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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan 
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Occasionally these days, Human Resource managers will gather all the other employees and repeat the company policy on sexual harassment which is pretty standard from one company to the next. In it there is a prohibition, with threat of discipline and termination, against “unwelcome sexual advances”. “Unwelcome sexual advances”? I know the phrase is an acknowledgement that romances leading to marriage can and have occurred between employees. Still, how does one distinguish a welcome sexual advance? What evidence, that will stand in court, should one have that a sexual advance would be welcomed? Please illustrate with examples. |
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Cloud 9 Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980Ca |
I work for a very small company and before this I worked for a very large company. There is a group of us that get a little flirty. All depends on your sense of humor. Some people take it to a level that wasn't intended for. Some people blow it off. I understand that if you are being harrassed aggressively which I have seen and have been through with a couple of others then, yes it is wrong. This person was plain out asking us and harrassing us over email. Although, it did start out on a kidding level within the group of us. He is the only one that got aggressive more and more. He is the one that "doesn't play well with others." |
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
quote: Isn't that often what happens, though, when people joke about something that is ultimately very serious? You see, the problem is that most aren't really kidding. What's ha-ha humorous about flirting, after all? Like the little boy dipping a girl's braids in an ink well, the harmless fun is a smokescreen. It hides different things for different people, I think, but it nonetheless hides. Why should we be surprised, or even offended, when one person, perhaps less socially graceful than others, mistakes what is being hidden? Misunderstandings, I think, are relatively rare when everyone is up front and honest. Fun? Personally, I'd much rather see people play with loaded guns. It's substantially less dangerous. As to John's original question, the answer is quite simple. If you don't know the person well enough to know whether the advance will be welcome or unwelcome, then you don't know the person well enough even if it does turn out to be welcome. |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Whatever happened to asking someone out for a cup of coffee? |
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
For me, Brad, that falls under the "up front and honest" category. Circumstances count, of course, but asking someone out is generally an expression of interest. No smokescreens. |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
Remember this distinction has to stand up in a court of law before a judge and jury. Give examples of “welcome sexual advance” that need be not proven by a subsequent marriage. There was a situation in an R & D department where the young lab technicians were engaged in a variety of apparent relationships within the department, (summarized by one executive as: “everyone was playing, (I changed the verb), around”). Apparently a couple of those relationships ended to the dissatisfaction of one or more participants, sides were taken, and Human Resources was then inundated with sexual harassment complaints for actions predating the those disputes. As an aside, in Rhode Island a divorced woman successfully sued her lawyer, with whom she had had an acknowledged sexual relationship, in civil court for two hundred counts of rape, (at a thousand dollars per incident), on the argument that she really only slept with him because she felt if she didn’t he wouldn’t work as hard as he did on her custody case. |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
While working as a janitor at J.C. Penny, I found out one of the floor people was of Scottish ancestry. So I told him a rather colorful joke about the kilt and we had a good laugh. Later, from my understanding, he tells the joke to a female floor worker. She finds out I first told it, and brought a sexual harassment charge against me, but not against him. I had the rare priviledge [sic] of watching a very anti-male informational tape as well as giving my signature as a promise never to sexually harass any other worker with the added promise that the next infringment would lead to termination. The odd thing is, I won Employee of the Month during all this.  |
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