I hear ya, Kace.
Ain't nothing wrong with an occasional bang tho.
I told this story somewhere before, but my sister Cathy also hated fireworks--bless her heart, her nerves always got the best of her, so when I presented my nephew with a bag of fireworks well over a decade ago she was pretty ticked off at me.
She jumped with every boom.
So I called my nephew in, and told him, "Yanno what I used to do?"
And proceeded to tell him how much fun it was to decimate the piles of um, well, dog poo.
I was pretty pleased with myself too, as he ran gleefully out to the yard, where nodding, there were piles prolific from the gang of strays she and I had taken in.
"Are you completely crazy?" Cathy asked me.
I smiled serene and told her, "Shhhhh...listen."
Not only was the sound muffled, but I further explained that it was safer too, as we KNEW he would back away from the offending little bomb pretty quickly after he lit the fuse.
I enjoy coming up with unique solutions.
Have a happy holiday, Kace.