Never close enough
Oh my.... this sounds just like my past....
I married when I was 18 and had a baby soon there after.. and me and my teenage hubby had to move in with his parents because among other things, he wouldnt work and support me and his child... anyhoo...
We lived in a house with his mom, dad, sister, her baby, and then the three of us. Crowded would be the UNDERSTATEMENT of the year. It was horrible, and all I done was cry. I missed having people around me that loved me, and these people were strangers to me. Either of my parents would have let me come back home, but not with the man that I married, because they wanted him to stand up and be a man.
His dad was (is still) and alcoholic, his mother was as crazy as a loon, and the sisters just kinna went their own way. I was left there with HIS family while he worked ( a few houurs ) fished, played pool, or whatever. It was the worst time of my life. I was a young mother who knew nothing about being a mother, I was missing my family and having to deal with a bunch of loons to boot lol
We all have a breaking point, and one day I just told my hubby... "Look, you can stay here if you want, and I can go home to my parents - or we can make a life together and find our own place." For some strange reason he agreed and we were out in a week. We moved into a 1 bedroom trailor with no air, minimal heat and the smell of every person that had ever lived there before us - but lemme tell ya... I slept like a baby that night...
Now.... that was 12 years ago.... and well lets just say that had I had any sense I woulda left his there and never looked back, but well you know what they say about regret lol
He and I didnt make it long, and divorced when my baby was 5 (as I sure hope wont be the case for you)... once again, I gave him a choice... he made it... me and my son (and daughter at that point) left... and guess what?
I slept like a baby that night, and have ever since.
So...what am I trying to say?
Its time for you and your b/f to do the scariest thing you will ever do and that is to jump out there and get your feet wet. No one says it'll be easy... but in the long run you'll be glad you suffered and tried.