week from... yep, the same person. it was no surprise, but his resume (mailed in) had several smudges on it and was a tad bit wrinkled. i found myself wishing for a pair of surgical gloves as i carried it from the top of my desk to the trash can...
Alicat
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20 posted 07-28-2005 05:56 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Now that's irony!
serenity blaze
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21 posted 07-28-2005 06:08 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

*chuckle*

I can still accept someone's decision to go through life smelling bad--from a distance.

But yep, if you wanna be welcome in my home, y'gotta put forth some effort not to go leaking your body fluids on my fabrics.

And C? You've my total sympathy about the co-worker thing. It's hell on earth to be trapped in a small space with the odorific. (Btw, people, too much cologne stinks too.)

and grinning, I didn't realize my little rant would cause such a stink. But I had a feeling I wasn't the only one who's encountered this problem.

And like I said, we still have AUGUST to endure.

Midnitesun
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22 posted 07-28-2005 07:38 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

Chris  
quote:
where do their rights end and mine begin?

within smelling distance.


I am literally picking myself up from the floor after that line. LOL
NOW< WHERE IS MY DAMNED DEODORANT?

meanwhile...one of the NICEST people I ever met, came into my office

reeeking

he was from Ethiopia
and apparently, they don't worry about
western 'sensibilities'
sweat and smells are
natural

it took two weeks, and a really tactful male friend of mine to convince him he didn't smell good at a western university, and had little hopes of getting a job unless he bought

deodorant

it all worked out ok
he bought
they hired
end of story
/font>
JesusChristPose
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since 06-21-2005
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23 posted 07-28-2005 09:54 PM       View Profile for JesusChristPose   Email JesusChristPose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JesusChristPose

Some people just can't help it, they stink.

Others can, but have bad personal hygiene.

I just avoid any stinking person, period.

Leave a deodorant stick on his or her desk or whatever, if that person has bad hygiene.
If not, don't say anything.
littlewing
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since 03-02-2003
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New York


24 posted 07-29-2005 03:41 AM       View Profile for littlewing   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for littlewing

OMG, I am so awful - I am laughing over here and it is only due to the replies.

Ok, if it were an adult?  yes, I would say, "Man, you stink"  If I knew them well enough.

A child?  Ok, way different. Good that your daughter spoke with her because some kids don't know. And coming from her peer is better than an adult.    

There is this one smelly guy at work - it is so bad that the chair he sits in stinks (TG I DONT sit there) but nobody says anything, they just spray stuff all over the place.

I think thats cruel. Someone needs to take this man aside and say listen, man there is an issue here . . . THAT would be the nice thing to do.

I agree about the boogers, as well as something in my teeth or hair, I would actually be pissed if you were talking to me all night without telling me something like that.  

I would tell you . . . *grin*

Thats what friends are for, man.
 
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