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Passions in Poetry

I, too, would like to vent...

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Cloud 9
Senior Member
since 11-05-2004
Posts 988
Ca


0 posted 05-06-2005 03:52 PM       View Profile for Cloud 9   Email Cloud 9   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cloud 9

Sooo, I went to court this morning for a restraining order against husband also regarding visitation for our daughter. No, husband didn't show of course. That is too easy for him. How does one have a child and completely walk away from him/her. He has three other kids besides mine. Which one he only sees every now and then out of the four(no its no our child he sees). Out of the four years with him we were solidly together for the past 2 1/2 years. He stayed home with her, so he was with her 24/7. He was on disability and saved me on daycare, is why he stayed home. Of course, after what has happened to my son, hopefully nothing happened to her. He rarely called her before I filed this order. She is only three, but he means so much to her. Now your probably asking me..."what makes me think he would be any different towards her than the others?" I think this is the reason why I tried at this marriage, no only for my reasons but for her as well. She IS adjusting fine and asks about him here and there. But it tears me apart when she cries and wants him. "where is he?" Homeless without a job. Any advice, opinions or comments? UUrrggg! I just thought I would vent, this whole week has been hectic and this was the topper.
***sigh***
Ringo
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since 02-20-2003
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Saluting with misty eyes


1 posted 05-06-2005 08:08 PM       View Profile for Ringo   Email Ringo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ringo

Cloud- You are speaking my son's life, as well as my ex-wife wwith your words.
My ex's father bailed when she was about your daughter's age. A single working mother is one of the most difficult jobs to have... My mother in law did it, and her three daughters came out the other side mostly OK. Of course, it is almost 36 years later, and NONE of the girls will talk to him.
My son's bioplogical idiot came in and out of my son's life fso many times that it wasn't even a joke any longer. This last time, my son has officially given up on him, and refuses to even discuss him any longer. He could very easily be a very bitter, angry, and destructive young man, yet with the love that his mother and I gave him, and the hard work we did leting him know that he was NOT the reason for these things happening, he has turned into a basically well-adjusted 16 y/o who has some anger that needs to be dealt with.
Keep lovbing your daughter, and NEVER talk badly of her father in front of her, or where there is a chance that she might be able to hear. Eventually, she will get the idea of what happened, and will make up her own mind about what to do. All you can do is to stand by and love her even more.
If and when you have another man in your life, and her father comes back around... expect the new man to catch all sorts of grief as she tries to settle things in her mind. If your ex leaves her again, then be prepareed for him to catch even more grief because she can't be mad at her father (he's not there, and he is her father). Eventually things will settle into where she knows what's going on, and life gets better.

Wishing prayers and peace in your life during these difficult times.

They took pictures of our dreams
Ran to hide behind the stairs
And said maybe when it's right for you, they'll fall

Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


2 posted 05-06-2005 08:11 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

I feel for you, but restraining orders are just pieces of worthless paper if the other person doesn't respect it.  And due to legalities, the police can't do anything unless he breaks the order and harms you in some way.  Insanely stupid, but that's how it is thanks to advocacy groups.
Cloud 9
Senior Member
since 11-05-2004
Posts 988
Ca


3 posted 05-09-2005 11:10 AM       View Profile for Cloud 9   Email Cloud 9   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cloud 9

Ringo- Thanks!!! I appreciate the advice and the support. I never talked bad about my son's father and my son welcomed him with open arms after 9 years. Its definately going to be different with her. She is three and its hard to explain at that age. I am positive when she asks about him or she tells me she loves him or misses him. UUUUUUhhh! Its hard. Again, I appreciate your support.


Alicat- Restraining orders?! Yes, I know how they can be. I live in Calif. in the East Bay. They already had two killings here because they never took the mother seriously. It was sad. Thanks for your input.
 
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